


to love (is to burn)

by belldroy101



Series: serendipity [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Minor Character Death, Self-Discovery, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Swearing, Violence, don't b fooled there's also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-01-07 20:48:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 47,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12240366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belldroy101/pseuds/belldroy101
Summary: "this is what magic is son, this is what magic does to good people. you must learn this now, while you still can, that there is no such thing as a good magician.they are poisonous, inside and out."Or, Jinyoung is a prince on the run, Jaebum is a leader of misfits trying his best, and revolution stops for no one.





	1. intro, the forgotten son

**Author's Note:**

> me, not even two days ago: yeah..i think i won't be starting another fic for awhile, i'm so busy with school and work and i don't have any inspiration anyway.  
> me, 7k and not even 24 hours later: bitch you really thought huh
> 
> aka the fantasy au i've been wanting to write for forever and finally committed to 
> 
> expect cameos from various groups! will tag as they come up

 

_“People say you're born innocent, but it's not true. You inherit all kinds of things that you can do nothing about. You inherit your identity, your history, it's like a birthmark that you can't wash of." -Hugo Hamilton_

 

* * *

 

In this world there are humans, and every human has a life they are going to lead. In a world of kings and of dragons, of knights and of magicians, of the rich and the poor and all those who fall somewhere between them; there is a story written for every one. And with this, with these uncountable number of lives all racing towards the end, it is undoubted that there are people that will never meet. Maybe, in other worlds, they could be a lover or a friend. A soulmate or a mortal enemy. But in this world they are not. There are some lives that are never going to cross. Like straight lines on endless planes, they will forever remain parallel. Some even running so close together you think, for just a moment, they may finally intersect. But they can’t and they won’t, for the universe has not foretold it to be.

There are others, however, that must always cross. No matter how hard the world tries to pull them apart, to break the lines so delicately drawn, they can not intercept fate and can not rewrite what has already been written. That is how the universe works, and the words written in the stars have always ruled the lives of men.

So this is a story, of the lines that did not cross and that must. Of the ways in which fate forced people together and the ways that lines were crossed that not even fate could have predicted. This is a story of destiny, and a story of choice. And a story of all the things in between.

In short, it seems quite complicated.

But in reality, even the most complicated of stories have a beginning and an end. Everything dies, and the world still turns when the things in it leaves. The world does not have time for the fleeting moments that man creates. The stars may weep for the lives of men, but the world will keep moving on. 

In the end, everything is simple.

And this story is just one of numerous, of all the lives that could have been led and all the ways it could have gone; this is how it happened. It may very well be just one little blip in the grand expanse of time, but it turns out that it still matters all the same.

So, this particular story starts like most stories do, with a door that had always been closed, finally opening.

 

* * *

The door to the royal library is always closed. Jinyoung should know, he visits every day. It’s his favorite spot in all the palace, it's where he can sit and devour book after book and no one can bother him. In this huge expansive space, where the smell of dust and ink permeates the air so thickly that most would not enter the room unless utterly forced, Jinyoung can just simply be. In here, he exists as nothing but this. A boy reading books in the quiet of a room. Nothing more and nothing less. It’s his preferred place to be.

So he _knows_ that he closed the door on the way in, the door always remains closed. It keeps the loud hustle and bustle of the rest of the castle firmly out, so when trying to read having it open would only be a distraction and an annoyance.

But right now it _is_ open, swaying in the gentle breeze of early spring that's coming in from the large open window. The window is made of stained glass, and it reflects brilliant colors of red and gold onto the carpet; grand and godly. When he was younger, he’d lie in the sun with the color on his back and nap in the afternoons after a long morning of reading. This room is his solace, but the empty space normally filled by the comforting oak of the door is staring at him mockingly. It whispers to him all the ways that may or may not be the causation for this abnormality in Jinyoung’s strictly set routine.

Since he was a child, Jinyoung, lithe and small and disappointingly meek for a future king; would make it a game to try and escape the guards that were set about to protect him. He always felt they much preferred keeping him _in_ , locked away from civilization and fun, rather than keeping anyone else _out_. And when you spend your whole life behind locked doors, you start to grow pretty antsy. His only company a majority of the time being whatever guards would stand stoically at his side while he went about his daily business. He learned very quickly to get used to being alone even with a guard beside him, but even still he not only relished in solitude, but began to crave it. It was something to make those empty days a little more interesting; like a game of hide and seek that the guards never technically agreed to, but indulged him in anyway because they too understand the agony that was the monotony of their lives behind these walls.

So it’s now ironic that at twenty years old his childhood achievement of escaping the guard's stifling presence has become his damnation. He came here alone, slipped away like he’s always done and they let him because this is a game they all know well. There is no one in immediate vicinity who can help him. But he is in the _castle_ , the safest place in all the kingdom. Who could ever hurt him here?

But the door is still open.

He swears he hears a creak.

You see, the prince is a logical person, he always has been. He knows the sounds of an old palace. The moans and the groans that come with history and prestige and really old stone. But he has also been coming to this room since he could walk on his own, and he knows which sounds are normal and which sounds are not. These sounds aren't normal, none of this is. 

Jinyoung feels an icy fear enter his heart, so cold his blood stutters in his veins. Another boy may just write this off as a silly mistake, a mind playing tricks on the easy target of your own delusions. It could be a sneaky animal, or a lost child, or his older sisters playing tricks on him like they did when they were kids. But Jinyoung is no mere boy, Jinyoung is royalty. He is a prince. He is _the_ prince. And he has been raised to be nothing if not paranoid.

He begins repeating curses in his head because he should have paid more attention to combat lessons. The bitter thought enters his mind as he remembers his fathers words, how in this instance he was proven right about Jinyoung not putting effort into fighting classes; all the books in the world can’t help him now, not when he is alone and unprepared. He thinks to call for his guards, but that would reveal his position, tucked away in a cranny out of plain view. Here, he still has a shot. He breaths in the cool air and tries to steady his rapidly beating heart, afraid that whoever is here with him can hear it like the clanging of chapel bells. Is yelling for help a risk worth taking? Should he wait until someone inevitably comes looking for him?

There are lives that were always meant to cross, and ways in which they never will. This is a story of destiny, but it is also a story of choice.

Jinyoung ends up not having to make a decision at all, because before he can something very hard hits the soft spot on the side of his head and his legs buckle underneath him. The prince is out cold before he can even register the panic that would undoubtedly surface when he realized that this may be the last time he ever gets to see his library.

 

* * *

It wasn’t always like this.

At one point in time, this land was at peace. At one point in time, there was harmony, and very little bloodshed. But peace is the exception, peace is not the rule. Humans are greedy, angry things, and they breed chaos in their wake.

At one point in time, this land was at peace: this is not that time.

Once, magic flowed freely like the roots of trees; it's reach growing more and more every day, and the king that ruled was just and peaceful. Young as he was, he had strength in his heart and compassion in his head. Although he was not perfect, there were certainly times of unrest, times of violence, but for the most part none were so destructive that they could not recover. The people loved their king, and the majority of subjects young and old followed him ardently. The kingdom was thriving.

And some of those subjects were blessed by something as old as time itself. Magic. Magic is a fickle thing. Beautiful- in some ways. Like a tree, it can bloom; strong and healthy. But magic also comes with the capability to tear apart, because sometimes those roots are poisoned, are black and tangled and covered in thorns. Magic takes not only from others but also from oneself, and using the wrong magic destroys the user from the inside out. It takes a strong person to become a master magician. To be able to handle all that comes with having so much power inside of them. A God.

Before, in these times of peace, no one had even dreamed of reaching those lengths. They didn’t even know it was possible, for magic was only used for small tasks and that’s all it could be. No one had the power to go beyond. It was an aid, a trick, but not much else. The people were naive, and they were so painfully innocent. Like saplings, that is all magic was at the time. Fledgling and new, tentatively poking through the dirt on fragile stems.

Then, a storm came. But this was the kind of storm you could not see coming, there were no clouds on the horizon to predict what would happen next. No, this was the kind of storm that you did not see until it was smashing your windows and breaking down your door- demanding entry.

Not even the fates could have predicted the storm that had come.

His name was not the Master by birth, but it was the name the people gave him. No one knows exactly who the Master is or was- could be or had been. How long he has lived or the lives he has seen. Some say he created the world itself, while others say he is a demon who has clawed his way up from hell. The Master does not seek peace, nor does he seek war. All he seeks is power. There is no sides to his battle, he has no allies and works with no mere mortal or magician alike. There is only him and the magic he wields, the magic he is trying to gain. He thrives off of chaos, no one knows why or how, but it is in that chaos that his power lies.

The thing about anarchy is- it doesn’t always happen quickly. Toxic, the Master slowly infected the lands, the crops, the people. He did it subtly, slowly, so the people would not even realize the manipulation against them. His rein of terror turned the people against one another. Friend against friend, brother against sister, lover against lover, and suddenly the small magicians were threats. Were liars. Were working with the Master by the simple proof that they shared some part of them that gave them the ability of the Heavens. The people did exactly what the Master had hoped, because humans are greedy, angry things. Blood flooded the streets, and ran down the drains. For seven years, the land was one of mayhem as the Master watched it unfold.

Some lives were always meant to cross, but some never were. The fates sung of the king’s first and only son who would bring order back. This boy was going to live, and he was going to be their salvation. His life and the Master’s were not foreseen as ever going to cross except for when the son would slay the enemy and restore peace to the land. 

But the Master did not deal with the fates.

And they say that when the king lost his first born, he cried tears of blood.

The king would never say how his son died; but only, with his voice shaking from anger and grief, that it was at the hand of magic and at the hand of the Master.

His son was gone, but so was the one who had murdered him. Just like that. With no explanation, no fanfare. He simply was and then he was not. No one knows where the Master went. Or if he is still alive. Only that the king was never quite the same. For the years after, there was execution after execution. Any with magic in their veins questioned and slaughtered. People learned to hide, learned to suppress, learned to never let their ability grow. Instead of nurturing the sapling, they cut off it's leaves and tore out it's roots. This is the scar that chaos leaves. This is the scar that the Master left.

And time passed, and like all things the Master became a story. Something that the parents tell their children in hushed voices when they stay out after dark. Some believe he is dead, but others say he is simply dormant. He is just waiting for the moment to bring the land to it’s knees once again.

But the world moved on, the queen had more children. Everyone held their breath as they waited to see if another son would surface regardless of what destiny had said. The queen bore a daughter first, beautiful and strong. Then another daughter, fierce and compassionate. And then: on a dark night with lightning raining down like fire and the heavens open in rain- a boy. A sickly, small boy with wide eyes. So fragile one might question his linage, but there was no doubt. For on his right arm lay the mark of royalty, the brilliant crest of intricate black lines small and sure below his shoulder. This was indeed a prince.

This was a child who had no idea all the history that lay on his shoulders. A child without a fate. Who was born out of none.

Jinyoung is the second son that was never meant to be. He is a child born of the fear, of the heartbreak.

He is a child born of blood.

 

* * *

 

Jackson can’t fucking believe he got captured, and as he pulls at the chains around his wrists he can’t help but think that Bam will _never_ let him live this down.

Not only has he been captured, he didn’t even get captured by a reputablesubgroup in the badlands. He got captured by the _Zamirians_ , the ones who can’t tell the difference between a kitchen knife and a dagger. The stupid, hulking barbarians that everyone else made fun of when they got more than two drinks in them at the tavern. People would mimic their wide stances and deep voices and the way they swung an ax at even the squeak of a mouse. They’re literally a complete joke to anyone and everyone.

They’re also the ones who did their interrogations in shitty, moldy basements that were probably giving Jackson at least two new diseases just in the last hour. His wrists and ankles hurt from where the metal has been digging in as he pulls at the wall, and the man before him has him seated in a wooden chair that is rubbing rather unpleasantly in his tailbone. The humid air makes his lungs hurt. And to top it off: he knows he'll be the laughing stock of his clan when he gets back. So this is, in short, the worst thing ever. 

And oh how lucky for him, the Zamirians are hulking and dumb and everyone makes fun of them, but they are also the largest group of people around that take such a great amount of pleasure in hurting others. Coincidentally enough, they’ve not earned the nickname of savage barbarians for nothing. 

Jackson is learning this firsthand.

“Don’t you-” _Slap._

“Think that-” _Slap._

“This method of torture is just a little-” _Slap. Slap. Slap._

“Counterproductive?”

Wrong word choice. The man who had just rearranged his bone structure looked at him as though Jackson had sprouted lilies from his hair, so he clearly had no idea what the word counterproductive even meant. On the brightside, he was no longer hitting him and Jackson could speak without being interrupted by the sound of his own flesh. He flexed his jaw and moaned at the sharp pain this caused from his bruising skin.

The man doing the damage is tall, with a thick beard and a belly that enters the room before he does. When he walks, his feet shuffle as though he is not capable of the effort it takes to lift a foot all the way up. He grabs Jackson’s collar tightly in his sweaty palms, and holds him to his face so Jackson can see flecks of food waiting in the wiry hair of his beard when he says, “Tell me what you were doing on our borders. And don't give me any shit, scum.”

Internally, he breathes a sigh of relief. This is what Jackson has been waiting for, the questioning. This is what he _lives_ for. He is a silvertongue, otherwise known as a dealer in lies and deceit. And he is one of the best he knows, his charm getting him freedom from even the stickiest of situations. It’s all just a matter of choosing which words to say that will get him an out, of smiling the right smile that will have people falling to their knees to help him. When he eventually decides on one, the lie comes off Jackson’s tongue easily, “I already told your friends! I’m a courtier for the king, I was sending a message to beyond the sea when you intercepted me. The kingdom was unaware your borders had increased.”

Wrong thing to say. Fuck.

As soon as he said it, he knew from the look on the man’s face that he should’ve picked a different excuse. His bearded face has turned beet red, and he grips Jackson tighter- his stinking breath making the other grimace. He had thought that bringing up the king would make him afraid of the kingdom's expansive power, but he should’ve known he’s too far into the outerlands for the king’s name to instill anything but anger. Rookie mistake. Strike two for Jackson’s pride, Bam would _really_ be giving him shit now.

“Maybe.." The Zamirian started venomously, "..if your king talked to the outerlands instead of hiding in his damn castle in the damn capital, your scrawny ass would’ve known to stay out of our land!” He roared, spittle hitting Jackson’s scandalized face.

“Okay. I know we’re all angry here. I get it. But scrawny? Really? Because honestly, I’ve heard otherwi-”

Jackson is man enough to admit that that particular punch to the face might have been deserved.

 

* * *

 

The world that Jinyoung grew up in was broken, but he’d never know. The young prince had been confined to castle walls all his life, surrounded only by good food and full stomachs and he could eat as though no one had ever made his mouth bleed, because no one really had. 

But he was the exception, he was not the rule. And the subjects he was supposed to lead one day did not have a similar experience.

The land outside of the safe walls of the capital city of Yeokshu were lands fraught with vagabonds and lawlessness. After the miles of farmland passed, one would enter what became known as the outerlands. These cities and towns were supposed to be controlled by the leaders within them, but were actually controlled by the corruption and manipulation of various subgroups that ruled the outerlands. Some good, some bad, some morally righteous and some deeply depraved. And the king? He let them all stay.

He turned a blind eye. He ignored his people’s suffering and dismissed it as being too far away and too far gone to have anything be done. He had much bigger worries, like completely eliminating magic from the kingdom. The king descended into fixation, into madness. He was no longer the young king the people revered, but was instead the one that had lost so much that it was clear his mind had went with it. As the years passed, the people in these outerlands grew to hate the king, they grew to resent the crown and everything that it stood for. This was a place of deep division.

And now something was brewing in these lands. Something new, and something dangerous. You could feel it in the air- the crackle and pop of restlessness. Something big was coming, and it was coming soon.

A prince was missing, _the_ prince was missing. The one kept under lock and key in the castle all his life. And it made the people buzz with awe and concern in equal measure. Because who knew what kind of mastermind could snatch the kingdom’s greatest paradox, greatest mystery, right out from under all their noses?

 

* * *

 

Jinyoung’s feet hurt. And his back hurt, and his arms and his head and his chest. He’s been sleeping on hard concrete for four days now, and for a body used to plush bedding the adjustment was beyond difficult. Even when he’d been allowed to go on the rare hunting trip with his father, he would still have a relatively comfortable cot. 

Memories from the last few days had been hazy, he’d woken up in this cell all by himself. He had no idea where he was, how long he’d been asleep, and who exactly had captured him. No one had hurt him though, even if his stomach had taken to giving him sharp pangs of hunger almost constantly since he woke up, and they were not showing any signs of stopping. The only time he saw his captors was when he was brought some kind of slop and water once a day; which was always thrown unceremoniously just in his reach. They're come and take others though, the ones in surrounding cells, sometimes they'd be gone for hours only to come back mutilated or screaming or both. Other times they just wouldn't come back at all. 

He was counting his prayers that he had not yet been one of the unfortunate souls at the mercy of these men's blades, but that made the waiting almost worse. At least if they talked to him or tortured him or questioned him at all, he’d know their motives better. Then he could properly figure out a way to escape or let the kingdom know of his whereabouts, right now he was completely in the dark both figuratively and literally.

All he knew was the room he was in, and the place was simple in design. It reminded him of a clan from the outerlands he’d studied not too long ago. But his head wasn’t quite right still, and he didn’t understand how he could get as far out into the outerlands as they resided in in such a short period of time. He racked his brain trying to come up with more answers that could help someone locate him, but the hunger and the fear weighed on his mind. The place itself was dark and damp, suggesting it was probably underground. The other cells spread out along the walls and there were no windows to be seen. There was a few other inhabitants but they were all further away from him, and none spoke much aside from moans and groans of hunger and pain. The sounds were so unnerving that Jinyoung spent most of his time huddled in the corner, trying to block them out.

It was on the fourth day that someone new arrived.

“Get the fuck down here.” A deep voice yelled before the voice was accompanied by the person who owned it coming through the door. He was a big man, and Jinyoung's stomach turned to see that he was dragging a body behind him; the person’s shoes scraping loudly across the floor. The human he was hauling with him seemed to be unconscious or worse, and as he was thrown into the cell right next to Jinyoung's his figure hit the back wall with a sickening _thump._

Jinyoung may have been sheltered, but he had seen dead bodies before. He'll never forget the first time. Eight years old, his father had pulled him from his studies with his tutor to show him the sight. It had been a young knight, one that Jinyoung actually recognized. He'd been nice, the kind to give his sisters flowers during the spring festival and to pretend he didn't see when Jinyoung was sneaking away from his guards. He had been nice, but that hadn't saved him. Apparently, he had angered a rogue magician by wearing the kings emblem, not even doing anything wrong his father had said. The poor boy had just been passing through, he had been punished solely for being associated with the king. In their fury the magician had reversed all his insides to the outside, so his organs lay atop his skin in a grotesque sight. There was so much blood, so much stink, but his face was still young and handsome; still the boy who gave his sisters flowers to make them blush. His father brought him into the room and made him look even when Jinyoung had tried so hard to keep his eyes screwed tightly shut, to pretend it wasn't actually there, to hold back the bile rising in his throat. 

 _this is what magic is son, this is what magic does to good people. you must learn this now, while you still can, that there is no such thing as a good magician_.

And Jinyoung had nodded and cried and had ran as fast as his legs could carry him to the library where he was safe from magicians and the world outside these walls where magicians took out people's insides just because they could.

Even so, even if he had seen that then, that didn't mean he was in any right mind to look now. The things he had seen done to men in this place made him sick, albeit no knight from his childhood, but bad enough. It was better to keep his eyes straight ahead and ignore anything next to him. To try and find some comfort, he started daydreaming about one of his favorite books he had read recently, in it were meadows and rivers and all the things Jinyoung had heard in theory but only seen once or twice. He imagined their beauty, their scent, it felt so real for a second he felt as though the grass was underneath him instead of this cold concrete. He had wanted so badly to tell his mother of this book, when he gets back he must remember to-

He's pulled out of it by a voice rasping, “What’s your name?." And it was with a start that he realized that it was the new person who had been thrown in. He counted to three, steeled his nerves, and then willed himself to look, and to his surprise; the man looking at him was, almost intimidatingly, handsome. With expressive eyes and windswept hair and looking _way_ too at home in the prison they had both found themselves in. He sat easily against the wall, casually even, as though this was his armchair by the fire at home rather than a dank, dark cell. The only evidence that this was out of the ordinary for the man was the mottled bruise by his eye and the blood steadily leaking out of his nose.

This was his first proper contact with someone since his kidnapping, but Jinyoung knew better then to respond to a name question. Everyone here was a potential enemy, and they absolutely could not know the truth about him. His mark of royalty burned against his shoulder as if reminding him of that fact. So he turned his head the other way, kept his eyes straight ahead, and ignored the man.

“Alright, not one for talking. That’s cool too, fair enough.”

Jinyoung breathed a silent sigh of relief, and started thinking of a way to introduce himself as a potential ally without giving away who he was. Before he could however, it was as if the other boy could not help but open his mouth, because he started speaking again.

“Well, I’m Jackson. I got caught doing some looking around on land I shouldn’t have and that’s how I ended up in this disgrace of a base. It’s a real piece of work right?”

This was safer territory than a name, so Jinyoung cautiously replied, “...yes, it is.”

Jackson clapped his hands in delight and his mouth split into a blinding grin, “And so he speaks! To what name do I owe my neighbor?”

“No name.” Jinyoung said flatly.

“Ah, one of those kind of deals. I get it no name, we’ve all been there.”

Jackson was looking at him now, and Jinyoung feels himself grow self conscious under his scrutiny. The others eyes seem to be able to see right through him.

Jackson relaxes back against the wall before he says,"So, tell me no name, how does a guy like you end up in a place like this?"

"I..I don't know." He responds truthfully.

"The Zamirian's are a rough people no name, and they can do a lot of damage. You must have done something to get on their shit list." Jackson insists, eyebrows furrowed.

"I suppose I did."

Jackson looks at him again, with those eyes, and Jinyoung can't help but wonder if he is as transparent as he feels. Jackson looks a little while longer, but he doesn't say another word.

Eventually Jinyoung goes back into his fantasy, tries his hardest to smell the wildflowers and hear the rush of water, and it is with those thoughts in his head that he drifts into an uneasy sleep.

 

* * *

 

When Jinyoung wakes up next, it's to the sound of screaming. Jackson is crouched next to the metal bars of the cell, but there is no friendliness to his expression; he's as still as a statue and his face appears deep in concentration. 

He notices Jinyoung and that smile is back, "Oh hey no name, welcome to the party kiddo."

"What's happening?" Jinyoung says, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes hurriedly.

"Oh, I got bored of this place. It was time for my friends to come pick me up. Can you fight?"

He stares at the man incredulously, "What?"

"I said," Jackson paused, there was a great crash from somewhere upstairs, "can you fight? Don't you want to get out of this hellhole too?"

Before Jinyoung could respond, the door opened and whatever he was going to say gets stuck in his throat.

He thinks if angels did exist, this is what a fallen one would look like. Hair as black as night, long enough to be roguish but not long enough to get in the way. Armor thin and light but practical, with a black bandanna tied around his mouth. He was beautiful, but in a way that made him seem not real. He was as untouchable as he was alluring. And those eyes. The eyes that met his were not like Jackson's, not open and charming, but they were instead hard and piercing. Like black pits. Where he felt that Jackson could sense his secrets, this man looked like he was damning him for them. 

Jackson squealed in delight next to him, "Jaebummie! It took you long enough. I've been here for _forever"_

_Wait, Jackson knows this guy?_

"It's been two days Jackson." The man says as moves his bandanna from his mouth to around his neck and he takes a lockpick out of his pocket. He begins working on the cell door as the noise around them grows louder.. By now, the other prisoners have heard the commotion and are yelling from their own cells. Pleas, insults, and everything in between. Upstairs, Jinyoung can still hear the distinct sounds of a battle going on.

"Exactly. Forever." He pouts as the door creaks open. 

"Yeah yeah, let's go." Jinyoung flinches as the fallen angel unsheathes a sword from his scabbard, and throws it down hard on the chains restricting Jackson. With a flash of blue light they easily disintegrate and Jackson is freed. Jinyoung disbelievingly thinks that even if he hadn't been the best at combat studies, he'd never seen a blade that could do that.

Jackson stands and stretches his legs with a groan, and is handed another sword that the man had been carrying on his other hip. Before they can walk away though, Jackson stops them in front of Jinyoung's cell.

“Jaebum wait- look at his shoulder.”

It takes Jinyoung a moment to realize that he's talking about him. It takes Jinyoung another moment to realize he's talking about his royalty mark. It takes him one final moment to realize exactly what that may mean for him. Panicked, he looks at his shoulder and realizes in horror that it had somehow gotten exposed. The long sleeved shirt he'd been wearing dirty and torn. How could he be so stupid? So oblivious? _When the fuck had that happened?_

The other man, Jaebum, was still looking at Jinyoung unimpressed, “What are you talking about? We don’t have time for this Jacks-”

“Stop. Look at his shoulder.”

Jinyoung considered blocking his arm from view, but it was futile at this point. Jaebum leaned closer to the bars that separated them with squinted eyes, and for just a moment they widened before when he seemed to process what was in front of him, then they quickly reverted back to the harsh scowl he wore on his face.  

“Come on, I expect you to know better. Every person with even an ounce of brainpower is pretending to be the lost prince right now. He’s trying to make an extra buck.”

“What? And get his ass murdered by every two faced piece of filth trying to win ransom money in this fucking hell hole? That doesn’t make _sense_ Jae.”

“I said an _ounce_ of brainpower after all.” Was Jaebum's retort, the frustration in his voice become more and more evident.

Wildly Jackson looked around, grabbed something from back inside his own vacated cell. Before Jinyoung could even take it in, icy cold water was hitting his skin. It ran down his limbs in rivulets, and he yelped as the shivers hit him full force. He tried to protest, but his teeth chattering and paralyzing fear held him back.

“Look! Water on the mark, it didn’t come off. It's not paint.”

“He probably inked it in his arm with a sharp needle.”

“It would be red, scarred and trying to heal. This looks like it’s always been a part of his skin.”

“What are you trying to say Jackson? We take him with us?” Jaebum sighed.

“Yes.” He said with a singular nod.

“Why would the crown prince be caught by the _Zamirians_? He got taken from the castle Jackson, you think a Zamirian could break into the capital?”

“I don’t _know_ Jaebum, but isn’t this weird enough to at least check out?” 

Jaebum appeared to reach his breaking point, because he snarled, “We don’t have fucking time for this.” 

“God. Even if he isn’t the prince, he’s an innocent. Look at him. You think he belongs here?” Jackson says as he works on using the lockpick. Jaebum looks but doesn't make moves to stop him. 

“We don’t _know_ him Jackson, I have to look out for everyone in our group. Everyone. We’ve had actors before, you don’t know what he’s capable of. There isn’t even enough evidence here to make a decision. We have to _go_.”

“You’re absolutely right. There isn't enough time to make a proper decision, so I’ll make the decision for us.” Jackson said matter of factly as he took the sword Jaebum had given him and swung it down hard on the chains that restrained Jinyoung, setting his legs and arms free from the wall with one fell swoop. Jinyoung stands awkwardly, his wrists still connected by chains even if they're free from the wall. He wobbles a little on his feet, but heads to the door. Jaebum stands off to the side, watching.

Jaebum stood there, seeming to take a moment to form his words, and when they came they came quietly with little emotion, “This is why I’m the leader and you’re not Jackson. You make choices that are reckless.” Somehow, Jinyoung thinks, the lack of anger made it all the more scary.

And Jinyoung has only known Jackson for a few hours, but he sees for the first time a crack in his grand facade. For just a moment, the cocksure smirk falters, the confident step stutters, and Jackson’s eyes crinkle a little in what seems to be hurt. Jinyoung wonders exactly how deep the words cut the man, and feels a rush of sympathy. After all, this is the closest person he has to a friend in this strange, foreign world. But then the moment is gone just as quickly as it had appeared, almost as if he hadn’t happened at all.

“You wound me Jaebummie. Look, his hands are still restrained. This way he won’t stab us when our backs our turned.” He says it lightly, easily, with all the practice of someone who inserts truth in his lies all the time; and the moment is gone, the focus has turned back to Jinyoung. He had been so distracted during this whole affair he hadn't realized the noise upstairs had become eerily quiet. He wonders if Jackson's other "friends" took care of the rest. 

Jackson smiles at him, “Come with us. We’re going somewhere safe.”

With the sentence directed at him, for the first time during this whole exchange, Jinyoung is reminded that he can actually speak. Soaked and exhausted and starving, in a place he doesn't know and probably miles and miles from home; Jinyoung finds his voice again.

“How do I know you won’t kill me?”

Jaebum sighs as he leans against the open cell doors, seemingly resigned to the reality that Jackson has won this argument, “Oh we’ll definitely kill you, but only if you try and kill us first. We’re your best chance kid.”

“Unless of course, you prefer the alternative?” Jackson adds with a grin. 

This is a story of destiny, but this is also story of choice.

Jinyoung doesn’t reply, but follows as they approach the stairs. When Jaebum opens the hatch door, Jinyoung is blinded by the sun he hasn't seen in days. He walks with shaky legs, and the three of them step out into the sunlight.


	2. the rising son (sun)

_“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” -Steve Maraboli_

 

* * *

 

Jinyoung’s first memory is of locked doors.

Three years old. Chubby hands still laced with baby fat. Reaching for the golden knob. The light around him is hazy and sleepy and warm, like a summer afternoon. His little feet go up, up, up on his heels as he cranes his neck to try and grab the elusive escape. Then another hand, firm and weathered, tough. Knocking his own away. He begins to cry as he feels himself being lifted up, the door is slipping away from him. A stern voice against dark eyes, that stays with him even now.

“Jinyoung, there are reasons why doors are closed. Do not touch them again.”

Those eyes that voice and those hands, he would realize as he grew older, belonged to his father. To some, the one and only king, to most, the mad king. Not that Jinyoung would know that. As a child he saw his father very little, he was mostly occupied with planning against the war on magic and Jinyoung would solemnly nod from afar as he listened to the king’s speeches with the rest of the castle.

So to Jinyoung he was not a father, not really. He was much more of an elusive concept. A stranger wearing a familiar face. A ghost half formed; blurred and fuzzy around the edges. He was not his sisters and mother, who were there for skinned knees and book reading and childhood games. Nor was he there for lost teeth or growing taller. Even they, however, could not always be there. They were royalty and they were older, they all had their own responsibilities they must attend to.

He is ten when his father puts him in his first combat lesson.

His teacher is a big, hulking mass of a man named Yoonseung. He was a young soldier during the seven years of chaos, and it had shaped him and scarred him into the powerful force that he was now. There was a long ugly scar across his left cheek that upturned his face into a gruesome half smile. He had the kind of presence that made children in the palace squeal when he walked by and whisper behind their hands tall tales; like when chickens were too loud Yoonseung would break their necks or when doors were locked he would rip them off their hinges.

Yoonseung was not a bad man, but he was a persistent one. And he had trained Jinyoung’s oldest sister Minsun, who had grown into a fierce fighter with eyes of steel. His second sister Jihee was more of a diplomat, and he was much closer to her than Minsun; but Jihee was still quite capable when she had an archers bow in hand. So Yoonseung was certainly expecting the king’s only son to live up to the standards his siblings had set, and he was painfully aware of the ways in which he fell short. He tried for years to get Jinyoung to focus on learning the ways of fighting. To learn how to destroy and to maim and to kill, but Jinyoung could never excell. No matter how many hours were put into their lessons, the result was never what the king wanted. Jinyoung was off balance, he was clumsy and indecisive and noncommittal. He shined in battle strategy, but when it came to actually picking up a blade; he just could not do it.

Some days, after hours and hours of failed practice, Jinyoung would listen to the conversations they had when they thought he wasn’t listening. Or perhaps they were conversations  they had when they _knew_ he was listening.

“He’s too soft sire. That is the only reason he can not develop. He refuses to hurt things, I cannot make better someone so weak.”

“Keep trying. His mercy will get him killed. He is not Minsun or Jihee, he is my only son. This is what he must become.”

Jinyoung had felt his eyes grow damp when he had heard these words. He had run as fast as his legs could carry him to the library and cried and read his books until the pages were wet and tear stained. Hours later, it was his mother who had found him and had set him on her lap and hugged him tight.

“I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment.” He whispered against the soft silk of her robes.

It took her awhile to reply, but when the words came they came like a flood; all at once. “I lost my first son Jinyoungie. I thought all hope was gone. But then you came, like a miracle. Like a sign from the Heavens themselves. So if my son wants to read books as long as he lives, or if he wants to tend sheep until he dies or teach school children or care for the elderly or whatever other thing makes his heart sing: that that is what he shall be.”

She took his cheeks between her hands and pressed their foreheads together as she murmured, “Never apologize for your gentle soul. The person you are meant to be, whether or not they are a fighter, will be incredible.”

But Jinyoung was young, and no matter how much his mother reassured him; there was only one opinion he really cared about.

“Father hates me, doesn’t he mother?”

“No,” She sighs, hand running circles across his back, “Your father is a...complicated man Jinyoung. But he always does what’s right, in the end. Trust his judgement, I always have.”

It is not until much, much later that Jinyoung realizes that his mother was lying to him.

 

* * *

 

Jaebum loves the forest during this time.

This is the time where the air is warm and soft, but not chokingly so. That wonderful inbetween before the sun bakes the earth, but after the ice and snow has melted. It's a time of rebirth and growth and the ground itself thrums gently with that energy. With the green of the trees and the tranquility of the air as he walks, he feels his runes itch. Times like these make him feel more connected to nature than ever, and it makes his magic grow antsy as they long to reunite with the power which made them.

The new kid, of course, breaks his moment of peace.

“Can we please take a break?”

Jaebum’s jaw tightens as the boy’s voice penetrates his ears again. He wonders if he shall contend with Jackson for who can manage to bring up the more pointless drivel. The thought makes him feel guilty for it's dig at Jackson, but he pushes it away in favor of his bad mood. He turns and observes the prince, who is panting and red faced as they walk at the brisk pace that Jaebum has set. The boys clothes are torn and blood stained- he makes a mental note to get him new clothes when they arrive and tries to find his serenity again. He wishes that they did have time to stop, because some meditation would do him and his restless runes wonders.

“Unless you want the Zamirian’s to catch up to us, then no. We must keep going.” Jackson says cheerily, humming a whistle under his breath.

Jaebum feels his eye twitch in annoyance, he had gotten much too little sleep for this, “If you’re the so called prince, would you not have been trained in stamina of _some_ kind so you could walk a few paces without tiring?”

The prince’s retort was surprisingly wry and self deprecating, in a way that Jaebum wouldn’t expect royalty to be and way that makes him feel another pang of guilt, “I was largely inept in the finer arts of physicality, I’m better with books and strategy.”

“Well-” Jaebum mutters, “books won’t do you much good out here.”

(He hears Jackson make a soft warning noise behind him and he scowls. He knows the other boy well enough to know that as soon as they get back to camp Jackson will give him hell for his attitude to this newcomer. And will probably do so in a manner largely inappropriate for Jaebum’s position over him as someone older and technically his leader. But Jackson is a foreigner to this land, and he loves using that as an excuse to ignore the important rules of respect and rank that Jaebum so ardently follows. Any other person and he would not let them speak to him in the way he knows Jackson inevitably will, but he has known the man since he was merely a child. And he is mature enough to admit that he lets Jackson get away with far more than anyone else ever could.)

Apparently the mutter was loud enough to hear, “Well, then you’ll return me right? Back to the kingdom?” He pauses, “I will make sure you’re paid handsomely for your cooperation, especially since you saved me from that place.”

“Let’s not discuss that now, wait until we get back to camp.”

The grass squelches as they walk and the mud ruins the coverings on his feet, the rains must have come early to this part of the forest. Jaebum carefully watches the grass to see any fresh footprints and absently scratches his arms; tuning out his runes whispering. They’re getting close now, the terrain becoming more familiar to him.

He hears something.

“Well can you at least tell me where that is? I’d been asleep for days and I-”

This kid is going to get them all killed. Jaebum makes them all halt, and sees Jackson standing stock still and listening intently. They lock eyes. He heard it too.

“Shhh. Shut up.” He says to him, who is remaining largely oblivious to what is happening around him.

“Listen clearly you don’t like m-” The boy’s eyes grow wide as Jaebum’s hand clamps tight around his mouth- stopping his speech before it can even start.

Jaebum hisses through clenched teeth, “This isn’t about you. Now. Shut. Up.”

A figure bursts through the bushes, making a grand entrance of flying leaves and twigs before rolling gracefully through the grass. Out of reflex and practice, Jaebum has him up against a tree with a hand to his throat before he even registers who it is.

He hears Jackson stifle a laugh behind him, and he realizes why.

“Ah, they make their triumphant return. Lucky I wasn’t a more unsavory character, eh?” The man against the tree gasps out.

The person in front of them resembles a serpent with his sharp features and sultry eyes, and would look threatening to a stranger. But Jaebum sighs in relief, and sees the softness in the features as he gently sets him down and clasps a hand in greeting.

“Welcome back sir. A man can’t even come out to greet his friends without getting the life choked out of him.” He says as he rubs at his abused throat.

“Thank you Bam. Sorry about that.” Jaebum nods.

“And Jackson!” Bam says clapping him on the back as the other winces, “I heard you got yourself captured! By the Zamirians no less! I will say, that’s a little embarrassing.”

Jackson’s eyes narrow, “Bambam I swear to god if you tell any-”

“Tell anyone? Who? Me? Tell anyone that the great silver tongue Jackson got himself captured by the most basic, mediocre, talentless group of neanderthals our great adoptive country has ever known?”

Jackson opens his mouth to say something but before he can Bambam raises a finger to the others lips.

“Well, I’d say to whomever worries: you needn’t worry my brother. I didn’t say a word.”

“Thank you.” Jackson sighs.

A smirk returns to Bam’s face, “Now, if I happened to shout my surprise and shock at this frankly, dismal, situation my poor, dear friend had gotten himself into, and it just so happened to be loud enough for those within range to hear. Well that isn’t my fault at all, I don’t believe.”

“Bam I swear to the fucking moon-” Jackson curses as he tackles him. The pair wrestle on the ground, kicking up dust and grass as the go. Although Jackson was sturdy, Bambam was small, and he wriggled around trying to escape Jackson’s grasp as the new boy looked on in fascinated horror; Jaebum watched the scene and can't help but smile despite the tiredness in his bones and the aching in his head.

He hears a groan of pain as Bambam lands a well place placed kick and he turns to the prince, taking in his wide eyes, “Don’t worry. That’s how they show affection, come on. We’re home.”

 

* * *

 

The clan of the lost was originally just Jaebum and Jackson.

Two young kids making up silly names in the darkness of the trees. Back when it was simple, back when it was not easy; but it was still comfortable. Back when they had families and lives outside of the forests and the knives and the fighting.

But then that went away, as everything eventually does.

And it wasn’t all bad, over the years they gained many friends. Youngjae and BamBam. Namjoon and Seokjin. Jooheon and Changkyun and Hyunwoo. They gained fighters and healers and spies. Gained enemies and allies across the land. And suddenly they had made a name for themselves. Suddenly, the pair of kids that had defended the village elders when a tax collector was too rough became the freedom fighters of the outerlands. The saviors and the defenders of those that were weaker. The king hated them for their insolence, but he hated them more for another reason. They were a secretive group, but the kingdom had heard whispers of a group that allowed their members to freely practice magic. A group where magic was not only allowed, but encouraged. And at the helm stood Jaebum.

He never asked to be a leader.

In some ways, he had always assumed it’d be Jackson. Jackson with his charisma and charm and natural ability to make people listen. But Jackson also had a heart of gold, he put trust in people too easily, and got much too hurt when that trust was misplaced. Jaebum loved him for his faults, but they were faults for a reason. Also, Jackson was just a flightly person. He preferred leaving for his missions, and could be gone for days or weeks at a time gathering information. Jaebum tended to stay with the rest of the group much more often, except in the case of emergencies.

And he supposes they kind of reached their own balance. Jackson was the communicator, the face of the group. But Jaebum was the one who had to make the hard decisions, who had tell the bad news and who had to keep people in line. Where Jackson was friends with everyone that they worked with, Jaebum had to keep his distance. Attachments just made it all the more difficult, and although he was proud of every single person that dedicated themselves to them, he could not show it openly. He learned to be the cold one, and it was a title he now clung to.

All Jaebum ever wanted was a place where he could be safe, and where the people he loves could be safe too. And now, with the plans he was making, he would finally find the start of that ending. Even better, the perfect opportunity fallen into his lap. The prince, maybe. If he played his cards right, this could change everything. A complete finding by chance, by fate, that now could be the means to everything he’d been wishing for years.

He will not fail, he will not fail, he will not fail.

 

* * *

 

As Jinyoung sits in the man’s, Jaebum's, tent he can’t help but think that he’d expect it to be a little more decorated. Jaebum has explained that his clan were nomad, never staying in one place, but rather traveling every few weeks to move on to the next area that needed help, and also to avoid any rival groups that may want to take them down. So he supposes it makes sense, to have things that could be easily picked up and moved at a moment's notice. But even then, it was as though no one lived in this room at all. It felt so devoid of emotion that it made Jinyoung shift uncomfortably in his seat. There was only a desk, with a few maps and papers on it that Jinyoung didn’t dare read, two chairs, a bed and a small wardrobe. The only semi personal thing were the two swords and knife lovingly placed to the side of the desk, the same ones that had shown blue when they had broken his chains. The knife had an inscription carved into the wood of the material and he leaned in closer to take a look.

“Sorry about the wait, I had to brief some people about the happenings of our rescue. Let’s get this over with.” Jaebum said as he walked into the tent, catching Jinyoung off guard. Jinyoung jumped in surprise at Jaebum’s entrance, and twisted around in his chair to look at him. The other man was changed out of his armor now, wearing a simple black tunic and leggings to match. He still carried around with him an aura of power and capability that made him appear untouchable.

So when he kneeled in front of Jinyoung, it made him swallow harshly in uncertainty. But he didn’t dare ask what Jaebum was about to do as he again eyed the weapons that were so close to them. His arms weren't bound anymore, they hadn't been for most of the walk over. But he still felt the weight of what chains around his wrists had felt like, and he could say with certainty he never wanted to feel it again.

“Alright, stay still. I want to see if you were telling the truth. This won’t hurt.”

Jaebum carefully took his wrist in his palm and closed his eyes, his face was tight in concentration. Jinyoung wanted to flex his fingers at the gentle touch but tried to remain still even if the contact made goosebumps rise in his skin. It wasn't until he saw the wisps of blue light escape Jaebum's fingertips that Jinyoung realized exactly what was going on.

He flinched away with a yelp, falling backwards off of his chair and trying to quickly scoot away as his mind raced with what this meant. Jaebum looked surprised, but didn’t make a move to get closer to him. His face remained passive and his posture relaxed, as though this happened all the time.

Jinyoung wanted to yell for help or grab a weapon or run away but he could hardly form any words. He managed to choke out, “You...you have _magic._ You’re a magician. You have magic. You were using magic on me.”

“I do. I am. I was.” Jaebum replied calmly, still unmoving from his kneeled position next to his desk.

“What were you doing to me? What spell was that?”

“It was just simple detection. I just wanted to make sure your royalty mark was real. I was trying to sense if magic had been used on you recently. That’s all. If I was doing something harmful you would’ve felt it.”

“Oh yeah?” Jinyoung said hysterically, “And what did it tell you?”

“That you are actually who you said you are. Nice to meet you Prince Jinyoung, I'm Jaebum. Are you gonna get up off your ass now?”

Jinyoung carefully stood back up, moving to the chair he’d been sitting in quietly. Jaebum seemed to regard him warily.

“Listen. I don’t know what you’ve been told about magic, but I’m not here to hurt you. I have a proposition for you actually.”

“What kind of proposition?” How could this man, this magician with the power of gods at his fingertips, have a proposition for _him_?

“My clan largely stays to the outerlands, traveling back and forth as we're needed, but in the upcoming times we are headed to the inner city. The capital. I have reasons that we must approach there.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“I want you to live under my ranks, learn the ways of my people as we travel towards the capital for my business. Once we approach, I’ll let you go back to your kingdom and your life unharmed.”

“Why not just hand me back now, why waste time and resources on me when you can be rid of me sooner?”

“One, because you’re very far out from the capital, so finding a kings guard here that could get you home in one piece and also insure I get my payment would be difficult. Two, I have never been to the capital, and once we get closer having someone who knows those areas will be of use to me. Also, supply and demand. The longer you are missing, the more your family will want you back and the higher the price for you goes up.”

“So what? I’m a pawn?”

“Not a pawn, simply leverage. And in return I’ll give you skills, protection, shelter.”

“And how do I know I won’t be betrayed?”

“Because I’m leverage too. You now know what I am, what I can do, reveal my power to anyone in the cities and they will have me executed. I could be a hefty prize for your father if you brought back a magician. Not to mention knowledge of my people and the things we do. As much as you’re trusting me, I’m trusting you too.“

Jaebum waited a moment before speaking again, “Understand that out here, in a land without law and without order, being in our circle is a valuable thing. We’re a brotherhood, we take care of eachother. This can be beneficial for us both.”

“Okay. How long would this be?”

“Three seasons at most.”

“That’s a long fucking time.”

Jaebum raises his eyebrows at the curse word, "Like I said, that is at most. With no complications, we can make it there sooner. It just depends, I can’t see into the future. My people are used to moving, but we can’t go directly there. I need to make stops along the way.”

Jinyoung had his brows furrowed as his mind tried to make sense of all this, “I’ve never met a magician in person before.”

“Yeah? What do you think so far?”

 _Why are you so normal_ is what comes up first in his mind, but he does not say it aloud. He had expected his first meeting with a magician to be different. He expected them to be a monster of a human, a man with claws or fangs for teeth or spikes sprouting from his back or something equally wrong in nature. He had been warned over and over again of the perverse and wrong ways that the magic inside magicians manifested, of the wrongness that was so inherent in their very existence.

_They are poisonous, inside and outside._

And yet. Here Jaebum was. And Jinyoung was afraid of him, because he was intimidating and fierce and mysterious; but he was not instantly maiming him as he had expected a magician to do. He was not a terrifying monster, but rather a serious and level headed man; offering him a reasonable deal.

And he supposes, at the core of it, he hadn’t expected a magician to be so beautiful.

He does not say any of this, but instead blurts out, “Are you all normally so scary?”

Jaebum has a straight face as he says, “No, that just happens to be a talent of mine.”

And Jinyoung is not sure, but he thinks that Jaebum might have just made a joke. Magicians can make jokes too, who knew.

Joke or no joke, Jaebum hurries the conversation along, “So do we have a deal? For the terms that I have laid out, I cross my heart on the life of a magician that I will upkeep them.”

That makes Jinyoung draw in a sharp breath. He has been taught to fear magicians, and the royal library; with all it’s thousands upon thousands of books, had very very little information on magicians aside from the negative ones. But he has also read enough to know the significance of that phrase. Words have a lot of power in magic. By swearing on his life, this was a serious vow, a serious promise.

Jinyoung weighed his options. He was exhausted, mentally and physically, and so far everyone he had met here was better than any of those people he had been imprisoned with before. The plan that Jaebum had said seemed to make sense, and he could always run away once he had more strength. Right now; he just needed a safe bed to sleep in. He could not see a better way out, so he took a deep breath, sent a prayer to the sky, and spoke.

It was only right to reply to a promise of Jaebum’s severity with one of his own, “I cross my heart on the life of the king.”

Jaebum nodded, “You made the right decision Jinyoung, you will not find a deal so good in a land like this.”

Jinyoung suddenly realized he was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open, the excitement of the past few hours finally catching up to him, “Can I please go rest now?”

“Of course, I’ll call Jackson to show you to your room.”

But before Jinyoung could walk out, Jaebum grabbed his arm again to pull him back.

“One last thing, this is important,” Jinyoung nods to show he’s listening, “No one can know who you are. Absolutely no one, not even within our clan. Except for me and Jackson, you must carefully hide your identity. Most of the folk won’t know a royalty mark like we did, but even then you must keep it covered.” Jaebum released his arm and turned away from him to rustle around in his drawers. He eventually pulled out a black bandanna similar to his own, and tied it quickly around Jinyoung’s arm where his mark of royalty stayed hidden under the cloth of his shirt.

“This is the sign of our people, they will know you are with us when they see you wearing it. Tell Jackson to get you some changes of clothes.”

“Thank you. What will I say when people ask of where I came from?”

“From here on out, you’re common folk. No servants, no guards, you’re all on your own. An orphan that Jackson befriended in captivity. Before they died you had farmer parents on the outskirts of the capital. A nobody.”

“What about my name? Won’t that give me away?”

Jaebum looked puzzled at the question, “Do you not know?”

His look of confusion must have been answer enough, as Jaebum continued speaking after a moment of silence.

“Many common people named their children Jinyoung when you were born. An unfated son came into the world and defied the heavens. You were a miracle to them you know? So they named their children the same thing in hope they’d have miracles too.”

Later, as Jinyoung finally got to sleep without chains for the first time in many days, he thought about that phrase again.

A miracle? Jinyoung?

He’s always only ever been good at letting people down.

 

* * *

  

Lark Troisness, leader of the Zamirians, was in a very bad mood.

He sat in his chair, which strained under his weight. The brown leather had been crafted by someone in the capital city, and it was one of the most prized possessions that Lark owned. But as it ages, it seems to be struggling to keep him contained in it. So not only was there a shortage of ale in their village, and his chair was failing, but two of his prisoners had gotten away and many of his men were dead. All in all, a complete disaster of a day, and he was in no frame of mind to have a reasonable conversation.

“So tell me again: how did they get away?” He asked, his beady eyes zeroing in on one of his men, the unlucky man was tall and pale with a sad tuft of blond hair clinging to his head, and he watched as a bead of sweat dropped under his collar. 

The questioned tried to act tough in his words, “It was those fucking idiots from Im Jaebum’s clan.”

Im Jaebum. The masked magician, the pain in his and every single person trying to do some goddamn business in the outerland's ass. He was notorious for sticking his nose where it didn't belong, and trying to change the way that the outerlands have worked now for years. There are some things that should not be altered, for people are too stuck in their ways, and this world that they live in is one of them. The magician was a fool for trying to think differently. 

Another member piped up, "They came and broke their member out, the one with the big mouth and pretty face, and also took that other boy. The scrawny one.”

“That was precious cargo we had, I was supposed to deliver that beanpole to the requester in two days time and now he’s fucking gone. All because of Im Jaebum and the complete failure of my men.” Lark knew his voice was rising, and saw the men before him shrink back in fear. Good.

“But my lord," One of them whispered, "how did he even end up here?”

“The man that broke him out from the capital dropped him off with us while he finished up some business. He was a scary looking one too, could definitely tear some heads right off their shoulders, and now you have to tell him that you lost his prisoner?” 

“I lost him? Why me?” Blondie is speaking again. Definite and whiny, it grates on his ears. That was a mistake.

“Because,” Lark growled, his hand tight around his axe, “I certainly didn’t do it.”

It was unfortunate, because his lacky could no longer do the talking for him considering he was now without any teeth. But Lark had had a bad day, and if he could not have a glass of ale and his chair was unsatisfying, well then breaking teeth would just have to do.

 

* * *

  
The first time that Jinyoung has a knife thrown at him is two days after they reach the camp of the lost.

He’s walking out of the meal tent with Jackson and his friend Namjoon, he had met Namjoon the day prior when Jackson had been given him a tour of the various tents and people. Namjoon was a philosopher at heart, and Jinyoung had been immediately drawn to the books and papers he had had strewn around his workspace. He had had many interesting things to say, and they had apparently read a lot of the same things so conversation with him had been easy and natural. Jackson and him appeared to already be quite close, and since Jinyoung didn’t know anyone else yet he was sticking near the pair. The three of them were just leaving when a knife had whistled straight past Jinyoung’s nose, just barely missing skin, only to embed itself into a nearby tree.

“Looks like you’ve been summoned.” Namjoon laughed, looking disturbingly unfazed at the fact that Jinyoung had just narrowly avoided a _knife._

Jinyoung looked at him incredulously, “By who? Can’t he just call my name like a normal person?”

He had asked who, but there was only one person he could think of who would do something like that.

He had walked up to Jaebum with the knife in hand, “Has anyone ever told you you’re a show off?”

Jaebum had raised his eyebrows and denied Jinyoung's attempt to return the knife he had thrown. He had explained that he wanted to train Jinyoung so he would be able to properly fight if necessary.

“Isn’t it a little silly to give your captive a weapon?” He had asked.

“Oh yeah sure, think about it. You escape. You are all alone with little combat skill, no money, and no clue where you are. In a land full of people hoping to find and murder you for the right price or even better; for no price at all! Sounds like a perfect plan.” Jinyoung was starting to learn that Jaebum’s favorite brand of humor was sarcasm laced with a good natured stoicness. At least he thinks it’s good natured, but he’s still not quite sure.

“Okay fine, I get it. You’re right there. But what about when I get stronger huh? Aren’t you worried I’ll be a threat?”

Jaebum scoffed, “Understand this Jinyoung. No matter how good you may or may not become. You can not and will never, ever best me in a fight.”

“Why? Because you have magic?”

“No,” Jaebum smiled, “Because I’m a better fighter.”

And that was that.

 

* * *

 

“Back again?” Youngjae says with a grin as he sees Jinyoung walk into the infirmary. He has a hand to Bam’s face which has a nasty cut alongside his forehead. Jinyoung can see the wound slowly closing as Youngjae directs his magic to stitching the skin back together.

“Yeah.” He grumbles in response, holding his arm up to his face to try and staunch his own blood that is running down his chin and over his lips. The taste invades his tongue- salty and bitter.

“Can you get Kihyun or Nayeon to help you? I’m just finishing up with Bambam right now.”

“I heard my name! Let me see the damage.” Kihyun calls as he walks through the door, grabbing Jinyoung’s jaw with a soft hand to turn his face and take a look at his swollen nose.

After a few moments of hmm-ing he says, “Well, I don’t think it’s broken. It shouldn’t need Youngjae’s healing, just a bandage from your average human over here.” And he rummages around in the medics various bags and drawers spread out across the floor and tables.

Inwardly, Jinyoung sighs in relief. It’s been a fortnight since he started living in this place and he still hasn’t got quite used to being around magic. Seeing it sometimes is one thing, but having it done to him still freaks him out. As much as he likes the young healer Youngjae, he would prefer the pain of his injuries over the risk of magic any day. Still, he hadn’t even known before meeting Youngjae that such a thing as healer magicians existed. He had learned as a child that all a magician would do is destroy. So seeing one like him, so good and so kind; using his abilities to _fix_ things, was beyond strange. But, he thought, it was not unwelcome.

Jinyoung had begun to realize the world outside the walls of the castle was vastly different than what he had been told.

“So I assume training is going well?” Kihyun asks as he carefully blots some of the blood off his face with the supplies he had located.

“Oh, just peachy. Can’t you tell?” Jinyoung says it sarcastically, but he actually does enjoy training. He likes training with Jaebum because it gives him something to do other than be homesick and afraid of the future. At least, focusing on practicing keeps him busy and preoccupied and not thinking about all the terrifying ways his world is changing and expanding.

“Don’t worry,” Bambam says, “Every fighter here has gone through the Jaebum special at least once. We’ve all been there Jinyoungie.” He can’t focus on his friend’s words because the pet name makes Jinyoung’s heart clench as he thinks of his mother’s voice, but he swallows down the emotion quickly.

Kihyun finishes patting down the bandage over Jinyoung’s nose, and finishes it off with one final tap for good measure before sending him off with a “Can you tell Jaebum not to punch you in the face so hard? We only have so many bandages.”

Jinyoung shakes his head with a smile as Bambam and Youngjae snicker behind him.

 

* * *

 

Jackson watches silently as the boys fight; they had set up camp right next to the crumbling ruins of a long past civilization of druids. He was no magician, but the air here felt different; almost as though it was crackling with an untold kind of energy. The druids were powerful people before they had all been slaughtered, and he wonders if there was any magic left to be felt from them. He would have to ask Jaebum later, but the other is preoccupied at the moment; Jinyoung had just give him a successful parry to his offensive attack. 

He rests his back up against the stone and remains so quiet he doubts that Jinyoung even realizes he’s here. Jaebum on the other hand, can probably sense his presence. No matter how good Jackson is at his job, both at being invisible and also being loud enough to entertain the entire room, Jaebum has always been able to see through him. No magic needed.

The pair fight, and to an outsiders perspective it would look as though Jaebum was winning easily, but Jackson is not an outsider. He sees the way that Jaebum has to think about his movements, if for only a second, he sees that it is not automatic as it so often can be with other fledging fighters. Although Jaebum is still completely in control of the situation, Jinyoung is definitely making him work a little bit. He watches as they spar a few more times, before Jinyoung eventually taps out and goes to take a break inside the meal tent.

As soon as he’s out of sight, Jaebum beelines to where Jackson is sitting. Unsurprisingly, Jaebum _had_ noticed that Jackson was back.

“He gets better rapidly. Just in the few days I’ve been gone I see the improvement.” Jackson says as Jaebum moves to sit down beside him against the wall.

It’s true, every day that Jinyoung is here Jackson sees him assimilate more and more into this place. Wearing the clothes they wear with a sword against his side and his bandanna around his shoulder; he looks as though he’s always belonged with them. And now that his skills with a blade are improving, it only serves to further that truth. Sometimes, Jackson forgets who his true identity even is. He wonders if Jinyoung does too, or if it’s all part of the role that he is playing.

“He is, very talented, yes.” Jaebum says absently, pulling out his knife to begin cleaning it.

“Come on. Don't pull the disinterested act with me. You like him.” Jackson says, turning to look force Jaebum to look him in the eye.

“No. I see...potential in him Jacks. He could be great, greater than even he realizes.”

“No, you liiiiiiike him.” Jackson teases, pushing Jaebum with his shoulder.

“How is it we are only a few months apart in age yet you are so lacking in maturity?” Jaebum deadpans, but his eyes are smiling.

“Come on Jae, you know you love me.”

“No. I do like _you_ though.” The corners of his mouth have raised in the tiniest of smiles to match his eyes.

They sit in silence for a moment, just enjoying the others company. Jackson always forgets how much he misses the other's presence until he’s been away for awhile. But they can only enjoy it for so long before they must get to business again, and that comes when Jaebum asks, “So, how was the mission?”

Jackson’s face immediately falls serious.

“We were right, there’s no way the Zamirians could have broke him out of the castle.”

“So then who did?”

“That’s the thing. No one knows. I don’t even think _they_ know.”

“So then how did he end up with them?” Jaebum’s eyes crinkle around the edges as he thinks.

“That’s the thing, they were just a placeholder. He was only supposed to be there for a few days before whoever got him out was coming to pick him up; I don’t think they even knew who he was.” Jackson grimaces as he remembers how he'd gotten that information. The poor soul had barely been able to speak, his mouth so destroyed from the brutal punishment he had got. He had seen a lot of things throughout the years, but the ache in his heart he felt seeing such cruelty never became less sharp. 

Jaebum, meanwhile, takes in his words, “Hmmm. I see.”

“It makes sense though, the prince is kidnapped and the entire country is on high alert. But no one would expect the prince to be in the prison’s of one of the weakest clans of the outerlands. It was the perfect disguise.”

“So what did they want with him? Whoever took him away.”

“Well isn’t it obvious? Money. He’s the only son of the king, Jaebum.”

“I just feel like that’s a lot of work for just money. I don’t know Jackson, something about this whole thing feels off.”

“Should I investigate further?”

“No, leave it for now. Jinyoung is working with us, and he’s safe here where no one knows who he is. Whoever wanted him couldn’t have been good.”

“He’s lucky,” Jackson said absently, “That he ended up with his us. Fate works in mysterious ways, but I’m glad we found him.”

“He’s a man Jackson, not a puppy we found in the woods.” Jaebum sighs. 

“I know, but he’s a good person, and is proving to become a capable fighter. Attachments or no attachments you can’t lie and say he isn’t becoming a valuable member.”

“Well he’s not a member yet.”

“He’ll pass the trial.” Jackson says smugly, “I have faith in him.”

“We’ll see.” Jaebum replies.

His eyes look into the distance, but Jackson gets the impression Jaebum's head is much further away than that. He wonders when the last time his friend slept properly, wonders when the last time he meditated properly was. He wishes, desperately, he could help take all that weight he sees resting on Jaebum's shoulders away. But he just leans his head on those strong shoulders and lets him be.

"We'll see." He repeats.

We'll see.

 

* * *

 

They’re taking a break, lying side by side in the grass. Jaebum had taken him out into a field nearby their camp to spar. Jinyoung’s muscles ache thanks to all the strain they’ve been under, but it is a welcome kind of tiredness. The kind that brings satisfaction into your bones as you feel the evidence of your progress. But he can’t relax, because there’s something that has been nagging at his mind for days.

“You know, my fighting tutor back home was called Yoonseung.”

“Really?” Jaebum replied as he sits up and takes a swig from his water pouch. Jinyoung pats him to indicate he wants some too, and Jaebum passes it over.

“For years," He says, pausing to swallow, "They tried to teach me how to fight, and I never could do it. They said I was too soft.”

“And why do you bring this up?”

“I just- I’ve been thinking about it a lot when we practice and I just don’t get it Jaebum, I was never good at combat as a kid. But here, it’s coming more naturally than I ever thought possible.”

“I mean, there could be a lot of explainations for that.” Jaebum reasons, “It could’ve been you just weren’t ready. Or when you were young you never had a _reason_ to be good at it. Living in a castle didn’t give you much reason to be a good fighter. And you also have so much time out here, I imagine in the castle there are all kinds of distractions but here we can just focus on this. Perhaps you just needed a little push.”

“Ah, so kidnapping was the push I needed then?” Jinyoung joked.

Jaebum smiles, “Perhaps.”

“Do you remember what you told me during our first lesson?”

Jaebum’s eyes are closed, the grass feels so nice under him and it makes his runes sing. “Maybe. Remind me.”

“You said, we don’t fight to hurt. We fight to survive.”

“I did.” Jaebum replies, “And why does that matter?”

“When Yoonseung tried to teach me, he’d say I had to fight so I _could_ hurt. But it was not to defend my people, nor defend myself.”

“It sounds like he confused fighting for brutality.”

“I think he wasn’t a very good teacher.” Jinyoung says simply.

“So I am?”

“Perhaps.”

They get back to practice, but Jinyoung notices that Jaebum seems to be in an even better mood, even if he won’t say it.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Jaebum? May I speak with you?”

Jaebum makes a noise of acknowledge from across his desk but doesn't look up from the papers that he's reading.

“When can I go on a mission?”

Jaebum looks up at that.

“You..want to go on missions?”

“Well, it fits into my persona doesn’t it? I’m a member of the team so shouldn’t I contribute? Some days you’re all gone and it’s just the healers and I. And I, I want to help.”

Jaebum seems to mull over this answer for a bit.

“Okay. You’ll go after I think you’re ready.”

“When will that be?”

“After you complete the final test.”

Jinyoung nods, “I’ll beat it then.”

“Why so confident?”

He isn't confident. Not by a long shot. But Jaebum doesn't need to know that.

“Well, I have a good teacher.”

 

* * *

 

Today is the day.

“What if I’m not ready?” He asks Jackson, checking his armor for the tenth time in the last hour. His sword feels heavy against his side, and he shifts it distractedly. 

“The fact that it’s been created means that you’re ready Jinyoung. The trial is different for every person, Jaebum tailors it to whoever is taking it. You’re taking it _because_ you’re ready. You can do this.”

Jinyoung doesn’t entirely believe him, but he knows that Jackson means well so he doesn’t speak out against it.

"Just breathe. Remember your training and remember who you are. You’ll be fine, it’s only been one full moon cycle and you’re already one of the best fighters around.”

Jinyoung nods and takes a deep breath as Jackson leaves the tent. Whatever it is that Jaebum had planned, it couldn’t be too crazy because they were still at camp. Bambam had told the story of his trial, where Jaebum had suspended him in a tree and had him find his way down despite his fear of heights. Or he had heard another fighter Changkyun’s, who had had to run through a maze in the dark so he could rely on his instincts and senses. One of the worst was Jisoo’s; she had had to swim through a freezing river to prove she had the strength to withstand the current.

Seeing his eyes wide with horror, Jisoo had just smiled and said, “You can retake them as many times as you want, and Jaebum knows that there are some things people can’t do. If it really is out of the question for you, he would never make you do it. There is always a choice Jinyoung, always. Jaebum knows that.”

But Jinyoung wanted to impress them. Not only his teacher, but also his friends. He had to pass on the first try, no matter what it was.

He stepped out with his sword, it was a simple thing, one of the extra ones laying around camp; but he had had it all throughout training and it had treated him well. He gripped the handle tight and let his eyes take in his surroundings. His eyes widened in surprise. Out in the clearing where they sparred, there was a circle of all of the clan. Some faces now familiar, some still foreign; but they were all there. And in the center was Jaebum, with his armor and his sword.

"Come on Jinyoung, welcome to your trial.”

He walked confidently, but his palms were slick with sweat and it made his grip weak. As he got to Jaebum the opening in the circle closed, and he realized everyone was watching them. Watching him.

“I construct the trial based on what I think the person’s biggest weakness is. So I know they can work to overcome it and become a member of our group officially. You have the complete opportunity to take it again another time. If you can't do it, we can stop at any time. I want to push you, but I do not want to scar you. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I do."

Jaebum nodded then gestured to all the people watching them, "Jinyoung, your biggest weakness is yourself. Your insecurity and doubts get in your way, so you trial is to fight me and do it with the pressure of those around us watching as well. Get me to hit the ground before you have to withdraw and you pass. Don’t, and you fail.”

And then, it had begun.

They had been fighting now for a long time. The sun was wavering lazy and low in the sky, and he could tell the spectators were getting bored. Jinyoung was good at defending himself now, but he just couldn’t breach Jaebum’s barriers long enough to do enough damage to get him off balance. Like opposite ends of the same coin, they fought and they fought, and then they fought even more. The clanging of metal meeting metal happening again and again, endless. But then, like a blessing from the sky, Jaebum slipped.

Literally. He tripped, and he faltered for a second, and here it was. This was Jinyoung’s chance to turn the tides. To bring to the end this terrible stalemate. But then, something strange happened. Jinyoung froze. He looked at Jaebum’s face, at the vulnerable moment he was in, and he didn’t want to hurt him. Couldn’t.

He realized that in all their hours of sparring and practicing, he had never actually physically hurt Jaebum. Ever. Because Jaebum was too good for that to happen, and now that that was his goal. He didn’t want to do it.

It was like he was ten years old again during training with Yoonseung. He couldn’t do it.

So he dropped his sword. It hit the ground with a dull thud.

Jaebum didn’t look surprised, and a part of Jinyoung wondered if this was his actual test.

Jaebum didn’t look surprised, but he did look very angry.

He dropped his sword to, stuck it in the ground with such force it buried itself enough to stand straight up. He stalked up to Jinyoung, got in his face and said, “You must never hesitate, never doubt it. Your enemy could be anyone. A lover, family, it doesn’t matter.“ Jaebum pushes Jinyoung into the dirt hard and lands a kick to his ribs. It forces the breath out of him and brings reflex tears to his eyes. Through his blurred vision Jinyoung watches as drool trickles out of his own mouth and sees that it's tainted with a deep red. The other continues on, “So fucking fight me like you mean it. Like I _know_ you can.”

Jinyoung looks up at him, squinting through his already swelling eye, “But I don’t want to hurt you Jaebum.”

He’s hauled up by the collar of his shirt as he looks at Jaebum’s icy gaze, “Well that’s too bad, because I want to hurt you.”

It is the first time since he has known him, actually known him, that Jinyoung is genuinely afraid of Jaebum. He had forgotten that there were people watching them. It was deathly silent, not even the birds were singing. It was as though the entire universe were holding their breath, waiting to see what would become of these two.

“They were right about you,” Jaebum says it with his face twisted in an ugly sneer, but it's low enough that he knows it's only for him to hear “you’re too fucking soft.”

Jinyoung punches him before he even has time to think about it, the words triggering such a response in him that his reaction is startlingly automatic. The feeling of his fist connecting does not register right away, as though he is watching through another person's eyes. Jaebum goes sprawling on the ground.

It isn’t until their audience starts clapping that he realizes he just passed, and he promptly collapses onto the dirt.

As Jaebum picks himself up the ground, Jinyoung feels his head spinning. He looks at Jaebum and pants out, “It was never about my fighting ability, right? You knew I was good with a sword. You just wanted me to- you knew I would- you were just trying to get me to-”

Jaebum doesn’t reply, but he holds out a hand in invitation for him to stand.

“Jinyoung, rise.”

Jinyoung might be mistaken, but he swears there’s something like pride in his eyes. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Jackson give a thumbs up. 

“Welcome, Jinyoung. Welcome to the clan of the lost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you believe we're still just getting started? this is honestly so much fun to write
> 
> so who had jinyoung kidnapped? how did jackson and jaebum meet? what's going on back at the castle? what are jaebum's plans? only time will tell ;)
> 
> Please please please let me know your thoughts/questions/anything so far in the comments! and thank you for the kudos, it's all much appreciated!


	3. eclipse

_“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” -Mitch Albom_

 

* * *

Jaebum is twelve when he almost loses a hand.

The butcher has him up against the wall, pinned so there is no escaping. He is yelling, and Jaebum looks him defiantly in the eye. His hair is overlong and dirty, and some strands are caught painfully in the man’s fingers.

“How did you do that?

“I told you-” Jaebum gasps out, “it fell.”

“I saw you, you-you made that move with your hand, without even _touching_ it you made it move through the air.” The man says the next words thickly, as though the mere thought disgusts him, “I know what you are.”

“I’m not anything!” Jaebum replys fiercely, “I’m sorry I tried to steal but I swear I just knocked it over.”

He lets out a yelp of surprise as the butcher spins them around so he’s got his hands pinned to the table, and the man leaning over him. He watches as he reaches a hand behind him to grab one of the large knives hanging on the wall. Meant for slicing meat with ease, the metal glints with sharpness and Jaebum feels panic begin to rise in this throat.

“You know what magic is, right kid? It’s a disease, a sickness that spreads. It always starts in the hands.” The man tightens his grip on Jaebum’s wrists, “I’m doing you a favor and cleansing you of it right now.”

“No no no no sir please, I’ll never come back here again I swear, please just let me go.” Jaebum begs, trying to pull his hand away.

“I need to do this kid, we can’t have little boys who can move things with their hands out in this world.”

“Please, please, please no, I’ll die if I don’t have my hands, I need to look after my family please,” Jaebum is crying now, all the bravado from earlier gone at the sheer terror he feels, “I don’t have magic I swear.”

He struggles and struggles but can’t get loose. Because his hands are pinned he can’t use his power to get away. Jaebum is completely trapped. All he had wanted was to steal some food, his stomach grown concave and thin in these winter months, and now he would be dead by the time spring came without his hands.

Jaebum squeezes his eyes shut and feels his cheeks grow wet as he waits for the inevitable agony to come. But it doesn’t, and suddenly his hands are released. Tentatively he opens his eyes, and to his surprise the knife is now hovering in front of the butcher’s face. The man madly tries to grab it but the knife simply taunts him, moving in circles and dodging again and again just outside his grip. Toying with him. Jaebum blinks once, twice, three times. And the knife is still there, still hovering.

Confused, at first Jaebum thinks he’s doing it. He can’t comprehend another explanation. He tries in vain to move the knife away from both of them, but his hands are useless. He concentrates harder, tries to imagine the tiny tendrils from his fingertips reaching the knife and pulling it the way he wants, but it is as though a magnet is connected to it; too strong for him to break the connection.

Suddenly, an unknown force slams the butcher up against the wall and the man lets out a whimper as the knife follow suit; landing mere inches from the top of his head. Jaebum watches in awe as someone new walks through the door. They wear a long cloak that trails behind them like a shadow, and their face is almost entirely shrouded in darkness. It is as if they don’t even fully exist, but are more like a phantom. Jaebum feels as though he was doused with a bucket of ice water, every nerve set alight. He can _feel_ this person’s power, so strongly that it makes his heart race. And he has never met anyone else like him before, but he knows instinctively what this person is.

_They are a magician._

When the person speaks, the voice is silken and smooth and he thinks male, “Butcher’s who threaten little boys should not have voices to threaten with.” and with a twist of the wrist and his hand trained at the man; the magician does his work. The butcher starts making gurgling noises, his hands scrabble against where they are glued to the wall as though trying to reach for his own throat, and Jaebum realizes they stay at his sides because he can’t move them; this person is able to hold him there easily with just his eyes. The butcher is choking now, and when he coughs blood splatters across the floor, brilliant crimson. And all the while that hand stays pointing at his throat but never touches his skin.

“Stop!” Jaebum doesn’t realize his mouth actually formed the word until after it comes out of his mouth.

The figure turns to look at him, and he feels his heart pump madly as he catches a glimpse of cold, impassive eyes from under the hood of his cloak. Even with the magician’s eyes no longer on him, the butcher is still frozen to the wall. And Jaebum feels a detached, morbid kind of admiration for this being who can so easily and effortlessly wield their power.

“Why?” The figure says, devoid of emotion in a way that is unsettling to see, “He hates you. Hates what you are. He threatened you. You are but a child, and he would gut you like an animal if given the chance, with no hesitation or guilt.”

The butchers eyes have started bulging grotesquely out of his head, and his noises grow more and more desperate for every second that passes. Blood and saliva dribble out of his mouth and wet the floor.

“I know-I know, but you can’t do that. Please stop. Please.”

In an instant, he man falls to the floor with a hard thud and promptly passes out. Without thinking Jaebum runs over to check and see if he’s breathing, and by the time he looks up the mysterious figure is already gone.

He only stays long enough to make sure he’s alive then he leaves the man there and runs away. He never returns to this town, even years and years later he avoids it long after he knows the butcher must be dead.

This was the night that Jaebum met his master for the first time, but he didn’t know that yet.

 

* * *

 

Jaebum thinks about the man a lot in the time following the events at the butchers. The bitter cold ends and Jaebum had survived it. He’d been taking refuge in an old inn on the edges of the outerlands, where the kind innkeeper and his wife let him sleep in the stables and gave him scraps every night. It was good lodging, all things considered, and his body had begun regaining the fat it had lost during the harsh times of snow. Every time he practices magic, he thinks about the only other person he had met who shared that gift. Over and over again, he goes over the things he can do. He makes things move with little effort, but aside from that he feels as though he has no progress. He's heard of spellbooks, ways that magicians of old would be able to perform tasks far beyond what he could do, but with no instruction he had no idea how he could ever come close to anything other than what he can do now. If given the chance he'd do anything to find spells and study properly, learn the secret whisperings of magic they've tried so thoroughly to stamp out. But as far as Jaebum knew, most magicians were dead or dying.

Even out here, Jaebum knew the story: the king had a merciless campaign against magic after his son died. But his son’s sacrifice is what ended the seven years of chaos and then the heavens had given him another son as thanks for his pain. But the king could not let go of his grief, and his firstborn had died from magic’s hand, so now he was determined to eradicate it completely from the land. Jaebum personally thought this was unfair, because his magic had never hurt anyone, but sometimes when he remembered the emotionless eyes of that powerful man from that night; he understood a little of the king’s fear.

But still, this was the only other person he had ever met who had the same power he did, and he couldn’t help but wish sometimes that he could meet the man again. Ask him questions about how he was able to perform the things Jaebum had seen him do. Maybe then, he would be able to improve.

Eventually, Jaebum got his wish.

He was drinking from a well, connected to the river that supplied the inn before he was going to retire for the night. It had been a long day, he'd done physical work all day to earn his keep in the stables and so he drank plentifully. When suddenly a burst of cold suddenly overcame the warm air of the night. Jaebum looked up in confusion and saw the black cloaked man seemingly melting from the trees; almost floating with his graceful movement. It was so surreal at first he thought he was dreaming, as he sometimes did of the man. 

“Hello, Jaebum.” The man had said.

"How do you know my name?” He asked, frozen in his tracks. But he knew it wasn’t the magicians doing, but rather his own fear that kept him rooted to his spot.

“Sometimes, I hear whispers. Your name has been all I’ve been hearing for quite some time.”

Jaebum didn’t know what that meant, but he did not have the courage to ask for more detail.

“Are you afraid child?” The man says.

“A little.” He whispered.

“But not just afraid?”

“No, I'm also curious, I haven’t met someone like me before.” Jaebum answers.

“Indeed, you are interesting. I see why they wanted me to find you so badly. You could be very powerful.”

“They? Could be?” He asked.

“Your magic right now is unstable, unconcentrated. You have all this power but no proper outlet, all this potential but no way to make it bloom.”

Jaebum's head spins at his words. He sees his future opening up to him; before he had a life condemned to thievery and a lowly existence. Who knows if he'd even survive to adulthood with the way that he lives now. But if his magic improves, if he has the power that this person does, he could be anything he wants to be. Could do anything he wants to do. He blurts out what has been on his mind since he first saw what the man was able to do, “So teach me! Please.”

His expression does not change, and Jaebum is sure that is because he already knew that he would ask, “The life of a magician is a dangerous one, Jaebum. There are many more butchers and many more knives out there who look to do people like us harm.”

“So? With magic, I could stop them. Right?”

“You’re better off staying the way you are. I just wanted to see you once more for myself, but it is time that I make my departure.” The man is leaving as he says this, walking away back into the trees where he came, and Jaebum sees his future blinking away. Sees a life of nothingness. He runs after him and calls out.

“I’m not better off! Please!”

No response.

“I’ll do anything!” He yells desperately. 

The man stops and turns.

“Anything?”

“Yes.” Jaebum pants, “I just want to learn, I want to fulfill my potential.”

“You would pledge yourself to me as my apprentice? Leave your family and all you know behind?” The man asks curiously.

“I don’t have family, not anymore.” Jaebum says quietly.

“That night, you said your family would starve if you lost your hands? Was that false?”

“If I had one, they _would_ have starved without my hands. It wasn’t technically a lie.”

There is no response, so he just keeps on talking, hoping he’ll eventually say the right thing to convince him.

“I have nothing. All I have is my magic. Teach me how to be great, how to control it. How to use it." He hesitates, "Teach me how to be like you.” 

The man reaches out a hand, and Jaebum takes it. 

“That, my child, I can do.”

 

* * *

 

The royal throne room was an expansive space; the marble floors caused people's shoes to click as they walked and the echo of them give the feeling of being small and insignificant  There were windows, but they were so far up the walls that it felt as though they weren't there at all, which gave the overall appearance of being trapped.

It was one of Jihee's least favorite places within the castle, it was cold both literally and figuratively, and whenever a child had to be in attendance Jinyoung and her would always fight over who had to do it. Her throat tightened as she relived the memory, and she thinks she would do anything to fight with Jinyoung now. She had taken for granted those moments, thinking they had all the time in the world to play and bicker. The king, their father, sat in his throne to her right. There were smaller thrones beside him where the rest of the royal family sat and today, they were all filled except for one. Minsun, the oldest sister. Back straight and eyes facing forward, she was not as close in age and Jihee and Jinyoung were. They only had a single amount of 4 seasons separating them in age, but she had almost six times that. That created a distance between them, and a bond in her and Jinyoung that had been there all of her life. She was the middle child, with her gentle smile and small stature. And the queen sat beside her. She was beautiful, though today her beauty was marred by the way that her brow was furrowed and jaw pinched tight as she listened to the latest report by the kingdom's knights. Jihee wanted to reach out and grab her mother's hand, but she knew that the women would not let her do that when they were being seen by the eyes of others.

One of them was speaking now, and Jihee remembered him as one of Jinyoung's personal favorite guards with his kind face and deep voice. He was young, but he spoke with the intelligence of someone well educated. Wonshik kneeled as he addressed the king, “My lord, our troops have extended to the edges of the outerlands and there is still no sign of him. It is as though he has entirely disappeared.”

“That’s impossible,” The king said coldly, and his tone made Jihee shudder, “I want my son found. It has been weeks and yet you still have nothing.”

"I'm sorry my lord, we are trying are best. But, sire, if we were supplied with more troops, we can go further into the outerlands."

"Would Jinyoung really be that far out?" Minsun questioned, "how would he even get there? Even by horse, that is still much too far to reach in this amount of time. It is a waste of resources.”

"You never know my lady, and at this point we are running out of options."

"I know how he could get there." The king said darkly, leaning forward in his seat with his chin in his hands. Wonsik glanced up for a second at his tone, but then quickly averted his eyes again.

"Magic. A magician has taken him."

"I already told you father, a magician couldn't get into the castle." Minsun argued, always the bravest out of the family to speak out against her father. She was also considered the favorite, murmured conversations between Jihee and Jinyoung had them both convinced that the king liked her the most for her talent in fighting and her capacity to be cruel when necessary.

"What other way is there to explain it? How else would my son be gone without a trace? Who knows how they are poisoning him, we must find him as soon as possible."

Privately, Jihee wanted to say that their father had never before cared or inquired about his son's well being before this kidnapping. And a dark part of her couldn't help but wonder if he cared so much that he was gone because he was his son, or because he could not be manipulated when he was outside the walls of the castle. And a _darker_ part of her thought that Minsun was trying to purposefully keep their brother lost, because if he did remain so the next in line would rightfully be her as the eldest child. But she kept those thoughts neatly tucked away inside her head, because she could not ever let herself voice them in their presence. The only person she had trusted with them was Jinyoung, and now he was gone. And her father and sister's initial reluctance to even _consider_ the outerlands as a possibility was so deeply frustrating it made her crazy. She knew her father secretly was probably fearful of the monsters that must surely roam there, but that is exactly why they must find her brother as soon as possible. She couldn't let them waste more time. So, she did something she rarely did, she spoke too.

"Father is right, there is a good chance magician's could be involved. They could be trying to get back at father for some reason."

Minsun shot her a venomous, betrayed look, but Jihee pretended not to notice. She could tell though that her father was affected, his fingers stroking his chin thoughtfully as he considered her words.

"My lord, as I said, we are trying our be-" Wonshik began before the king cut him off with a wave of his hand and the man snapped his jaw tightly shut.

"I will give you 50 more troops, travel to the outerlands and began searching there for the magician who might have done this. I don't care how or what you must do. Just have Jinyoung returned to me as soon as possible."

"Yes, my lord." Wonshik replied with a nod and a bow. Then he hurriedly got to his feet and left the room, the echos following him as he left.

Jihee watched him go quietly, and sent up a prayer. She liked to think she knew her brother better than anyone, and she knew that when he set his mind to it he could achieve great things but she had never imagined him on his own out there. They had always looked out for eachother, and now knowing that he was so far away and so far out of her protection, it felt like agony that only grew more intense the longer that he was not in her sights. But if she could not protect him out there, then the least she could do was remain here; as always the trusted dutiful daughter who heard and saw much more than she thinks any of them realize, and make sure that everything was being done to return him home.

_Just hang in there Jinyoungie, I'll find you. I promise._

 

* * *

 

Jaebum pulls his cloak tighter to him in an attempt to keep out the chill. The weather may be warming, but when the sun falls out of the sky the nights remain cold enough to chatter teeth. He had first gotten the sign about two days ago, when a black beetle had crawled its way across his desk. At first he had thought nothing of it, but by the fourth one he saw within an hour he knew that he was being summoned. This was confirmed when the communication rune on his wrist began stinging, and he was sure that he was being called. He was a good ways away from the camp by now, and figured this would probably be safe enough for tonight. Jaebum settled down with his back against the tree and put his arms around himself to try and conserve heat; he hoped this meeting would not take long, being back before sunrise would be ideal.

Jaebum is not kept waiting. He walks out of the trees, like a shadow. Not out of the trees in the sense that he came from the negative spaces where people normally would, but rather he quite literally walks out of a tree, as though he had phased right through it. As though he had come from inside it itself. His signature hooded covering gliding behind him. When he was younger, it used to terrify Jaebum to witness those suddenly appearances from the heart of the forest. But as he’s grown he has gotten used to his master’s elusive ways and frightening demeanor and he has even adopted them for himself in his own ways. He stands to greet the other man.

“Hello, master.” He says curtly with a nod.

“Hello, Jaebum.”

Jaebum doesn't say anything in response, instead waiting to hear why exactly he has been summoned to this meeting in the first place.

His master opts for small talk, “I see you’ve gained a new rune since we last met.”

Jaebum is definitely not believing that he hiked in the dead of night and bitter cold for a secret meeting to be asked about his runes, but he replies regardless “Yes, it is serving me well.”

“Your magic is quite restless, have you been mediating recently? Why are you so anxious, child?”

“I’ve been busy, master.” Jaebum says offhandedly.

“Could it...perhaps have to do with that new boy you’ve taken in?” The man says as casually has he ever could, which means that it was not at all casual.

_Ah, so that's what this was about._

“You’ve been watching me?” Jaebum asks.

“Just glimpses Jaebum, just glimpses. Your magic always calls to me.”

“It has nothing to do with him, master.” That's most certainly a lie, but he really does not need his master looking into his life closely. Not right now. Preferably not ever, but he knows he is not that lucky.

“So,” He says matter of factly, “housing the stolen crown prince causes you no stress?”

Jaebum knows his master wants a reaction out of him, and he refuses to give in. Jaebum also doesn’t bother asking _how_ he knew that, because he knows from experience he won’t give him a straight answer.

He really, really hates these meetings.

Jaebum replies calmly, “He is but another person to me, I met him by chance and am housing him out of sympathy. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“And you are still aware his father would have you hung in an instant? Would have you taken apart limb from limb? Would have you burned on a stake until you are nothing but ash?”

There is no more small talk, no more feigned casualness. This is much more what Jaebum was expecting.

“Thank you for the reminders, “ He replied dryly, “But I would not house someone so hateful. From the moment I met him I sensed his doubts in the kingdom and they have only grown the longer he stays, I assure you, he is not his father.”

His master counters, “I never said he was, but regardless, do you really think it is wise to give refuge to him, to let him into your circle when he could so easily destroy it?”

Jaebum feels defiance rise in him, that desperation to prove himself coming out as easily and passionately as it did when he was young, “Are you doubting my abilities master? I would implore you to remember that I have not disappointed you thus far.”

“I am not doubting you no, but rather reminding you.”

Jaebum remains quiet at that, sensing that the other has more to say. No matter how old he is, or how tall he grows, conversations with this man always make him feel small.

“You are not a common person on the street Jaebum, and neither is he. Do not let your feelings get in the way of your people. Not when they are not worth the risk. Do not forgot who you are, or  who he is. He is an asset, nothing more. Do not let yourself be compromised.”

“I know master. I am not a child anymore.”

“Then prove to me that fact. Remember your position, and stop lazing in fields beside him as though you are a child in a fantasy. You know better.” Jaebum ignores the flickering of anger in his gut at the knowledge that he was watched during moments like that. But he knows it is a fight he will not win.

“Yes master.”

“Good. I’m glad we discussed this, Jaebum.” His master smiles, it makes him feel dirty.

“Will you visit again soon?”

“We’ll see.”

Before he disappears into the trees, there is just one final blow, “Don’t forget Jaebum. You are second only to one, and I did not spend seasons honing your abilities to be such a powerful magician for you to throw it all away. I do this out of caring, not contempt.”

Jaebum doesn’t reply, and his master is gone in the next gust of the wind. He double checks to make sure his own cloak his secure, and he starts the long trek back home.

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe I finally get to go on a mission.” Jinyoung says to no one in particular as he spoons softened oats into his mouth.

Bambam nods from across the table, "Hopefully you don't die though, it'd be a major drag if you bit it on your first mission."

Youngjae elbowed Bambam, "That won't happen because you have a healer back over here who would not let it happen. Don't make him nervous Bam."

"Don't worry," Jinyoung assures, "I'm not worried I'm gonna die. I can look after myself Youngjae."

"Yeah," Jackson interjects, "and besides, he'll have me and Jaebum there watching out for him just in case. Plus Changkyun and Minhyuk and Taehyung. He's in good hands."

Jinyoung gives an agreeing gesture towards Jackson and gets back to his breakfast. Truthfully, he really isn't scared for his first mission. It's supposed to be simple, just delivering some supplies to a small village a few miles away that Taehyung had found. When he had first heard he was going on a mission, his stomach flipped at the prospect of getting to intercept some nameless rogues and save a small town. But Jaebum and Taehyung had already taken care of that part earlier, so their job was just to bring in new stuff that they could use to rebuild their resources. Even though there is not the same excitement involved in this part of the mission, he's still been greatly anticipating it. It's the first time since he's got here that he'll get to leave their camp and see more of the outerlands and all that it brings. He'll be able to observe all the new people and things that he has not before, and also be a part of the group. And just in time too, it was getting to be more and more of a drag as he'd watch Jaebum gather teams together for active duty while he remained sat in his tent; alone. He'd even grown tired of visiting the healers, no matter how much he enjoyed their presence and respected their work and liked talking to them about the things he'd learned about medicine in books, it just wasn't the same as actually being _out_ there. This would be his first step to doing more and more complicated things, maybe even someday he could be like Jackson. Who did secret, probably very important, missions that could last days at a time.

When he thought like this, he almost forgot that there was a ticking clock on his time here. Almost forgot who he actually was. And why he would never be like Jackson, or like any of them. He felt guilty sometimes, how some days it was so easy to forget his responsibility and forget his duty. How easy it was to slip into this place where he felt comradery and loyalty and belonging in a way he never had. A season had not yet past, but as the days grew longer and the weather grew warmer he knew they must be close to the change. But they had also not yet moved closer to the capital (although after this drop off they were set to move first thing at sunrise tomorrow). He knew he still had a good amount of time left, but sometimes a part of him thought he wouldn't mind if he had more.

Then he remembers, his family. Jihee. His mother. Minsun. His father. He thinks of how at least his mother and Jihee must be beside themselves with worry and grief, and he feels the immense weight of the life he left behind to live this one.

"But now is not the time to think of that," he scolds himself as he puts on his armor, "we have work to do."

The walk to the village is pleasant, even dragging the heavy supplies with them. Jinyoung's body has grown much stronger than it was a few mere moon cycles ago. His arms now stronger and hands calloused from swinging a sword, so it really isn't too bad. Not to mention that Minhyuk and Jackson are similar in personality, both loud and even louder together, and Changkyun and Taehyung can also be a lot of fun, so their collective merrymaking keeps spirits high. Jaebum watches it all quietly and laughs on occasion when the group is particularly funny, but still maintains a careful distance from them all. Jinyoung wonders if that ever gets tiring, the way that Jaebum always seems so carefully in control of himself.

They're about a hundred paces out from the village when they realize that something is wrong.

From afar, they had assumed the smoke was from the normal fare. It was not uncommon after all to have cooking fires in small villages. But as they got closer and heard the screams the group quickly realized that it was something else.

Jinyoung's first instinct when the adrenaline kicked in was to grab his sword and go in, but he withheld himself because he know that approaching with a plan would be safer. Changkyun and Minhyuk would go around to the left, Taehyung and Jackson would go around to the right, and Jaebum and Jinyoung would go straight down the middle.

The three pairs all hurried into action, and Jinyoung was not prepared for what they found. The village itself was primitive, with straw roofs and wooden frames which went up easily in flame. Men lay slaughtered, child gaunt and thin and cowering, women trying to salvage what was left of personal belongings. The gore and the pain and the horror was all overwhelming to see. But above all else, he was beside himself to see the emblem of the king, the very same one that lay under his armor across his shoulder as proof of his rank, on the armor of the people who were doing the destruction.

He stood in shock as a solider threw someone's personal belongings onto the dirt as they lay injured in a heap, saw their own little bits of history crushed to the dust, and realized he was just watching it happen when Taehyung intervened and ran the soldier through with a sword. 

"What are you doing, Jinyoung? Snap out of it!" He called, and it was then that Jinyoung drew his own sword and remembered all his days of training for moments exactly like these.

In the heat of battle he did not have time to contemplate what this all meant, because the rage he felt at the ruining of these people's lives was enough that he had no problem hurting those who had done it. The moment was too intense to stop and think. Dimly, he would realize, Yoonseung was wrong. Jinyoung could hurt people, he just had to have a reason. His entire life he had known one universal truth. The king's emblem: good guys. Everyone else: bad guys. So hurting those wearing it felt like a perversion of his morals, but he was too angry to dwell on it longer. He was not a prince in this moment, and later; he would remember just how much that scared him. 

After, when the fight was through and the enemy either fled or gone, they all set about trying to help the village how ever they could. Jinyoung looked at the stinking pile of bodies, that just hours ago had been living and breathing; had been going about their lives just as they always had, and now lay still warm on the dusty road as their loved ones cried; and he could not contain his words.

"How dare those men desecrate the crown by doing such atrocities under it's name." He seethed.

Minhyuk turned from where he had been trying to coax two hiding children out from under a carriage and looked at him in twisted confusion.

"What the hell are you talking about? Desecrating the crown? It's the crown who did this! These soldiers aren't answering to nobody you know!"

“Hey!” Jaebum intervened, “now is not the time to argue. We have bigger things to worry about.”

Minhyuk shook his head at him, "I know you're from close to the capital, but come on Jinyoung."

"You're saying...it was the king who allowed this to happen?" He asked numbly.

"Of course it was," Changkyun answered angrily from next to Minhyuk, "this village had something special in it. Something we were going to take with us to the next place we traveled so we could make sure it was safe."

"Not an it," Minhyuk said softly, "but a they." And his gaze turned as the two children that had been hiding came out. He registered first that they were twin girls and they were quite young, filthy and shaking with dark skin and short hair, but it wasn't until he noticed the fire emanating from one of their outstretched palms that he understood exactly what was going on. 

"But...they're just children?"

"As if that ever mattered to the king." Changkyun muttered.

"Don't be afraid," Jaebum said, ignoring them both, and he watched as Jaebum signaled for the others to move to the side so he could kneel close to the girls. The one with the fire in her hands thrust it outward, clearly signalling for him to stay away, but Jaebum just remained where he was and kept talking in a low, gentle voice.

"It's alright. We were here to get you away from here. Look, I'm just like you, I’m just like you." and Jaebum held up his own hand and produced a ball of blue light. It shone brightly in the darkness that was quickly beginning to cover the destroyed village, and it reflected back the girls' dark eyes.

"You came too late," the one not using magic said, her voice small and accusatory, "they hurt people because you came late."

"Sometimes, there are people who want to hurt you just because they can," Jaebum replied sadly. And Jinyoung got such an eery remembrance Yoonseung saying almost that exact thing, but as a positive. Telling him that he must hurt simply because he can. And he feels such an overwhelming sense of horror that he feels his stomach roiling.

"I can not bring back the people who died, but I have healers. People like us, who can try and help the ones who were hurt. But I need you two to come with me, I'll take you somewhere where you can be safe."

"You promise you'll help them? If we hadn't been here they wouldn't have done this." This is the first time the girl with the fire has spoken, and she speaks shakily with tears that Jinyoung can only imagine she is trying to hold back.

"I swear on the life of a magician, on _my_ life.” Jaebum moves a little closer, “But understand this, it is not your fault this happened. Those men were bad people, and they would have hurt someone regardless. There is nothing wrong with you, and there is no blame for you to take." The flame extinguishes in the girl’s hands as she runs headfirst into Jaebum's arms, a whirlwind of motion. And Jinyoung watches in surprise as Jaebum; cold, mysterious, Jaebum, easily returns her hug with a care and tenderness that he never could have imagined.

He turns away, the moment seeming too private for him to witness. Instead he looks out at the smoldering wreckage, at the people dead and the people still screaming for help and the children who will never forget this day as long as they live, and feels his royalty mark on his shoulder.

It aches like a burn from fire.

 

* * *

 

Jaebum and Jackson had left to take the girls to a safehouse ahead of their party, and Changkyun had stayed at the village overnight to make sure no one came back. Jinyoung returned with Taehyung, said farewell, then promptly vomited in the same field him and Jaebum would train in. He felt so incredibly lost, so numb and so angry he couldn’t even find words. He stayed there all night. Alone. Looked at the stars and hated the fates for doing this. Then hated himself, then hated his father, then hated the fates again. The camp was still bustling with activity even though the time was so late, all packing up the few possessions they carried to move on to the next place they'd settle. But he couldn’t even think about seeing anyone. He was afraid they’d know somehow, just be looking at him, know the shame that now lay underneath his clothes on his right shoulder. The secret he could not share, how would they look at him? Knowing what his blood had done to their own? How many of their families had been slain in the name of his father? How many lives had been destroyed?

At dawn, Jaebum and Jackson return. Jackson looks at him pityingly, but does not say anything even though he seems as though he wants to. He keeps on walking but Jaebum stays behind. Jinyoung pretends not to notice the mutual glance they share before Jackson departs. He's reminded of the looks his caretakers would share when it was decided on who'd have to discipline the misbehaving child. 

"How are the girls?" He asks.

"They are scarred, but they are strong. They will heal from this experience."

"..where are their parents?"

Jaebum hesitated, "I'm not sure if that-"

"I'm not made of glass Jaebum," Jinyoung snapped, "you can tell me these things."

Jaebum didn't even flinch at his harshness, "Fine, they dumped the girls in a river hoping to drown them when one first showed signs of magic. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No, I- no it wasn't. I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." He replied, head in his hands.

“Are you..okay? That wasn’t quite the easy first mission I had in mind. You seemed shaken up.” Jaebum asks mildly.

“It’s just us here, don’t play dumb with me. You know why I'm like this.” Jinyoung replies bitterly. He isn’t even mad at Jaebum, it wasn’t his fault, not really; but the easiest target to place his anger on was the person beside him.

Jaebum stays quiet.

“Why didn’t you tell me? How bad it was? How bad _he_ was?” He asks, his voice cracking on tears.

“Would you have believed me if I had?” Jaebum replies. And something about the resigned sadness so evident in Jaebum’s voice just makes this whole thing even worse.

“How can he let this happen? How can he _want_ this?” Jinyoung cries, purposefully not answering his question because they both already know the answer, “All of them, everyone I had loved and had known. They all are just- just letting this happen!”

“Did you know about this before now? Had could some of them? I am not denying there are guilty people, but I would assume for at least a few their only guilt was ignorance, just like you Jinyoung.”

“How can you even say that?” He says hysterically, “How can you justify this? How can you make any sense out of it all? Especially when it is your own kind being hunted like animals.”

“Because I’ve had all my life to do so. You’ve had a few hours.”

“I just don’t know what to do.” Jinyoung admits. The tears were flowing freely now, and he does nothing to hide them.

Jaebum lets him continue on, “How can I ever go back? how can I look in my father’s eyes, knowing the things he demands? How can I look my knights in the eyes? Knowing the innocent’s they’ve slain? How can I carry the weight of their sins?”

“No one asked you to carry it.” Jaebum says softly and Jinyoung hates him for being right and wise and calm when Jinyoung’s entire world is cracking apart.

“I can’t stand this, it’s not fair,” He sobs, “I wished for so long to be out of the castle, to live this fantasy of adventure, but at what cost now? How can I cope with the fact that the world I come from is so ugly? So broken?

“I don’t have the answers to your questions Jinyoung, and I have no idea how hard this must be for you but,” He pauses to lay a hand over Jinyoung’s and the look in his eyes is unreadable, “But you know now. You have _seen_ how wrong your father’s ways are. And now- and now, you can try and change it. You can work to help mend the wounds he’s caused.”

“And you would have me bear that responsibility alone?”

“ _No_ Jinyoung, we _all_ bear it. What do you think the clan is? We’re all here for the same reason.”

Jaebum looks at him fiercely, “Listen. I know what it’s like to be controlled and manipulated. To have someone get under your skin so thoroughly you feel as though you’ll never be able to scrub them off your skin. Like you’ll never be clean again. But we can change things, Jinyoung. This is what I’m fighting for.”

Jinyoung looks at Jaebum then, and realizes that he can never be who he was before. The Jinyoung he was at the beginning of the season was never going to be who he was now.

“I think you’ll the only person in this world that I truly trust anymore. Aside from maybe my sister. And even she has been caught in the web of the noble’s lies.” He says quietly.

“She won’t be forever. You've changed, so can she.”

Jinyoung sighed, “I have a million things I feel I want to say, but there is so little time for more to express them all. I don’t know if I’ll ever find the words."

“Sleep will do you good Jinyoung,” Jaebum's using that gentle voice, the same one he had used to those girls, “things are never as bad in the morning light.”

Jaebum reaches out a hand, and Jinyoung takes it. He lets himself be pulled to his feet. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your tent.”

Jinyoung lays on his bedroll for a long time, but sleep doesn’t come. He eventually drifts off with the sounds of innocent peoples screams still ringing in his ears, and he can't help but wonder if this is how Jaebum feels all the time. 

He dreams of his father, and his own hands are blood stained as they close around his throat. His mother is crying, but he doesn't stop squeezing. Jihee looks at him in horror, but he still doesn't stop. He watches the life drain from his eyes, and feels empty inside. Jaebum is smiling. Jinyoung smiles back. The scene changes, and Jaebum is no longer smiling, but his father is as the magician lies dead on the floor. His people cheer.

_Long live the king_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think in the comments! thanks for all the support so far, the next chapter is v jaebum and magic heavy so i'm looking forward to it >:)


	4. polaris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Polaris. Noun.  
> the polestar or North Star, a star of the second magnitude situated close to the north pole of the heavens, in the constellation Ursa Minor. The star to lead you home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is alternatively titled: when shit hits the fan
> 
> also this chapter is a Monster, i was gonna split it in two but i really wanna stick to my 5 chapter limit and there was no good place pacing wise to break it up so y'all just enjoy this extra long one
> 
> and sorry for the long wait! i'm a student who also has a job where she often works 6 days a week and that plus the holidays can get kinda crazy

_“A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done.”_ _-C. Joybell_

 

* * *

 

Jaebum loves sleeping outside, and that is largely a result of his runes.

His master had given him his first when he turned fourteen. It was a simple one, all it did was improve his concentration so he could focus on his spells more, but the difference it made was incredible. Before, when his master had told him magic was living, he had nodded attentively and paid attention, but he had not _understood._ Now, he did. Magic was _alive_ , the rune on his skin lived as he did. Aided him. It took his own energy and in return gave him it’s own. It was a symbiotic relationship that was so hard to describe to someone who themselves could not experience it.

And the rune was calmest when he was outside, because magic itself came from nature, so being here was always best. It’s where his rune worked the most strongly, so he could concentrate on learning and reap the results by feeling himself growing stronger with each day.

But right now, that was not on his mind as he was fast asleep on a bed of moss and leaves. His master was out gathering ingredients for a new spell he would show him when the moon was full, so he was all by himself with the winds from the South singing him to sleep. His dreams were pleasant. In them, he was in a kind of oasis. The trees were green and full, and the water calm and clear. His arms were covered in runes that he did not recognize, but if he thought hard enough he could feel their power on him, in him, around him. It was wonderful. Idyllic. A future he could almost touch- if he just reached out, if he just could reach a little bit further-

Then the dream shattered around him as thin as ice, because out in the real world- someone stepped on him.

A foot, hard and uncomfortable and _definitely_ a foot, made harsh contact with his face. He jolted awake, his hands outstretched in defense and his nose smarting painfully. The person that must belong to the foot made a noise of surprise, and he heard rustling as they surely steaded themselves after Jaebum’s reaction.

“Do you live out here? Why are you sleeping on leaves?” An awed voice said from above.

Jaebum blinked the sleep from his eyes. There stood a boy about his age, maybe a little older, with wide eyes, looking down at him. He was speaking Jaebum’s language, but it was stilted and strange, as though he had not quite gotten the hang of the way the speech fit on his tongue. He pronounced the word leaves much more like leakes, but Jaebum thinks he got what he was trying to say.

“Who are you? I’m Jackson. I came from across the sea, and moved to the village nearby.”

“I’m Jaebum.” He grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“Jaebum! Do you usually sleep in the woods? Is that a thing the people here do?” His eyes were wide earnestly.

“No, it’s just something _I_ do.”

“Why?”

“You talk too much.”

Jackson gave him a look, “You’re grumpy, it’s boring.”

“If I’m boring, why don’t you leave?”

Jackson seemed to hesitate at that, “Because no one else in the village will talk to me.” His face had lost its enthusiastic expression, and the words he spoke next were matter of fact, “They don’t like me or my family- because we’re different.”

Jaebum stared at him for a long moment, at this strange boy with his wide smile and easy confessions, and felt himself say, against his better judgement, “I’m different too.”

Jackson grinned and held out a hand to help him stand up.

“Perfect.”

And that was that.

 

* * *

 

“Do I _really_ have to go with you?” Jihee asked with a sigh.

The princess looked in the mirror with her eyebrows raised, observing the work being done behind her. Her handmaiden Sooyoung was pulling her hair into a tight, mildly painful bun. She carefully soothed away any flyaways with her left hand, as the other expertly twisted the hair into it’s regal style. The price to pay for royalty, she thought wistfully, as her head began to ache.

“Yes Jihee, you _really_ do. Don’t be difficult,” Her mother scolded from where she sat perched on her daughter's bed, “this meeting will be important to establish a good relationship with the Park dynasty from the North, and in doing so will find you a man to marry.” There was a cheerful blaze coming from the fireplace in the corner; her sheets were freshly changed and her view of the courtyard outside was covered in a fresh blanket of snow. Any other day and she’d be in a wonderful mood with all this, but today was not that day.

As the female middle child, with little hope of ever ruling, her parents were expecting her to instead marry into a wealthy family to expand her father’s empire. She was a pawn. A commodity for the crown. Personally, Jihee was uninterested in finding herself a man, at least at the moment- barely past nineteen- and much more interested in other pursuits. Instead of expanding the empire by marriage, she much preferred the idea of getting to travel as a diplomat to new lands. But her father would never let that happen, so here she was.

“And what would you do if I said I did not want to marry?” She said mildly, half as a joke and half hoping.

“I would tell you to not be foolish, and to honor your duty as a princess by doing as you’re told.” Her mother said sharply.

_So much for that._

“Yes, mother.” Jihee said, wincing as Sooyoung tugged particularly hard, and her companion gave her a sympathetic look through the mirror. Jihee was grateful for her handmaiden’s support.

At the very least, she reasoned, the meeting was to be at a neutral ground next to the borders between the inner kingdom and the outerlands, so perhaps the guards there would be able to give her news on the search for Jinyoung. If it were up to her, she’d rather be out there with them. But there are some dreams that cannot be, so she lets Sooyoung finish her bun, plasters on the smile fit for a princess, and follows the royal procession out of the castle.

 

* * *

 

Jackson has always had a tendency to get himself into trouble. Although for what it’s worth, Jaebum also did his fair share of rule breaking, but the difference was he was much more discreet. Jackson, with all his desperation for attention and boundless energy, loved an audience. The problem was he always attracted the wrong ones.

“Jackson, hurry up.” Jaebum pants. They were running through the woods, and the lower hanging branches slapped their ankles and left stinging welts as they sprinted past. He can hear the sound of hoofbeats behind them, and knows that the nobles guards are fast approaching.

“I’m right behind you.” His partner says, his bag jangles loudly against his leg as it’s contents are shifted. A constant beacon for the people chasing them.

“If you got rid of that damn bag, they wouldn’t be able to follow us so easily!”

“If you think we went through all that trouble to get this loot, and I’m just going to throw it away- you’re out of your fucking mind.” Jackson yells, his voice strained and hoarse from the exertion.

With Jackson unwilling to dispose of the noisy bag, Jaebum’s mind races with his other options. Then, like a gift from the heavens; out of the corner of his eye, he sees a dead tree overhanging precariously. He breaths an internal sigh of relief, and begins to focus. The world slows down around him. Consciously, he knows he is still running, but it is like he has all the time in the world. As they pass under the tree, he raises a hand and twists his wrist; he feels his hands tingle with the feeling, and he concentrates harder, trying to focus all his energy to solely the palm of his hands. At first, the tree works against him, refusing to fall. But he just pushes harder. The plant sways once, twice, and lets out one final groan of protest, and then finally bends under the will of his power; crashing down behind them with an overwhelming _crack._

Distantly, he hears a horse whinny as they come up to the barricade he’s created, and he knows that he just bought them the time that they need to lose their pursuers. They quickly turn off the route they’d been taking, and head West instead. The sound of hoofbeats becoming a faraway noise until it isn’t noise at all. They’re safe.

The pair come across a meadow, with blooming flowers swaying gently in the breeze. A peaceful reprieve from the excitement of the day. The boys stop by a nearby stream to rest and drink the clear water. Despite his exhaustion from using his magic, Jaebum musters up the energy to glare at his best friend.

“You need to stop causing a fuss.”

Jackson lies down in the grass, “Ah relax, where’s the fun in no fuss?”

“We’re not about fun Jacks! We’re about helping the helpless. You can’t very well do that if you’re hung for treason.”

“You’re too grim all the time.”

“You’re too reckless!” Jaebum countered.

Jackson shook his head at him, “One of these days, I’ll make you smile Jaebummie.”

“Never.” Jaebum said, but his lips were already loosening into a smirk, and eventually they erupt into giggles as the pair replay their most recent adventure.

Within a few moments, Jaebum can’t remember why he was so annoyed.

“Did you- did you see his face when he realized we had stolen it? He couldn’t believe himself, it was so funny.” Jackson wheezed, hands gripping his sides. He nodded and tried to stifle his own laughs behind his arms, but he couldn’t help but let the sounds out into the echo of the clearing.

After awhile, Jackson calmed down enough to nod off into a quick nap, and Jaebum stayed awake to keep watch; rubbing his arm out of habit. He had gotten a new rune recently, his master murmuring the incantation into the ink, so that it slithered across his skin like a snake. Then burned its way into the flesh, the pain hot and sharp and agonizing for a moment, before it cooled and settled. It had hurt, but this was his fourth one, so he had gotten used to the moment of unpleasantness for the long term benefits. It was the rune for communication and signals, and it lay on his upper arm; a thick black line going upwards, followed by two horizontal lines coming out of the side. It was getting harder to hide the dark marks, and soon he would need some kind of spell cast to mask them permanently to avoid suspicion. But as for now, he loved getting to keep them uncovered. When people saw them revealed, there was always the shock; always the awe; they were the mark of a magician, and they were proof of his power. 

His master had wanted him to have this one so he could always call upon him when he needed to. Now that Jaebum had reached manhood, he was allowed to traverse the land more freely than he had before, and so he had to have a way to be summoned back should he ever be needed. As of right now though, Jaebum is enjoying his freedom. He gets to roam the villages and forests of new places, and help people when he can, and he gets to do it with his best friend. Jackson is no magician, but he is skilled with a sword and even more so with words. He has gotten them into a lot of bad situations with his big mouth, but for every bad situation he has created at least three more good ones. So overall, he thinks they’re a pretty good team. They’ve dubbed themselves the clan of the lost, because they never settled anywhere. They are perpetually lost, always moving forward, always searching for home.

Neither think they will find it, but that’s because they’ve already found it in each other.

 

* * *

 

Jaebum goes to the home of the druids right after the clan of the lost is officially formed.

For all his years now of learning the ways of magic, he has never been here. It is the holiest of holy places, where the first magicians discovered the craft. It is sacred, hidden away so not even the most insistent on destroying the art could ever find it. His master tells him it is a place every true magician must see at least once in their life.

It is a place of fallen stones and nestled in the dank surroundings of a cave. Someone stumbling upon it would probably not even notice it’s significance. But the magic he feels here is so overwhelming and true that he feels tears streaming down his face out of sheer reflex. He can not imagine a world where people once got to feel this level of power all the time, and he is in awe of these people who lived in such a world. It is as though magic is not only in him, not only in the nature, but all around them. Surrounding them, encasing them. He can feel the water rushing and the bugs moving and the way the land spins faster than he can even comprehend. It is everything, and yet nothing all at once. It simply _is_ , and that is what is so mystifying about it.

A hand on his shoulder, a voice in his ear, “A gift,” His master whispered, “for you.”

It was beautiful.

It was a knife, and he watched as it was blessed in the waters of the druid’s graves. The handle is worn and aged, and words from an ancient language lay in the material. No matter how often he uses it, they never fade away or dull. He does not know what the inscription on the handle means, but his master assures him that one day he will find out for himself. When he needs to know, that is when it shall be known.

Jaebum carries that knife with him at all times. When he touches it, it is as though he is back in that cave. It brings him strength, but it also brings him pain. As he feels the immeasurable amount of souls behind the knife, all those who are gone from those world, he is constantly reminded of the delicacy of his position. His master taught him his power, and he now knows he brought him to the caves to teach him humility for that power.

He is carrying within him an art as old as time itself, he is merely a vessel to carry it forward, and he can not fail.

He will not fail.

 

* * *

 

“Changkyun, if you drop that one more time I swear I will make sure you don’t get any sweets anymore.” Kihyun groans.

Changkyun pouts, “I’m trying, it’s heavy.”

“I know kid, but the stuff in there is important. Try harder.” Kihyun says, ruffling the younger’s hair as Jaebum walks past.

Jaebum shakes his head fondly as he listens to the argument. They were moving even closer to the capital, carrying all their supplies South to the borders. Jaebum truthfully was growing quite antsy, it had been a long time since he had been this close to the kingdom, and here the air felt different. The villagers around here were different, fearful and respectable; as though they were hollow marionettes controlled by the crown. Patrols more common, albeit often lazy and not particularly observant, but still a threat nonetheless. He felt like they were walking out on an ice covered lake, and he was afraid that his people would end up drowned.

“I can actually _taste_ your stress.” Jackson says, coming up to the front of the pack with him, “And it does not taste good. Sour.”

“Jacks, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jaebum lies.

Jackson lowers his voice, “Relax, it’s just me. The others can’t hear, and showing weakness is not always a flaw you know.”

“When you find an instance where it isn’t, please let me know.”

Jackson raises his eyebrows at him, “It’s not just the move is it, you’re worried about what happens when we get to the capital, right?”

Jaebum looks at him, and he hopes his face conveys the answer that they both already know is true. He makes a subtle movement with his hand and an expression of pain passes across his face, so quick that most wouldn’t even notice it, but Jackson knows that he just activated a rune. His silence one, making their conversation muffled to those around them.

“It’ll be okay,” Jackson says, “We’ve been working towards this for years Jaebum. We _will_ succeed.”

“But that’s what I’m worried about,” Jaebum admits, “I’m worried about what will happen after we succeed.”

“My friend, I have fought by your side since I was barely past a child, and I can promise you this: everything, we have been able to overcome. This will be no different, we will figure it out. We always do.”

Jaebum shoots him a grateful smile, and Jackson clasps his shoulder tightly in response. There will be no more talking of these plans, at least not until tonight, safe within the confines of Jaebum’s tent. Where he can add extra protections to ensure that the information stays away from prying ears.

For now, the steady hand on his shoulder offers all the comfort to hold him out until then.

 

* * *

 

As they travel, Jinyoung and Jaebum spar together often. It keeps them both busy, and Jaebum insists on keeping abilities sharp and honed just like a sword. _A weapon is only as good as the person who wields it, he always says, a sharp blade is lost on a dull owner._ And Jinyoung may have become quite skilled in their time together, but Jaebum still loves to give him corrections any time he can.

_Your heel is coming up in the back, it will make you lose your balance._

_I can hear you thinking, stop trying to analyze my every move and let it come naturally._

_Your feet are getting too close together again._

“If I hear one more correction right now I might actually run myself through with this sword.” Jinyoung groans, collapsing in the grass..

Jaebum nods, “Let’s take a break.”

The sun is beginning to set. The birds are singing quietly, and Jaebum closes his eyes and corrects his posture and slips into mediation before he even really notices. He knows that Jackson has told Jinyoung before that meditation helps his magic, so it was only a matter of time before Jinyoung grew curious. It’s then, in the stillness of this moment, that Jinyoung brings up his powers.

“Where does your magic come from?” He asks.

“Nature. The trees, the heavens. All of it.”

“But- don’t you have runes?”

“Yes I do, but that’s not where magic comes from, because the runes themselves are magic. They work kind of like, a filter. They concentrate my magic, make it easier to use.”

“That’s why you always wear long sleeves, right? To hide them?”

“I also have a disguising charm on them. Having visible runes is incredibly dangerous. It’s like a painted target on your back.”

Jaebum knows on some level, he really shouldn’t be talking about this. This is all information that Jinyoung could take and tell the many people who want to kill him for his magic. It’s the first thing he tells young magic users he meets. _Don’t reveal your secrets. They will kill you for them._

“A teacher once told me they were made from the blood of your enemies.” Jinyoung says.

“And who exactly are my enemies?”

“Non magic users.”

Jaebum snorts, “Figures. Not quite.”

Jinyoung hesitates, “Can I...see them?”

Jaebum hesitates too. His runes are a part of him, an important part, but they are a part that he very rarely shows unless he really needs to make a statement. When he was younger, he liked to have them on display, but he is no longer a child who likes to show off. His people were slaughtered for the marks on his skin, and it is something he needs to protect. Even against other magicians, who see his runes as a sign of times long past, of abilities that they can not gain. They look upon them with envy, but also with fear.

And besides, regular people don’t want to see them. They are ugly, they are a sign of his wrongness, of the mistake that he must surely be. Of destruction and of death.

So, he’s a little averse to the question at first.

But Jinyoung- he asked. Nicely, and neutrally. So Jaebum concentrates for a moment, and lets the runes come up to the surface of his skin. He braces himself for the horror, for the disgust. Jinyoung is quiet for a long moment.

“They’re...beautiful.” Jinyoung murmurs. Moving his hands to skim them across Jaebum’s exposed arms. Jaebum ignores the goosebumps that raise up in his skin at the gentle touch. And pushes back the emotion that threatens to rise in his throat. How long has it been since someone other than Jackson has seen his runes with anything other than fear?

“What do they all mean?” He whispers, and Jaebum swallows harshly again at the intimacy of this moment. He turns to look at him and notices that he had not realized how many colors Jinyoung had in his eyes. Were they always such a deep brown? How had he never noticed before?

They sit like that, for how long Jaebum could not tell, as he carefully explains what each rune he has does. As he talks, Jinyoung’s fingers trace each one, as though he is committing the information to heart. Before, Jaebum would have thought he was memorizing them to use it against him later. Now, he hopes that he never stops.

He isn’t sure when they both fall asleep, but when he wakes his runes are the calmest that they’ve been in a long time.

 

* * *

 

This meeting was proving to be a complete disaster.

The youngest Park son is a cousin who Jihee had met once in her youth. He was gangly then, with long arms and a sharp nose. Jinyoung had whispered to her during dinner that he looked like a rat, and Jihee had choked on her water so hard that the servants were afraid an attempt on her life had been made. She was sad to see that nothing had changed in his appearance since then except for a measly line of facial hair across his upper lip , and when he leaned forward to kiss at her hand- it took everything in her power not to take a step back in revulsion.

She was sitting in her chair, picking at the lining of her dress and trying to think up a reasonable excuse that could let her escape for at least a little while, when all hell broke loose. They were in a large hall, all cut white marble and little furniture. The second floor of the building was like a maze of rooms, but they were having their meeting down here in the foyer.

First, came the guards. They did not run, but they most definitely walked with purpose as they approached the captain, who was standing over by the pillars next to the doors. They whispered to him, and his face remained calm. But he left. Followed them out, this time not just walking with purpose but going into a light jog. It was unusual, but the Park son would not stop going on and on about the game hunting in the North long enough for her to try and discern what was wrong.

Then, the noise started. It was just banging at first, as though someone was working stone outside. But then it became yelling, and everyone stopped what they were doing. They all sat in shocked silence as they listened to the growing sounds of what seemed like battle. At this point, Jihee refused to just let them all sit here as though they were part of the decor.

“Where are all the guards?” She said to her mother, “Can anyone in this damn place explain what’s going on?”

“Jihee- watch your language.” Her mother said softly.

Jihee choose to ignore the fact that in a time of distress her mother still cared more about how her rat cousin would think of her rather than the fact that their very lives could be in danger. She walked to the doors and give them a push, her face paling when she realized that they would not move. It was locked from the inside, they were trapped.

She could kick herself for being so careless, so stupid, as to not realize as soon as the guards left their posts that they were not who they said they were. The fact that they would leave the queen and princess alone with no protection is the biggest warning sign there could be, but she was not in her usual place and not with her normal people, so she had chosen to not question it. Yet there was no use in punishing herself over the could be’s and the what if’s- if they were trapped, they were trapped for a purpose, and there is no way that it was a good one. Now was the time to act.

She took her mother’s hand and led her away from the others, the best place to hide was that maze of rooms upstairs. It was their only chance when they were unarmed except for the dagger she kept concealed. Damn her father and his refusal to give her a significant weapon!

“Where are you going?” Her cousin called, “It’s foolish to try and escape. You’ll just make it worse!” His voice had gotten snively with fear, and she felt her face twist in disgust at his cowering form.

_Coward._

She didn’t respond, and ushered her mother into the next corridor. Leaving her cousin and his liaison behind. Her mother was making noises of distress, and she shushed her as gently as she could. The women was not built for blood or for battle, and she appeared to be thoroughly shutting down before they had even seen any. She found a room near the eastern wing of the building, and settled them both down in it. It was musty, clearly unused for awhile, and they sat in silence as the noises below them got louder. She tried to listen for the sound of her cousin’s voice, but it was useless amid the chaos.

Jihee stifled a yelp as the door to the room they were in burst open. In came two men, she couldn’t see well from the position she was in, but she caught a glimpse of one of them. He had dark hair and a darker demeanor, and she was frightened of him immediately. The other man wore a mask, and she could not see the rest of his face well, but he seemed friendlier. She did not move a muscle, and clutched her mother to her from their hiding place in the hope that they would not be found.

“They have to be here somewhere,” The one wearing the mask said, his voice sounded familiar, but she could not quite place it, “That idiot downstairs said they had ran off.”

The man pulled the mask off his mouth, and Jihee’s heart leapt as she recognized who he was. She’d know that face anywhere. She’d know that _voice_ anywhere. There was no possible way, no conceivable reason the heavens would be so kind to her as to-

Her mother, as it turns out, was the one who got there first, bursting from their hiding place with a, “Jinyoung! Oh stars and sun! Jinyoung! My son!”

“H-hi.” Jinyoung said lamely, hand coming up to pull at his hair in the back. A habit he had picked up when he was a child. She had thought she may never see him do that again.

“Is it..is it really you?” His mother whispered in awe.

_Is it?_

He looked just like the brother she had always known, so distinctly him it made her heart hurt; but at the same time so incredibly not him it made her head spin.

This Jinyoung had muscled arms from wielding a weapon which hung confidently at his side. It was a large blade that looked sharp enough to cut through human flesh with ease, and no doubt struck fear in the hearts of those who were on the other side of it.

This Jinyoung had skin no longer deathly pale, but more browned from much time outside. But aside from the physical differences; there was also an air of power, and self assured ease that had never been there before. And in his eyes was a new hardness, this was a man who had seen things that stays with a person; not a boy of the past. Yet in those eyes was also a kind of freedom, a kind of happiness, that was evident from the new laugh lines and the way that his eyes twinkled; this was someone who had had many smiles in the time he had been gone.

She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him; afraid that when she did she would wake up and realize that this was just another unfortunate dream that had to end. Then, he would disappear from her sight again. So caught up in her emotion she didn't even notice that the man from earlier, with the dark hair and scary demeanor, was back; watching silently.

“I hate to break up the reunion, but we don’t have a lot of time.” He said.

Jinyoung nodded. Jihee's eyes tracked the movement.

“This is the absolute last place we need people to realize who you are, can you put that stuff back on?” Jinyoung nodded again, and started tying the bandanna (as she now recognized his mask to be) back around his neck so he could pull it up to his mouth.

“What are we going to do about them?” He asked.

“We need to smuggle them out of here without anyone seeing. I have an idea.”

She did not like the sound of that.

When he tried to approach them, they flinched back reflexively, after all, they had almost all been killed. She did not know what plan he had in mind for them, but she’ll be damned if she let another person try and tear their family apart.

Jinyoung seemed to realize their fear and he jumped in beside the other man, gently grabbing Jihee’s arms that she had raised in defense, “It’s okay, he’s saved my life more than once. I trust him with my life Jihee. He won’t hurt you. He won’t hurt either of you, I promise.”

“Prove that it is really you.” She choked out.

Jinyoung thought for a moment.

“When I was eight, my pants fell down at the royal ball in front of Princess Somin from across the mountains, you have never let me live it down as long as I remain in this existence. It was arguably the worst moment of my life.”

“Okay….okay. What have you got in mind?” Jihee said to the man that was not her brother. She grabbed her mother’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I’m going to perform magic on you, okay?” Her heart stuttered in her chest. _Magic._ She felt like the room was spinning. A magician, Jinyoung, magic, a magician, _Jinyoung._

The man was still talking, “It won’t hurt, but it may tickle. All it does is make you blend into your surroundings, so the average eye won’t be able to catch you. It will help us get you out of here unharmed. You were led here for an attempt on your life.”

“Jinyoung,” Jihee said, “You trust this man?”

“Yes. He will do what he says he will, I swear.”

This is their only chance. She has to make a decision.

“Okay." She says, "Do it.”

If her mother was in her right mind, Jihee was sure she’d be protesting right now. But she was still looking at Jinyoung wide eyed and speechless. In her mind, she knew that her powerful queen was far, far away from here. They were all on their own.

So focused on her mother and Jinyoung, she did not even realize the magic had been done to her until after it happened. It was so quick, much too quick for the terror she felt at the prospect of magic to truly set in. She was running purely on adrenaline, and so her first experience with magic was done before she could even comprehend. Later looking back, she would be grateful for that.

The man staggered back from them with a gasp, and Jinyoung rushed to his side looking concerned. Jihee watched as Jinyoung put a caring hand on his waist, and the man shrugged away from his grip hurriedly.

“Your runes are draining you, you need to be careful.” Jinyoung said to him.

“I’ll be fine. Finish preparing, we will have soldiers knocking down our door very soon.”

He addressed them next.

“Remember. You are invisible to the eyes of everyone except those in this room, but that does not mean you are impervious to a sharp blade. Be careful not to get in the way of one as we lead you out.”

Jihee was running purely on instinct, and before she even had time to process all this new information. _Who was this man? How did Jinyoung meet him? A magician?_ Their pursuers had burst into the room, with the door splintering and cracking to the weight of the swords they were using, and Jinyoung had sprung into action. They steadily moved down the hallways of the wrecked palace as the pair fought, with them following close behind, dodging blades left and right.

They moved like a whirlwind.

It was obvious that these two knew each other, and knew each other well. When one moved one way, the other would protect their back naturally, and as they twirled and spun and parried; Jihee was in awe of them. They were not separate entities, but rather a combined being. She was so focused on watching them, that she did not see when a stray soldier fell hard to the ground right in front of her, and his blade caught the edge of her forearm; blood welled in the wound as she let out a surprised cry. The scary man turned to look in her direction sharply, but did not say anything. She stood stock still, afraid that she had ruined their disguise. Jinyoung broke his concentration for a moment at her cry of pain, and opened his mouth, but before any words came out, he and the other made eye contact and Jinyoung seemed to remember himself and their position.

Eventually, they reached the original ballroom that she and her mother had been in. There stood the Park's liaison, and he did not look surprised to see the two men in front of him. Beside him was her cousin, and if he could have seen her, she would have spit at him.

_A snake as well as a coward._

Jinyoung's friend walked up to him, the soldiers are stood silently; waiting to see how they should proceed. When he spoke, he spoke with an authority and calm that was almost unsettling.

"I'm Im Jaebum, leader of the clan of the lost from the Northern outerlands, and this," He said, gesturing to her brother, who gave a silent nod in greeting,  "Is my right hand man Jinyoung. My good sir, you double crossed us.”

"I told you there would be a valuable opportunity awaiting you, and there was."

"You did not specify that assassination would be in the mix."

The liaison laughed, "What? Are you a royalist now Jaebum?"

"No, but I do not think that murdering the wife and daughter of the King will do much to aid my cause."

"Only fools think that a problem created off the blood of innocents, can be solved with anything other than that." He sneered.

"Let's agree to disagree. My people and I will go, and you are free to commence your business as you wish. I don’t care what you do to complete your plot, but my people and I want no part of it."

"You would leave? Just like that?"

"Yes."

The others eyes squinted in suspicion.

"Why do I feel you are hiding something, Im Jaebum?"

Jaebum shrugged, "We are a land of thieves and of bandits, I suppose we all have something to hide."

His focus turned to her brother, and the liaison seemed to appraise him with a long look up and down. Jinyoung's eyes gazed back at him coldly, unwavering in their intensity. And that- that is different for her to see. Jihee had known Jinyoung all of her life, had seen him as a child with his front teeth missing, and as a toddler still getting his wobbly walk down, and even as a teenager with his gangly limbs. She had seen him through it all. But never before had she been intimidated by him. Never had she felt a spark of fear at what he may be capable of.

This man with these frigid eyes is so far from the man she has known. 

The liaison addresses Jinyoung's friend once more, "And just _who_ is this new man you've gained? He is quite the able fighter, not much of a talker though?"

“All you must know is he is loyal to me and a worthy ally. Now, if you excuse us, we really must be going." As Jaebum was saying this, they had already begin backing away. Jihee's heart was pumping so loud she was fearful some of them could hear it. The soldiers were all clumped together, and it was terrifying work to try and weave her way through them without bumping someone.

They had almost made it too.

A trembling voice shouting out behind them, "Sir! The princess and the queen are gone! Somehow they escaped!"

"It was that damn Jaebum,” He bellowed, “I knew he was empathetic of that royal scum! Kill them! Kill them all!"

They all broke into a run. Jaebum raised his hands, and she watched in disbelief as he pushed the heavy door forward, and twisted his wrist; causing the blockade trapping them inside to burst open. After they passed through it though, he slammed it shut again with another movement of his hand. There were cries of frustration and swearing coming from the inside of the blocked doors, and she would laugh at the trick if not for the imminent danger they were still in. The door could not withstand swords and axes for long.

"Come on, let's go." Jinyoung called. They ran out of the courtyard and entered the surrounding forest. Her lungs burned from the strain, she was not used to running distances like this. She had never had a need to before this moment.

"We just have to get to the clearing," Jaebum yelled, "Just a little bit further." She could see it, where the trees broke up and left only the frozen grass in its wake. But what would they do at the clearing? In horror, she realized that after the clearing they run out of forest, the noise she had heard earlier was a waterfall, and it dropped down from a dizzying height. She could hear people fast approaching on horseback, the clanging of armor following them. They were cornered.

"The first time always hurts a little, sorry in advance." Jaebum said, grabbing her hand tightly. Out of reflex she tried to let go, but Jaebum just gripped her tighter. She saw Jinyoung grab their mother's hand, and her mother grabbed her own. Before she had time to question _what_ exactly was going to hurt, the world exploded in a flash of blue light.

The next thing she knew, they were in a different clearing. There was most definitely no waterfall, and the sounds of horseman were gone. It was still and quiet. Peaceful.

Except for the fact her head felt like it had been run over by a carriage. She tried to sit up and winced.

"Lie down for a second." She heard Jaebum say, "The first few minutes are always the worst." Jinyoung groaned in agreement.

"How did we- how did we do that. Where are we?"

"Safe. That's all you need to know."

Safe. _Safe._ And with Jinyoung. Finally.

She was halfway on deciding whether or not that was good enough for now before she promptly fainted.

  

* * *

  

She could hear them, arguing. Much like she had when she was a child, desperate to partake in the affairs of her country, she feigned sleep so she could listen in. Jinyoung and Jaebum had wandered away, and they were now in the middle of a heated discussion. She had to strain her ears to listen properly.

“We can’t take them back to the camp Jinyoung, it’s too dangerous. I can’t allow it.”

“So what? We just leave them out here? Let them be picked off like ants?” Her brother said. She could hear the way his voice was tight, the way it did when he was trying to hold back his anger.

“I didn’t say that just- just let me think. ”

“Listen,” Jinyoung murmured, “I know that people in the clan hate the crown, and rightly so; and I know that we cannot risk their identity being revealed...”

Jaebum continues the others thought, “..But if we leave them concealed by the spell, and keep them in the room until we can find someone who can return them to the kingdom…”

Jinyoung finishes it off, “Then it just might work out, for everyone.”

“Okay...okay Jinyoung. But I’m going to blindfold them before they enter, and they are not allowed to leave their room. You will be in charge of making sure that they comply and don’t cause trouble. Are we clear?”

“Absolutely. Thank you Jaebum, really. I owe you fo-”

She turned on her back and a twig snapped- loud and obvious in the quiet of the clearing. The pair immediately stopped their conversation. Her mother did not stir beside her.

“I think they’re awake.” Her brother said.

“We need to leave immediately, the group will be wondering where we are. Have them ready within the hour.”

Within the hour indeed. Not much later, they were walking the paths through the forest, and Jihee was absolutely, achingly exhausted. Her feet felt like they were on fire, and the muscles in her calves strained under her ripped tights. She was still wearing her ceremonial dress from the Park meeting, and the corset bit into her sides, making it even harder to get her breath. Worst yet, the cut she had gotten back from one of the soldiers was causing her much more pain then she was willing to admit. She could feel it wet and sticky underneath the cloth of her sleeve, but she did not want to cause any more trouble, so she kept silent and resolved to power through it until they reached wherever it was they were going.

Eventually though, she gave in to her tiredness for a moment, “Must we- must we walk at this pace?” She asked. She knew it wasn’t only for her benefit, her mother must be feeling it too even if she had not said anything. Truthfully, her mother had been silent since they had arrived in the clearing, and she was growing concerned for the others state of mind. She seemed to have completely shut down.

Instead of answering her question, Jaebum turned to her brother, “Jinyoung, were you like this when I first brought you here?”

“Probably,” Jinyoung laughed, “Go easy on them. They’re not as resilient as me.”

Jihee punched his arm perhaps a little harder than she originally intended, “Watch it punk, get me a bow and quiver and I’ll show this man and you how resilient I actually am.”

Jaebum nodded solemnly, “Oh don’t worry your highness, you are already more resilient than Jinyoung. He made us take six breaks when he joined us. The length was half of this which we’ve walked.”

Jihee smiled despite herself, “Ah, that sounds like the baby brother I know.”

“Hey!” Jinyoung protested, “I don’t like the idea of you two ganging up on me.”

“We’re not,” Jaebum said, “We’re just being honest.”

Jihee howled with laughter from behind them. It felt good to laugh, this entire day had felt like it had been happening for much longer than that. And she was almost delirious with all the unbelievable things that had occurred. She was still half expecting to wake up and see this was all a bizarre dream.

They did end up taking a break, and she sat down for a moment- focusing on her breathing. Her body had gotten used to the pain, so it was starting to all numb out into nothingness. It wasn’t until she tried to stand again that she released this was a problem. Her legs gave out from under her, and she knew she should keep her eyes open, but they felt so, so heavy. Like bricks were lain across them. She heard voices, but they sounded very, very far away.

“Jihee? Jihee! Jihee stay awake.” Jinyoung was saying, and Jihee felt bad for not following his instructions, but as the world faded to black she just could not stop herself.

 

* * *

 

 Their latest base was at least in Jinyoung’s mind, his favorite yet. The outside world was now freezing, so using the tents had not been ideal. Instead, this was a collection of caves and holes they had apparently hollowed out many years ago, and always settled in come winter. It was dry, and quiet and cozy, and reminded him a little bit of a library. It brought back fond memories.

The little room he had was dimly light, but it was comfortable and warm. Though now his safehaven was fraught with tension as his sister lay before him. Jihee groaned pitifully, and writhed around on the bed; fitful and not fully conscious. Youngjae examined her with a grave look on his face.

“The wound itself is not the problem, but it is the fact that the blade was tainted. There is poison running through her veins, and it is killing her.”

Jaebum sighs, “That’s what I was afraid of.”

Throughout this whole ordeal, his mother had been largely silent. Jinyoung knew it was probably the shock keeping her in a haze, but now she had grown borderline hysteric very quickly. The fear of Jihee's condition overruling whatever other emotions she must be having. 

“What can you do? Can you save her?” She begged.

Jaebum stood there for a long moment, biting his lip, before he replied, “Yes, I can.”

“I have to use magic on her though, is that going to be alright?”

The queen paused, but eventually said, “I don’t care what you do, just don’t let my daughter die.”

Jaebum nodded, “So be it, then.”

Jinyoung sat with his mother, tightly holding onto her hands as Youngjae and Jaebum went about the proper preparations. Jaebum had taken off the shieldings for his runes, and they stood out on his skin; dark and mystical. His mother had flinched when she had seen them, and he tried to murmur all the comfort he could think of into her ears.

“We will perform the spell now.” Youngjae said gently.

“Will this hurt her?” The queen asked, voice shaking.

“Her? No.” Jaebum said.

After a moment, “Me, on the other hand, yes. It will. Youngjae, will you help me with this?” Youngjae walked over and tied the bandanna he was holding around Jaebum’s mouth, and it pulled at the corners of his lips. At first, Jinyoung didn’t understand why Youngjae was gagging him, but as the spell began; he did.

Jaebum's screams were awful; guttural and almost inhuman in their agony. His hand was above Jihee, and her veins glowed blue, and then the color dissipated in smoke around it. His entire body was rigid, as though made out of stone, and his hand was cramped tightly into a claw. That normally calm and beautiful face was twisted and as pale as the snow outside. Jinyoung wished he could look away, wished he could do anything to help. Seeing Jaebum in this pain was so unbearable that for a moment Jinyoung thought he would rather go through it himself then ever have to hear this torture again.

Finally, it stopped. Jaebum went limp, and immediately lost consciousness. His nose was bleeding from the strain, and it ran down his neck in rivulets. A reminder of all the power that he just used. Youngjae put the others head in his lap carefully, and started muttering words in an unknown language under his breath. Jinyoung watched in silence.

“Jaebum...he was the one who actually did the spell, wasn’t he?”

“Yes. He got the poison out of her. There’s no way I could have the power to do it. But the poison had nowhere to go, except to him. I was just here to make sure it didn’t kill him.”

“...will it?”

“He’ll be okay,” Youngjae assured, “he just needs to recover now. ”

Jaebum awoke a little while later, jolting up in bed as though he had been attacked. Jihee was resting in Jinyoung’s room with their mother. The door was locked behind them, (a precaution he knows Jaebum would appreciate) so Jinyoung had taken Jaebum back to his own room and stayed there with him. He jumped at Jaebum's violent awakening, but rushed to his side once he realized what had happened.

“Jaebum! You’re awake!” 

"I have..” Jaebum rasped, “I have to go. Right now, I have to- go.”

“What? Jaebum, look at yourself. You’re barely conscious, you’ve pushed yourself way too hard. I told Youngjae, I _promised_ him, you’re not going anywhere!”

Jaebum was saying something, but it was slurred and jumbled. It sounded like nonsense, and he wondered if he should get Youngjae in case the spell had gone array and done more damage then they had thought. Jaebum was not looking at Jinyoung, but rather looking past him. 

Jinyoung turned around and followed where Jaebum’s vacant eyes were staring. His eyes widened with shock at the sight, blinking to check if it was real. On the back wall of Jaebum’s room, amongst the dirt and the grime expected of an underground chamber, was a mass of black beetles. They scuttled across the wall, exiting through some hole that must exist. He had never seen anything like it before, it was as though they were possessed by something.

Or someone.

“I have to go,” Jaebum repeated, “I _need_ to go Jinyoung.” He seemed more coherent, but no less exhausted.

Jinyoung turned back to look at him, to tell him again that he was _not_ going anywhere, but before he could he flinched away from the bed as a flash of blue light exploded behind his eyelids. When he opened them again, Jaebum was gone. His bed empty. The beetles no longer there.

Jinyoung was alone.

 

* * *

 

Jaebum clutched his head pityingly as he lay on the ground. He doesn’t know where he is, only that his head hurts from the unexpected teleport and he just wants to meditate and sleep and not be conscious anymore. His signal rune burns on his arm.

“Jaebum.” His master says, “I’m sorry for the sudden summoning, but I had to see you immediately.”

Jaebum just groans in response. He doesn’t look up. Doesn’t move.

That voice keeps on talking gravely, “Your magic- Jaebum it is begging, crying. You know better then to use your body like this. An amateur or a fool acts as you have acted today.”

Jaebum swallows hard, tries to find his words again. His tongue is heavy and dry in his mouth, but he gets there eventually, “I’m sorry master, I did not plan on it happening, the situation was dire and I had no other choice.”

“There is always a choice, Jaebum.”

Jaebum makes the choice to not reply.

His master now sounds angry when he asks, “Why did you let the girl live?”

“What?”

“The princess. Why let her live.”

“I-I don’t understand why that matt-”

“Of course it matters Jaebum.” He snaps, “You know why it matters. Why every decision you have made recently matters. It is not the act, but the _intention_. Not the how but the reason for it. I taught you that.”

Jaebum growls back, hands digging into the soft soil underneath him as he struggles to move,  “She was an innocent, I was not going to leave her to die!”

“We both know that’s not true. And even so, there were many ways you could have saved her life without bringing her back to your home.”

He does not have the strength to defend himself, not now, not like this. He lies on the ground, and doesn’t say anything, he waits for what is going to come.

“Jaebum...I never wanted this day to come. But it seems you have forced my hand.”

“What do you mean?” He feels his stomach fill with nervous tension at the implication.

“Do what has to be done, what you _know_ should be done. Or there will be consequences.”

He knows what that means. Has known that threat since he first started this whole thing. But he has never, ever, screwed up bad enough for him to be afraid that it may actually happen.

“You would...take my people away from me? Take away my leadership?” He asks thickly.

“If I deemed it necessary, yes.”

“They believe in me, trust me, they would not let that be. There would be riots.”

“I gave them to you. I can make them forget.”

“You wouldn’t.” He snarls, but it sounds pathetic even to his own ears. Lacking it’s usual bite.

He keeps on going, feels the anger fill him- give him energy, “You don’t _own_ me, you don’t get to decide. I am powerful. I have allies you don’t know about. I can use my magic to-”

It was then that the slap came- hard and stinging across his cheek. The sound echoed. His master's voice was like ice as he said, “Sit up and kneel, Jaebum.”

Jaebum does as he’s told, and feels nothing but contempt in his heart. He can feel it in his veins, feels it in his blood. Rushing like torrents and filling every crevice. Hatred.

“Never forget- don’t you _ever_ forget,” He says darkly, “I gave you _everything_ Jaebum. I gave you power, purpose, I _created_ you. Molded you into this being, set you on the path to greatness.”

A pause, a caress across his face. His cheek aches.

“And I can take that all away.”

A hand grips his jaw, and Jaebum grits his teeth at the painful hold. He is forced to look in his eyes, and Jaebum hopes he feels all the loathing in his gaze.

“Focus on your mission, or I will make you focus. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, master.”

 

* * *

 

Jaebum loses an entire day to sleep when he returns. He collapses in his bedroll, and does not wake until the next night is beginning. When he wakes, he feels the tender spot on his cheek from where he was hit, and grimaces at the bruise that must surely be forming. He gets news from Youngjae, and is relieved to hear that the princess and queen are recovering.

In the forest, trees made the best watch towers. Coincidentally, they also made the best places to meditate; Jaebum can not even count the amount of time in his life he has spent up in trees, doing just that. Tonight though, his mind won’t focus. When he was child, meditation had been hard. The concept of letting all your thoughts go, and solely focusing on being inside your own mind; feeling your own sense of existence of power: was not easy. As he had grown older, and had gained more responsibility and more stress, mediating came like a gift. It was his solace, his relief, his safe place. But tonight, it was none of those things.

It should come easily to him tonight. He’s exhausted even after his rest; his runes, his body, his mind. He pushed himself much further than he has before, and he can feel that strain in his very core. So it should come easily, but no matter how much he tried to focus, or how much he tried to not let his emotions overwhelm him, he simply could not get the raging storm of feelings out of his head. His anger, his frustration, his hopelessness, his desir-

He wishes, desperately, that Jackson was here. His best friend would know what to do, what to say, to make this whole thing better. To make him feel better. He could make this whole situation make sense, could tell Jaebum that he is making the right choice. But Jackson was scouting ahead of them, collecting information, and so this was something that he had to face alone.

“Jaebum!” That was Jinyoung’s voice. Jaebum saw the end, clearly. It was coming at him so quickly he felt like a bystander. As though he wasn't in in his skin, but rather just watching this all as it came into focus.

“Can I come up?”

“Yes.”

He listens quietly as Jinyoung talks, of his feelings of seeing his family again and the excitement of the day. He thanks Jaebum, over and over again, for his help in saving his family. And Jaebum hears him, and feels his heart warm at the gratitude that Jinyoung feels. But he has to do this, he has to end this. Their time has run out. 

His master said he always has a choice, and this must be Jaebum’s. This is the choice he _must_ make, but then is it really a choice at all? Something about that doesn’t seem quite right, but Jaebum can see no other way out.

He tries to make it quick and painless.

The beginning of the end.

“We’re close enough to the capital now that we can find a king’s guard that we can drop your family off with them." Jaebum says, "They will escort your family safely back to the inner walls. And..if you so desire, you may go with them.”

Jinyoung’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “But...what about our deal?”

“You have easily fulfilled your side of the bargain, you have brought much valuable information and been a great asset to me, and for that I am thankful. But the bargain is done now, you may go.”

“But-” Jinyoung seems at a loss for words at first.

“What if I want to stay? I said I would accompany you all the way there, I mean what if you..I don’t know....get lost? Or- you don’t know how the nobles out there talk Jaebum. You’ll need me to do the talking, won’t you? You will! I know you will.”

This next part is the part that will hurt him, this is the part that Jaebum knows will sting like a betrayal, and as he says it he sees Jinyoung’s twist. Sees the emotions turn to pain, to anger.

_Good. Hate me after this. It will make it easier._

“If you do stay, I’ll transferring you to go to Jackson’s leadership. You and I won’t work together anymore”

“What? Why would I do that?” Jinyoung says incredulously,“Have I- have I not proven myself? I’ve protected you, fought next to you, I know I haven’t always been great but everyday I get even better and I-”

“It is not that I doubt you Jinyoung.” Jaebum interjects.

“Then...what is it?”

“Your sister was injured, and I brought her back to our camp.” He says slowly.

“So, what? I asked too much of you? Overstepped my boundaries? You could have-”

“ _No_ , Jinyoung. For once in your life, can you stop and listen?”

Jinyoung stays silent, and Jaebum starts again.

“Your sister was injured, and I brought her back to our camp. Your sister, and your mother. All who have connection to your father, and all who could easily bring the downfall of everything I’ve built. I let them see our camp, how we function, my _magi_ c. And not only mine, but also another members. A million counts of treason they could put against us. I am a leader. I am responsible for every life in that camp, and I risked it all. With almost no hesitation, with almost no doubt. And for what? Because..because I-

Jaebum took a deep breath.

“Because I could not bear the thought of leaving them and having you be angry with me.”

“I cared about _your_ feelings above the safety and priority of my people. And that is not your fault, I’m not trying to blame you. But I let it affect my judgement. I am...compromised by you Jinyoung.”

“And that’s why, if you stay, you need to go with Jackson. I have people I need to protect, and I’ve allowed myself to become complacent because of you. And I can’t anymore, there is too much at stake. I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung is silent for a long moment. It stretches on.

It still comes as a surprise when Jinyoung reaches over, and pulls Jaebum into a tight hug.

“What are you? What are you doing?” He tries to ask, but the words are scarcely out of his mouth before he is sobbing. He is so _tired_ and so afraid, and Jackson isn’t here, and below them are people who are trusting him, trusting him with their lives, and he keeps _fucking it up_ and- and he doesn’t even notice that he’s saying this all aloud until he hears Jinyoung above him, making soothing noises into his hair.

“Who did this to you?” He touches his cheek gently, but his touch his nothing like the man who inflicted it. “Is that the same person who made you leave last night?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about them?”

“No.” He gasps out.

“Okay,” Jinyoung says, running his hands through the short hair at the back of his neck, “If you don’t want to talk about him, then we won’t. It’s just us.”

Their time is running out.

Jaebum isn’t sure who kisses who first, only that one moment; his face is buried in Jinyoung’s neck, and the next, their lips are connected. Tentative at first, but then lavish and thick as months and months of dancing around each other, of tension and of secrets and of _want_ unravel between them.

“I just got you,” Jinyoung whispers brokenly between kisses, “How can I leave you now?” The bark of the tree is digging into his back and it hurts, but not as much as the pain in Jinyoung’s voice does.

“You have to Jinyoung,” Jaebum whispers, “you have to.”

They end up back in Jaebum’s room, clumsy climbing down the tree. Jaebum composes himself a little better as the pair of them walk through the camp, nodding greetings and pleasantries to the various people they pass. He feels naked, from his mussed hair to his lips that are surely reddened like Jinyoung’s. But in this moment he does not care, not about what they think, not about what will happen tomorrow when they wake. But just right now- him and Jinyoung together; on that bedroll in his room. The mess they make of each other.  

Jaebum whimpers like he can’t help himself, and he's kind of shaken by the fact that it's not because their groins are so close, but rather it's just because of the mere feeling of Jinyoung. After all this months, finally having him this close. His body pressed against him, his lips brushing his own, tongues sliding carefully and delicately, and the way Jinyoung's fingers are touching his cheek, his temple, his neck, his shoulder, his stomach and down and down and down; lower. His gasp is lost in between the slick kisses they exchange as Jinyoung touches him.

They alternate between kissing and touching, talking and saying nothing at all. Trying in vain to fill the few spaces they have left with all the things they still have yet to say or do. It is never enough.

“I don’t even have time to say goodbye to Jackson, to everyone. I can’t tell them where I’m going, can I?” Jinyoung says, and Jaebum kisses the tears off his cheeks. Salty and wet.

Jaebum cries again too, but it’s after Jinyoung has fallen asleep and he doesn’t want to let him see. In the morning, they kiss one more time, in the privacy of Jaebum’s room. Then they walk away from each other, and it feels like splintering. Like cracking apart. Like Jinyoung will never be whole again if he walks away from them.

But if there is one thing both Jinyoung and Jaebum know, it is this.

This is sacrifice, this is their duty.

 

* * *

 

Jinyoung comes home to the sound of bells.

As he walks through the gates, they all ring loud and clear. The snow is starting to melt, and the buds of spring have started to come up. Their blossoms are thrown through the air as he walks slowly with the procession. His mother is beside him, smiling blankly. Before they had left, Jaebum had cleansed her memory. Put a patch over it, so she remembered little of the two days she spent in fear. But Jihee on the other hand, she now meets his gaze with knowing eyes. She knows, that he is nowhere near the same man he was. Knows at least on some level, the ways in which he looks at their world has vastly changed. But neither can voice that, not when they all look to him now. The miracle son returned.

It’s funny, none of the subjects had really cared about him that much before, as a person and not a concept. But now that he was the kidnapped son. The returned one. Who had yet again defied fate. His people shed tears of joy as he walks by. And he smiles, and waves, and lets them. He, who survived the barbarians. He, who infiltrated their ways. He, who outsmarted them and escaped. He, who knows that none of that is true. And he who knows that he can never tell them that.

When he sees his father again, he bows low. He is wearing his ceremonial military uniform- it’s as crisp and as clean as the day he got it, because he never wore it before. Now he fills it easily, finally, he has been made into the man his father always wanted. The crest is on him and he can't bring himself to look. What would his friends all think if they saw him now? What did Jaebum tell them, about why he left? Will they know? Could he live with that?

A voice, deep and smooth, “Rise, my son.”

Jinyoung stands.

“We will find the people who did this,” His father says, “We will find those who dared to hurt the crown, who thought that they could break us.”

His father's hands clench into fists by his sides, and Jinyoung sees the king's advisers and guards all make wary eye contact. He doesn't blame them.

“And we will do it Jinyoung, with your help. Finally, father and son, united at last. We will destroy them all, together.”

The words taste bitter on his tongue, and they feel like a betrayal even after they leave his mouth, but he still says them.

“Of course we will, father.”

The king smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some world context: in regards to runes, other magic users evidently exist (i.e youngjae) despite the genocide that happened, but runes are very rare. jaebum's master is familiar with older more ancient forms of magic, and that's why jaebum gets to have them. more modern users don't even know how to conjure runes on the skin. that is why jaebum's runes are kind of an oddity and something to fear even among other magicians, and why his are so special. 
> 
> thank you guys for all the support! as always, please please please tell me what you're thinking in the comments
> 
> also if anyone wants to hit me up with questions, i made a curious cat [here](https://curiouscat.me/bellfromao3%20)


	5. meteor shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to put everything in perspective, here's some timeline stuff!
> 
> it was spring when the story began and jaebum and jinyoung first met. when jaebum first propositioned jinyoung, he said he'd stay with them three seasons, so he'd leave around winter. chapter two takes place in summer, chapter three in fall, and by the time of the fourth chapter it's winter. when jinyoung returns home at the end of the fourth chapter, spring is beginning again. so jinyoung basically spent a year with jaebum and the clan! this chapter takes place in the following weeks (not including the flashbacks of course), so it's around late spring/early summer.

_“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” - Marianne Williamson_

 

* * *

 

“Do you know what the greatest enemy in battle is, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung looks up from where he is sitting in the dying grass, it crunches underneath his palm. The sun is beating down and cooking them all from the outside in. Now when the pair trains, they must do it in short bursts before it gets too hot. And even then it’s exhausting. The sun has risen, so Jinyoung is taking a break before he’ll inevitably take refuge in Namjoon’s tent.

“I would assume it’s the person about to kill me?” He replies, and grimaces as he feels his bangs dripping with sweat. He shakes his head to get them out of his face.

Jaebum raises his eyebrows with a smile, “Not quite, although a good guess.”

“Your greatest enemy is _fear._ ” He says, “You don’t feel it now because you know me, and you know that we’re just practicing, but when you fight for real; you’ll be panicked, and you’ll be afraid- and that is exactly what will get you killed.”

Jinyoung is trying to focus on what Jaebum is saying, but as he speaks a bead of sweat is working it’s way down the others neck- lazy and slow. Jinyoung follows it with his eyes- the heat must be getting to his head.

Jaebum meanwhile, keeps on talking.

“Fear makes you clumsy, sloppy; you forget everything you were taught when you’re facing someone who wants to hurt you, wants to _kill_ you.”

“So how do I do it then? How do I not be afraid?” He asks.

Jaebum looks pleased that Jinyoung appeared to be listening, “Breathe deeply when you fight, short breaths will tire you quickly and make your nerves more prominent. It’ll make you off balance. When you keep your breath deep and even, it doesn’t take away the fear, but it lessens the effects.”

The bead of sweat has stopped, it’s now clinging to his golden neck. Jinyoung watches Jaebum’s throat work as he swallows and the drop falls from the skin- he is momentarily disappointed before he finds a new one to focus on.

“Are you ever afraid, Jaebum?” He murmurs.

Jaebum’s eyebrows furrow, but he still answers.

“Yes.”

Jinyoung teases, “You have the power of the Heavens at your fingertips, what could you possibly be afraid of?”

“What is the power of the Heavens worth if I can’t protect the ones I love?” Jaebum plops himself in the grass beside him.

“You’re afraid of losing them?” Jinyoung says softly.

“Of course I am.”

“I understand that.”

Jaebum smiles at him, easy and soft in a way that he is still trying to identify- and Jinyoung is taken aback that they can have these kind of conversations, and it does not always to be heavy and scary and hard. That he is sweaty and tired and they’re talking about personal things and then Jaebum smiles at him and suddenly none of that matters.

“So, what are you afraid of then?” Jaebum counters.

Jinyoung responds automatically, “Letting down my country.”

Jaebum scoffs.

“Come on. Leave the public support prince answer behind. What are you _really_ afraid of?”

Jinyoung thinks for a moment, his hand playing with the dead grass underneath him. Pulling it out from its roots, giving the dirt the opportunity to sprout new life. The air is rich with the scent of fresh dirt, and he inhales it deeply.

“I’m afraid of...of my father, for one. Afraid of what he’s capable of. I’m afraid of responsibility, of failing, of having to go back and be who they want me to be, when now I’m starting to hate who that person is.”

He thinks of his father and the castle, and then he thinks of days like today; times of hazy heat and the rush of swords and the gentle smiles that come out rarely- but always brilliantly. These are the days he knows he will remember.

“I like the person I’m becoming here.” He admits, “I think I’m afraid of losing that person.”

Jaebum doesn’t reply for a long moment, but Jinyoung knows that it isn’t personal, it’s just the way that Jaebum is. Eventually, he says, “Thank you, for telling me all that. It isn’t easy to be honest.”

Jinyoung shrugs, “Thank you for teaching me.”

“Just- when the time comes, remember what you’ve learned. Don’t let anything get in your way.”

“For my trial?”

“Just in general, times are changing fast, Jinyoung. Faster than even I am ready for. And you’ll need every ounce of your strength to come out on the other side. The thing about fears is that they are what destroy us, more than anything else. Don’t let your fears overwhelm you, no matter how strong they may be.”

Jinyoung could not say exactly why; maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the faraway look in his eyes- but in that moment it felt like Jaebum was talking much more to himself then he was to Jinyoung. Although he said nothing of it, and let the silence wash over them like a blanket in the heat.

In life, it is hard to pinpoint all the little things that have led a person exactly to where they are. All the insurmountable details that when seen with hindsight- can be cataloged into bigger significance. For instance; here, is where he realized he hated her, and here is where he realized he was awful with a sword, or here is where he realized that she was sleeping with him. Or here- right here-  maybe, just maybe, there was something growing- blooming, between two people. Aided by the sun, blossoming underneath the light, watered by the rains of change: the buds just beginning to sprout. The dying grass the only witness.

And later, much later, Jinyoung would look back on this memory, and know that this day was one of those moments.

 

* * *

 

“Your Highness, it is time to wake up.” A soft voice says, and Jinyoung opens his eyes to the light streaming through the curtains. These days, it takes him a moment to remember where he is. He has to repeat it to himself most mornings. Again and again, until it starts making sense.

He is in his bedroom in the castle, with its large bed and soft blankets and fireplace that he doesn’t have to start himself.

He is in his bedroom in the castle, far away from his friends, and safe.

He is in his bedroom in the castle, where he can’t hear the wind howling outside or the birds singing with the buzz of the forest.

He is in his bedroom in the castle, and he can call upon his servants to bathe him, so he does not have to spend days caked in mud.

He is in his bedroom in the castle, _safe_

In the castle, alone

In the castle. Without them.

In the castle.

Alone.

“Thank you, Yugyeom. I am awake now, you may leave.”

The servant nods his head in respect and scurries out of the room. Jinyoung smiles to himself as he watches the retreating form. He has known Yugyeom since he was merely a boy; watching with wide eyes at his father doing the jobs he himself now fills, and just in the time he was gone he has grown- both figuratively and literally- in ways that warm his chest. Small things, the simple things,  like that make him glad to be back.

Still, it’s strange. There are parts that are so achingly familiar, parts that he’s missed so much- the gardens, the food, the library, his servants and his sister and his mother. But he is aware, constantly, of all the things that are different now. All the ways that he can never look upon this life with naivety ever again. He walks through the gardens, and sees the soldiers doing drills in the courtyard- and he’s reminded of slain innocents and children’s eyes wide with fear. He eats the wonderful food of the chefs, and thinks of thin ribs showing through too skinny bodies and days of hunger pains he himself is now familiar with. Even his library, with all it’s endless wonder, and all it’s endless joy- is tainted. Because all he can think is how much better it would be if he could share it with someone.

No, not just someone.

Jaebum.

Jinyoung dreams of them, often. Not just Jaebum, but all of them at some point or another. He sees the camps, relives memories, goes through new ones, with all the people he’d gotten to know. He hears their voices, crystal clear, and when he wakes up he feels the pain of missing them like a physical hole in his chest. But even then, he would not wish to stop having them.

That’s the only way he can revisit his old life. The only way he can see Jaebum again. Truthfully, Jinyoung is afraid of the day when the dreams stop, when he can no longer recall exactly how Kihyuns’s voice sounded, or the way that Jackson laughs.

(Other times, his dreams take a different turn. And those always involve Jaebum. In those ones, there is heat, and his hands on his skin. That one night that was much too short, and all the nights Jinyoung has been wanting since. He sees Jaebum’s pouty lips, his dark eyes filled with lust, feels his tongue tracing the lines of the royalty mark on his shoulder- biting at the skin. Leaving new marks over the one the Heaven’s granted him. So obscene in it’s meaning that Jinyoung himself blushes at the thought, at the audacity Jaebum possesses. Those dreams wake with him aching, in more ways than one, fingers itching for that warm skin underneath his palms again.)

He prays more than he ever has in all of his life. For their safety and their health. He was never one to be caught up in the stories of old before, but here he is. Looking up at the paintings of the stars, and begging them silently.

_Keep him safe, please._

_Keep them safe, please._

(If you remember: the stars may weep for the lives of men, but the world will keep moving on.)

(So Jinyoung prays, and the world is turning, and the castle grounds are soaked in an unusual onslaught of rain.)

(They watch, always.)

 

* * *

 

“Jae, come on- wake up, Jaebum they’ve found us.” A voice hisses, and he feels an insistent pull on his shoulder; shaking him out of unconsciousness. His sleep addled brain immediately recognizes the voice to be Jackson’s, and as he processes the words that Jackson had spoken- his body fills with adrenaline and any grogginess dissipates like smoke.

“How much time do we have?”

Jackson’s hair is sticking up at odd angles, as though he has not even had the time to smooth it out. “Maybe twenty minutes, Changkyun spotted them past the clearing, but they’re on horseback- so it could be sooner.”

“Get everyone moving, emergency procedure. Let’s go.”

He grabs the important things he needs. His knife is already strapped to his hip, and he gets his sword. He debates whether or not to take his papers with him- the maps and plans he has, but thinks better of it. Instead he buries them in the soft dirt, and hopes he can come back for them.

The camp is not in chaos, not yet at least. There is a nervous energy, as they all wait in silence for the soldiers to come. It is a coward’s approach, to attack an enemy when they are supposed to be sleeping, that was one of the first things that Jaebum had taught Jinyoung. But the crown does not care about things like honor, so it makes sense that they would try and find them at night. It was lucky that Changkyun spotted them, because now they had the element of surprise.

A dark part of him is aware of the fact that they’ve been successfully avoiding soldiers for a long time, and then suddenly Jinyoung leaves- and now they are being attacked. But, he reasons, they are closer to the capital, and they’ve been pushing their luck, and Jinyoung? Jinyoung wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t sell them out.

He just wouldn’t.

The soldiers come, and they bring chaos. His fighters are strong, and he feels a sense of pride amidst the adrenaline as they fight fiercely. He runs a sword through a soldier on his left, and grimaces as his helmet comes off. The boy is young, hardly older than Bambam, the royal insignia is darkened by the blood soaking through his uniform and he groans pitifully as he dies- Jaebum wavers, for just a moment- but he ignores the nausea that finds its way to him, and keeps fighting.

It’s easier when you can’t see their faces.

The soldiers brought torches with them, and Jaebum can feel the heat as their camp is being burned to the ground. He thinks of all his carefully laid plans, down below in the dirt, and not only his, but all the possessions his people must surely have had that are being destroyed. He has to end this, they have to leave. They’re losing ground quickly; even with the advance warning they were given, Jaebum himself was not expecting the numbers that the king had dedicated to their little group. It won’t be long until bodies of their own started hitting the ground.

They can’t win this.

“Jackson-” Jaebum screams, “take everyone and run. I’ll distract them.”

“Are you out of your damn mind? I’m not leaving you!” A female voice shouts from his left. He knows it’s Jisoo, and Namjoon makes a noise of agreement from his right. Jaebum loves his friends, and their unwavering loyalty. But this is what must happen. He has to do this. He looks up at Jackson, and in that look- he knows that Jackson understands what he must do.

“Yes, you are.” Jaebum shouts back, “That’s an order, I’ll be fine. _Go. NOW_. ”

“I can’t leave you! Jackson! How can you let him stay here by himself?”

Jackson maintains eye contact as he says his next words carefully, steady- and despite himself Jaebum feels love bloom in his chest as he watches Jackson lead. The boy with the strange accent in the woods. He’s grown up so much.

“He said the order. So we follow. Come on, let’s go.”

They try and argue, “How can you do that? What is wrong with you-”

“I said, let’s _go_.” Jackson shouts. And even in the midst of battle, and without seeing their faces between the smoke and blood and men- knows that all of them are shocked by Jackson yelling like that. Funny, kind, easygoing Jackson. It takes a moment, with the soldiers closing in so fast, it’s hard to find a gap to retreat. But eventually, they do. They follow the order. One by one. Slowly, surely, his friends leave. Jackson is the last to go, and Jaebum knows that he wants to say something, but there is simply no time.

“Another time, my friend.” he thinks to himself.

_If I do not see you again in this life, know that I will in the next._

Jaebum is all alone now.

His cloak has come off, and the soldiers gasp as they see his runes- almost glowing in the firelight. Jaebum smiles, and closes his eyes. He flexes his hands, shaking them out for what he’s about to do. This is what he was trained for, this is what he was born for. Jaebum is as sure of this as he is of anything that has ever been, and anything that ever will be.

If he is going to be a distraction, then he will be the best damn distraction he can be. He lifts his arms, focuses his energy, and gives his friends enough time to escape.

 

* * *

 

Jinyoung adjusts his cuff links nervously as he walks through the halls with Yugyeom trailing behind him; he’s still getting used to wearing the clothing he did before, and it is stuffy and itchy in ways he had never noticed prior to his kidnapping. His father had summoned him to the throne room, and that was always anxiety inducing because he never knew what to expect. He breathed an internal sigh of relief when he sees that there are other people in the room, mostly advisors and generals, and Minsun is also there beside their father. More people means less focus on him, and especially after all he’s seen and felt in regards to his father- the less attention on him, the better. Jinyoung dutifully takes his rightful place on his father’s left side, and tries not to squirm in his seat.

He really should’ve known something was off the moment that his father looked so happy.

The king speaks jubilantly, almost giddy with his sheer enthusiasm to get the words out, “My friends- my subjects, today is a blessed day. Today, the heavens have gifted all my hard work, they have heard my prayers- seen my strife, and finally, finally rewarded me.”

A pause.

“Today, I have finally captured, the renegade himself. Im Jaebum.”

Jinyoung’s heart stops. His blood slows in his veins. His vision blurs. His ears ring. This can’t be happening.

“Guards! Bring our esteemed guest in.”

 The sound of chains being dragged across the floor grows louder and louder as the crowd waits in hushed anticipation, and with a huff the guards open the heavy doors. Jinyoung fights to keep his face neutral.

_Be wrong. Please be wrong. Please don’t be him. Please don’t be any of them. Please be wrong._

But there he is. Unmistakable.

Still, achingly beautiful. Eyes defiant and intense. Mouth downturned as though he has never known a smile. But Jinyoung has seen that smile, and he knows that it could end wars and bring men to their knees. One of his eyes is swollen, and an angry bruise is forming around it. Blood is running from his nose, and it stains his dirty shirt. Jinyoung _wants_. With every part of him. Wants to run to him, to hold him, to kiss him again. But he stands and keeps his face impassive as Jaebum is brought down on his knees with a hard shove to his back by one of the guards.

“Now,” The king almost sings, “Time for some questioning.”

“Jaebum, my friend, where are the rest of your people?”

Jinyoung feels himself fill with relief at what that means; the others are safe. It was only Jaebum, no one else. They’re still running, there’s still hope.

Jaebum doesn’t say anything, just looks up at him with those eyes.

“I was _so_ very hoping you’d say that.” The king smiles at his silence, and then gingerly steps down from his throne, approaches Jaebum, and kicks him in the stomach. The sound echoes. Jaebum tenses and bites his lip but didn’t make any noise.

“Okay, let’s try something a little simpler. Tell me your name, Im Jaebum- tell me, and all these people- exactly what you are. Admit it, and the pain will not be so intense. Just say the words.”

Jaebum looks up at him- unimpressed, his voice is clear as day when he says, “My name is not Im Jaebum, and I am not a magician.”

The king doesn’t say anything, but the eerie smile stays on his face. He kicks Jaebum again, but this time a little higher towards the ribs. This time, Jaebum’s face twists in pain. Jinyoung sees an adviser in the back row of the congregation wince.

Jaebum does not break.

“I am not..Im Jaebum, and I am not a magician.”

This goes on. For how long, Jinyoung could not tell you. He was much too busy trying not to vomit as he did nothing but watch as again and again, Jaebum was beaten. Both eyes were swollen now, and when Jaebum eventually paused to spit on the ground- his saliva was red with blood and something hard came along with it. A tooth.

“I….am...I am not Im Jaebum, and I am...n-not a magician.” Jaebum’s voice was slurring now, losing its clarity as the pain and injuries caught up with him. His eyes, however, remained defiant as always. Refusing to give in.

Jinyoung could tell his father was getting frustrated. This was going on for much longer than he intended. He had probably expected Jaebum to be begging by now, to be groveling. If he kept going for much longer, then Jaebum could end up looking more like a martyr than an enemy. He had to change his tactics.

“Guards, advisers, you may leave us. Wait outside the door.”

That meant the only people in the room would be him, Jaebum, his father, and Minsun.

“Jinyoung, come here.” Reluctantly, Jinyoung rose and walked towards them. His entire body was buzzing, being this close to Jaebum was agony. Seeing him like this, even more so.

“Jinyoung, you encountered Im Jaebum in your time taken, correct?”

This was dangerous territory. He had retold his story of his time spent away many times, and he had to be very careful. Jaebum had told him to kept it as vague as possible, so Jinyoung had said he spent much of his time in seclusion and confusion, as the kidnappers waited to put out a ransom offer when the castle eventually lost hope at finding their son. Jinyoung had not wanted to mention Jaebum at all, but even with the patch on the queen’s memory- there were some things that could not be erased, and Jaebum’s name was unfortunately one of them.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I did.”

“So tell me now, is this Im Jaebum?” The king is toying with him. Playing with his emotions. Jinyoung knows this, he just does not know what angle he is trying to take.

“I...I don’t know. He always kept his face covered. And it’s all beaten now. It’s just, it’s hard to tell.” He lies.

“Jinyoung…” His father says, Jaebum’s head had been hanging limply, and the man yanks him up by the hair so Jinyoung can better see his abused face, “Look at all this pain he is in. If I know who he is. That all goes away. Do you really want to see a man suffer?”

Minsun is looking at him with interest now, watching to see what he will do. She reminds him of a cat, seizing up it’s prey right before they drive a claw through its throat. He does not give her the satisfaction of even looking her way. All he can see is Jaebum.

_JaebumJaebumJaebum_

“I can’t be sure, father. I am sorry.”

There is something unreadable in his father’s eyes, and Jinyoung fights the chills he feels as the king murmurs, “So be it.”

He keeps going.

Minsun is watching boredly from her seat. She had come up and contributed her own efforts, and Jaebum’s cheek shows the bloodied marks of her sharp nails. Jaebum’s words now are hardly words at all, but rather mumbles. Yet Jinyoung knows he’s still trying. He’s still saying the same thing even if it’s incoherent. He realizes then, with horrifying clarity, that this won’t ever stop. Jaebum is much too strong of will to ever break. This will not end until he is dead. Until he is dead on the floor, and he’s half dead already, maybe even more, and Jinyoung just can’t watch this anymore, he can’t he can’t

_he can’t._

“Stop!”

The king looks up at his voice. Jaebum does not.

“Just...stop.” Jinyoung whispers, “Stop doing this. No more.”

Jinyoung is defeated. He knows that now.

“Yes. That is Im Jaebum.”

For the first time since he had entered the room, Jaebum and him make eye contact. Jinyoung did not even think he was strong enough to lift his head, but the minute that Jinyoung gave him up- of course he looks up. He is not sure, but he thinks what he sees in Jaebum’s eyes is betrayal. And that makes it all the more painful.

“Thank you, my son.”

His father calls to the crowd outside the room, and they all filter back in slowly to hear the sentencing. The king is triumphant as he shouts, “Im Jaebum, on the grounds of treason against your country, and the practicing of the dark art of magic, you will be publicly executed tomorrow at dawn.”

The king turns to him, “Jinyoung- you are dismissed. Thank you for your help.”

A quiet murmur works its way through the crowd at that. The public dismissal of the prince, especially before the lesser subjects in the room, is most definitely a slap in the face and most definitely was on purpose. But he doesn’t have the strength to be embarrassed, to be humiliated- he is long past caring what any of these people think.

So Jinyoung nods, and moves to leave. He is halfway there when he hears a voice, rasping and broken, but so distinct he would know it anywhere. He’s been hearing it in his dreams for weeks.

“I always knew you were weak.”

He doesn’t respond. Doesn’t turn around.

Jinyoung manages to make it all the way back to his chambers before he cries.

 

* * *

 

They’re lying together in Jaebum’s bedroll, and Jinyoung has his cheek pressed to the measly pillow as he runs a gentle hand over Jaebum’s back. Jaebum looks back at him, with his eyes crinkled, and Jinyoung does not think all the splendor and jewels and royal privileges in existence could ever compare to this. He tells Jaebum so, and the man rolls his eyes.

“Why would I need all that when I have you?”

“You’re a fool Jinyoung, take the jewels so you can buy me everything I want. I need a new scabbard for my sword.”

Jinyoung laughs- loud and real, and Jaebum smiles that brilliant smile that so few people get to see. He leans in for a kiss, and he really was planning for it to be innocent. But their time together is already so short, and every time their lips meet the fire between them is reignited. Jaebum parts his lips willingly, and a moan forms deep in his chest.

“The things I want to do to you tonight.” Jinyoung whispers lowly, and Jaebum feels himself shiver at the implication behind those words. With Jinyoung, he feels all that heaviness in him drift away. The leader, the magician, the man behind the name, all fade away. Here, he can let himself be kissed and held and talked to like this; the thought that he only gets to feel like this for this one night- makes him hold on just a little bit tighter.

“You can do them,” He says back, fighting back the shame that threatens to rise in his throat, the voice in him screaming at his weakness, “You can do anything you want to me.”

Jinyoung groans.

“You can’t say things like that and just expect me to not lose my mind.”

“I mean it.” He murmurs, and grabs Jinyoung’s hand. He trails it down his body: past his dark nipples, past his taunt stomach, past where Jinyoung thought he was leading him. Lower.

Jinyoung raises his head in surprise.

“Are you, are you sure Jaebum?”

“Yes.” He hisses back, and Jinyoung captures his lips in another searing kiss.

“I will, oh Heavens, I will. But just let me look at you, for one second. Let me remember this moment as long as I live.”

He drinks in the sight before him, and Jinyoung cannot believe he is in this position. The great and powerful Im Jaebum, who could kill him with the lift of a finger, but they didn’t know. How sweet he could be, how beautiful he was. How wanton in his passions, how sensual.

Jaebum cups his face in his hands gently, “I can’t stand the thought of leaving you.”

“I can’t either.”

Jaebum bites his lip. Jinyoung tries not to let himself get distracted by that, and focuses on what the man is about to say.

“What if..what if I told you there was a way? A way we could come together again?”

“I can’t tell you details Jinyoung,” He said apologetically, “because you’re going back to the castle. I don’t want to put your life in danger by giving you more information they could try and get out of you. But that business I’ll be in the capital for? It’s almost time.”

Jinyoung’s heart leaps, “Will I be able to see you?”

“I don’t know. But there’s a, there’s this...”

“What is it?”

“A spell.”

“I can put it on you and I, it will give us the power to communicate, when the time is right.”

He grabs Jinyoung’s hand again, and turns it so his wrist is facing upward. Showing the delicate skin of his inner arms.

“Anything you write on here, I can read. And vice versa. It will appear.”

“We can’t use it until we need, because it will drain my magic. But I can still tell you when the time is right. When you need the message, I’ll be able to send it. We can use it to our advantage.”

“Okay. How do we do it?”

Jaebum hops out of bed with renewed energy, putting on some leggings as he goes. He wanders around his room, picking up all kinds of strange substances and dried roots and things that he does not know. He watches as Jaebum carefully mashes it into a paste.

“I’ll spread this on both of our arms, and then we cast the spell.”

“The thing about spells,” Jaebum continues, “is they’re a trade. Obviously, they take my energy through the magic. But sometimes spells need more than that. Memories, fears, emotions, things like that. There is _always_ a price.”

“What does this one need?”

“A secret.”

“You just need to tell me a secret, something I don’t know, after I say the words, and the spell will be complete.”

Jinyoung nods, “Okay. I’m ready.”

They hold each others arms, with Jinyoung’s hand on Jaebum’s elbow and Jaebum’s on Jinyoung’s. He watches as Jaebum’s tongue forms ancient words in a language he does not understand. And when he is done speaking, he looks up at Jinyoung. Expectant, prompting.

A secret.

Jinyoung looks him straight in the eyes. Honest and soft in the candlelight. He knows what he’s going to say.

“I love you.”

Jinyoung jolts as pain hits his nerves. Jaebum tears his gaze away from him to glance down at his arm as he feels the magic sear it’s way into the skin. The spell was done. It worked. It’s true.

It’s true _._

It’s _true._

_It’s true._

Jaebum doesn’t even hesitate.

“I love you too.”

Jinyoung smiles breathlessly, still holding on with a vice grip to Jaebum’s arm, “You didn’t need to say a secret, Jaebum.”

Jaebum smiles back, “It doesn’t matter.”

“But how do I know you’re telling the truth?” He teased.

“I guess you just have to take my word for it.”

Jinyoung smiles, and leans in for another kiss. Although it isn’t much of a kiss, because neither of them can stop their grins- but they don’t mind. Sunrise isn’t for another few hours, and right now? They have all the time in the world.

 

* * *

 

 It’s a few hours after the scene in the throne room when the first message on his arm comes. He’s lying in his bed, the tears finally drying. The skin around his eyes is puffy and swollen, and he winces as he touches the tender flesh. It is then when it comes- not necessarily painful, but rather a low, stinging burn. Making its way across his skin in a loopy handwriting he knows well.

_The guards change at midnight. Come then._

So Jinyoung anxiously waits in his room for hours, pacing back and forth as he surely wears down the expensive carpet. Finally, the sky darkens and the castle quiets. It is time and he slips downstairs into the dungeons. They bring back unpleasant memories of his own imprisonment, those early days of fear and isolation. The damp air, and dank surroundings- smothering him. But he pushes the thought away in favor of dealing with the task at hand. The guard does indeed change, and they’re in luck- it is a new young officer. His eyes widen as he sees the crown prince approaching. Jinyoung holds out the money to him, and the man nods earnestly as he promises to keep this meeting a secret.

“Jinyoung.”

Just hearing his voice again rips him apart. All that time waiting and wishing, hoping and praying, culminate in this reunion. He collapses in front of the cell doors as tears threaten to fall again.

Jinyoung gasps out, “I can’t ever do that again Jaebum, I just can’t, you have no idea what that was like, how awful it was.”

Jaebum shoots him a half-hearted smile, “Yeah, it didn’t feel too good for me either.”

Jinyoung could groan at his sarcasm if he wasn’t so worried.

“Are you okay?”

Jaebum’s face softens, “I will be. Just very bruised. I’m glad the spell worked.”

“Me too. It’s been driving me crazy. I thought it was broken. I haven’t heard anything from you.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t risk it. I had to wait until plans were already in motion.”

“It’s okay, you’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

“Minus the execution part.”

“Yeah,” Jinyoung agreed, “We could do without that.”

They both turned sharply as a creak sounded outside the doors. It reminded them of their position, this delicate balance that they had to pull off. Jaebum lowered his voice as he spoke again.

“You know the guard you paid off will tell your father you came, right?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“So we need to make a scene. If he reports anything, it should be that you and I are fighting. You came to me to grovel and I shut you down.”

Jinyoung sighed, “Great. I’m the weak one again.”

“We have to play into your father’s assumptions about you and I.”

It registers in his head, “So when the time comes...”

Jaebum nods, “...we have the element of surprise.”

Jinyoung realizes what Jaebum had been doing this whole time. And could kick himself for being so foolish, so caught up in his own emotions.

“That’s why you said that to me,” He whispered, “In front of all the people in the throne room as I was leaving. You didn’t want him to think you cared about me.”

“Of course it was. You know I didn’t mean that.” Jaebum’s eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, as though he had not thought that Jinyoung might take him seriously. He reached for his hand through the cell doors, and drew circles on his palm with his thumb.

“Jinyoung, you’re the strongest person I know.”

Jinyoung wanted to say so many things to that. But before he could the floor outside creaked again- there was just no time. He knew now, they had to focus on the task at hand. “There will be time for all this once everything is over.” He said softly, and held Jaebum’s hand like a promise for just another moment, before reluctantly letting go.

“So how do we avoid you being executed.” He asked.

“I have a plan.”

Jinyoung waited for him to elaborate.

“Jackson and the others will be coming.”

“They will?” Jinyoung’s heart raced, he had missed Jaebum terribly, but he had missed the others too. The thought of seeing them again was enough to fill him with an even stronger resolve.

“I left plans for Jackson at the camp, if he went back to search what was left, which I can’t imagine him not doing, then he should have found them.”

“But how could he have known the date which the execution would happen?”

“He should be laying low somewhere in the capital. The king should advertise my execution as far and as wide as he can. He wants people to see me go, wants to assert his power. Jackson should hear the call. I have to leave the rest up to hope, and trust that Jackson will find a way in.”

“So what do I need to do?” He asks.

His heart sinks at the look on Jaebum’s face.

“I can’t ask you to do anything, Jinyoung.”

He tries to be calm, but he knows the outrage is probably evident in his voice as he says, “What? What are you talking about? I want to help!”

“Once you betray your family, there is no coming back.” Jaebum explains, ”The life you know, it will all be gone. I can’t ask you to give that up for me.”

“You’re not asking me to do anything I don’t already want to. Whatever I do, I do it because it’s what I think is best. You’re not the only one who gets to make decisions Jaebum! I am no child, I’m a capable fighter and strategist.

They stayed silent for a long, tense moment. But Jinyoung refused to budge. He had sat alone in this castle for too long. Playing the dutiful prince waiting for his savior. But not anymore, it was time he got the chance to prove his own self worth and skill- whether Jaebum wanted him to or not.

Jaebum still seemed hesitant, but even so, Jinyoung assertion seemed to make him realized that it was not his choice anyway, “When the time comes, I’ll need you to give me another second to escape. Get in the king’s way. You’ll know what do when it comes. Do you think you’ll be able to do that?”

“Yes.”

“Do you understand what you’ll have to do tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Okay I’m going to start yelling at you now, just play along.”

And steadily the pairs voices start rising in volume, until the young soldier with his ear carefully pressed to the door winces at the noise. Unaware that he is playing right into what they want.

And that night, just a little after midnight. The king, who had been waiting up in anticipation for this exact message, hears the knock at his bedroom door as the courier requests to come in. Urgent news from the dungeons.

He smiles from his bed, and allows the guards to open the door. Unaware that tomorrow is when everything changes. Unaware that his world will never be the same.

 

* * *

 

Jackson stood quietly in the back of the crowd. The people were buzzing, in the city Im Jaebum was a household name now. A story to the children- they would play with each other and pretend to conjure magic from their hands just as he did. But only in secret- far away from where teachers or parents could condemn their reference to the Arts. And the parents and adults, who hated him ardently as they favored with a king who did not provide for them. Even if they may not truly feel that, everyone here seemed to try and keep up appearances. In the little time he had spent in this place, it was as though he lived in a bubble. There always was someone watching, and everyone was afraid of who it may be. The people were terrified to live, so instead they just existed. He felt resentment bubble in his chest at the thought, but pushed it down.

There was a pole surrounded by dirt in the middle of the courtyard, it was on a raised platform with coils of rope nearby. So this is how they were doing it. They were going to burn Jaebum to death. The small square was surrounded by guards, all who had razor sharp swords. There would be no getting on that platform and to Jaebum that way. He searched for familiar eyes in the crowd on the other side, and met Changkyun’s first. The boy gave a subtle nod of acknowledgement from underneath the hood of his cloak, and Jackson felt some of the anxiety in his stomach dissipate. They were in this together, they were not alone.

The people waited for what seemed like a long time. He watched the sun’s position shift in the sky, and even in the pleasant air of spring- exhaustion was starting to settle in. Jackson rocked on the balls of his feet to keep his focus, and it was then that the first trumpets sounded. It was beginning. The crowd shifted and churned as people grew excited and it made him grimace. These people, safe in their bubble city, did not understand death or loss. They did not know of sacrifice, or honor. This was an exciting event. A show to break the monotony. Nothing more.

Before they brought out Jaebum, the royal family emerged. The king came first, wearing long robes of a deep blood red. Then the queen, whose eyes seemed vacant. Then came Jinyoung. It was strange, like seeing someone wearing a mask that didn’t quite fit. He was Jinyoung, as Jackson had come to know, but here was an air of authority and regality that he hadn’t seen in a long time. Here, wearing his fancy clothes and his neat hair and straight back, he looked every bit the royal he actually was. He saw Changkyun’s eye widen at the sight. There had been no way to involve the people in this mission without revealing Jinyoung’s true identity, and they have all reacted in their own ways. Some with anger, either at being lied to or at hatred for the crown. Some confusion. Some surprise. Some all three. But everyone had put aside their feelings to help Jaebum, and for that Jackson was grateful. He felt guilt that Jinyoung had not gotten to be the one to tell his own secret, but desperate times had called for desperate measures, and he could only help that Jinyoung would forgive him for it.

There was two women standing beside Jinyoung. The princesses, Jihee and Minsun. One was tall, with her face twisted into a scowl. But the other, she was- something else. She was beautiful, with kind eyes and a gentle face- yet somehow still fierce. There was power there, whether it be of the mind or body or both, he wanted to know. If she were but a common women, he would have tried anything to approach her, just to talk at least for a moment. But she was no common woman, and this was no common day- so the desire left just as quickly as it had come.  

Finally there was Jaebum. Jackson’s heart twisted painfully at the sight of his best friend. His eyes were dark and blackened, his face swollen and lip bloody. He walked painfully, and Jackson could only imagine the myriad of bruises that are hiding underneath his tunic. Jaebum’s hands are bound, so he can’t use his magic. He walks up the steps of the platform, and a guard kicks him in the back to make him kneel. It seems that the king is going to say a few words before the blaze begins.

“My people, today is a historic day.”

“For all these long years, our land has been tortured by the people who practice the dark Arts. They murder our children and destroy our crops. They try and disrupt all the hard work that the people have built by using magic.”

The crowd roared and Jackson was pushed here and there. The people were working themselves into a frenzy, only a bit more shoving and this could turn into a riot.

A riot.

A _distraction._

Perfect.

“But today, we bring the end of that. With the cleansing of one of the most notorious magicians, one of the most destructive, one of the most evil. Im Jaebum.”

“My friends, join me in saying goodbye to this monster. Today, we will celebrate the rise of the kingdom, and the end of the times of the old ways- once again!”

The crowd was above roaring at this point- Jackson’s ears buzzed at the noise. An elbow hit him on the back, and he took that as his cue. He pushed back, hard. And within moments, the entire crowd was a sea of chaos as people yelled and cursed at each other, the scene on the platform momentarily forgotten. He made eye contact with Jisoo, who was above the crowd out of a buildings window, with a bow and arrow carefully held. She was the best shot they had, and now was most certainly not the time to miss. Jaebum would not be pleased if he caught an arrow in the back.

The king was trying desperately to get the people’s attention back on him, trying to yell over the wild crowd. But he was not having much success. The guards were staring at each other uncertaintly, unsure if they should intervene or remain at their posts.

He made eye contact with Jisoo, and gave a nod. It was now or never.

No one else would have heard it. Not Jinyoung, or the king, the crowds or the guards. Only those whose ears have been expecting it would know the _shoosh_ as four arrows flew through the air- each one hitting their targets perfectly. The four guards on Jaebum’s right side all fell to the ground with an arrow lodged in their heart. It happened so fast most of the crowd would not have even noticed. One moment, they’re all standing there. Jaebum, with his wrists bound in the middle of the platform. The king, the princesses, and the prince in a line of the edge of it. All of them encased by the soldiers. The next, four soldiers were gone. The royalty had hit the deck, fearing an attack on their lives. In the moment of panic, the soldiers first looked to the family. It was barely a second, but it was enough time. All so caught up in their own fears, that no one saw Jinyoung fall forward instead of backward like the rest of his family. His positioning just so, that his father was blocked from getting up, and the opening was clear for someone to run through. So the soldiers ran to him, and when they looked back, the prisoner was gone. Jaebum had disappeared into the crowd.

“Noooooo!” The king cried, shoving the guards and Jinyoung off of him.

“You fools, they’re not after me. They were just giving him a chance to escape. He couldn’t have gotten far, find him!”

 

* * *

 

Jaebum should be fleeing. He knows he should.

He has no time, he never does, does he? But he is not running away. He is tired of running away, so instead here he sits, and here he waits. He wonders if the king will think to look here, if he will actually believe that Im Jaebum has the audacity to do something so outrageous, so disrespectful.

He sits in the king’s throne, and he waits.

The door bursts open, and there he is. Soldiers run by as the king stands in the doorway and the pair lock eyes. He expects him to alert the others, to bring an army to try and bring Jaebum down. That is why his next words surprise him.

“There is no one in here.” He says quietly, looking Jaebum right in the face. Perhaps the man did have some honor after all.

The doors slam shut behind him.

“It’s a nice place you have here.” Jaebum says, “The ceilings are so high though, doesn’t it make you dizzy?”

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting.”

“That’s not what I mean. What do you want. I have given you freedom, allowed you to have almost free rein in the outerlands, left you alone. Then you steal my son, and attack my kingdom.”

“I didn’t take Jinyoung.”

“Of course you didn't.” He mocks.

“It is alright that you don’t believe me," Jaebum says slowly, "but understand this. You think, that because you don’t actively try and kill me in the outerlands, you deserve respect? You think I should thank you for you kindness? When your public campaign against my people results in the deaths of Heavens only knows how many? Woman? Children? Innocent people. Even if you yourself did not draw the swords or fires that killed them- you may as well have.”

“Magic is a sickness, Jaebum. It spreads, and it kills, and it won’t ever stop until we stamp it out.”

“You allowed your grief to destroy you, and you are the shell of a man. You are nothing.”

They are only inches apart now, and Jaebum is still sitting in the throne. The king feels a pressure on his stomach, and looks down to see that Jaebum has his knife trained to the man’s abdomen. It pricks, and he feels as a drop of blood stains his robes.

He laughs. Hearty and deep. Jaebum’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

The next thing Jaebum knows, he’s on the ground with the wind knocked out of him. His knife clatters on the floor a few feet away. How could he be so stupid? How could he let his guard down? How could he think this would be easy? A foot steps on his hand, and Jaebum cries out- trying to free it. The king just applies more pressure, and he feels as the bones shift. The weight grows more and more intense until Jaebum hears the crack, and knows that his hand is broken. Pain floods his nerves and explodes white behind his eyelids. He screams, and cradles it to his chest with his uninjured one, trying in vain to get away.

“Did you really think you could kill me?” The king sneered, his foot moving so it was pressing down hard on Jaebum’s chest next to his hands, making it hard to breathe and impossible to move. Jaebum understood why he had done that, why he had let Jaebum think he had this, so he could catch him off guard. Without both his hands at full capacity, he couldn’t use his magic. He had underestimated the king who had so much to lose, and it may cost him more than he had realized.

“You are nothing, Im Jaebum.” The king says, looking down at him, “Nothing in comparison to me. Your kind are a disease, an infection. I have been removing you from the blood of my people for years, and your death will be no exception.”

Jaebum breathes through the pain of his crushed hand, and tries to think. When he first met his master, he had been in awe of his power. There was one thing that had remained awe inspring even as he got older and developed his own skills. The most difficult thing for a magician to do, one of the greatest signs of their power, is to conjure magic without using their hands. Not even Jaebum, by far the most talented magician he knew of aside from his master, had been able to do it.

If there was any time to try, however, it was now. Jaebum had run out of options.

“I’m so,” He gasped, “fucking tired of people thinking they know me.”

He concentrated, his eyes burned from the strain. He just had to get the king away from him. Just a simple spell. He could do it, just a simple spell. Magic was a trade, and Jaebum was giving all the energy he had.

A little more. The spell needed more. He had to give something up. He thought of his master, of his friends, of all the hate and love and rage and joy inside him. Of kissing Jinyoung, of laughing with Jackson, of crying alone. Everything in his life that has led him to this moment. Just a simple spell, he could do it.

Magic is a trade, it takes.

And it gives.

A simple spell was all he needed. The king cried out as suddenly he was thrust backward by the burst of magic that had escaped Jaebum. Jaebum was trying to find the energy he needed to incapacitate the man before he could struck again, but then he realized that something strange had happened. The king's cry of surprise had been cut short by a wet gasp as he was thrown backwards. He squinted his eyes and Jaebum looked in confusion. Because it looked like a horn was suddenly growing out of the front of the kings chest as he stood hunched over a few paces away. No- not a horn. But a-

knife.

It was a knife, shiny with blood and glinting with sharpness- peeking out of the man’s chest like a hello.

Or a goodbye.

He fell to the ground, landed with a loud _thwump_ and just like that. The king was dead. His reign was over.

Jackson looked first at Jaebum, then at the body on the floor, then at his knife lodged inside, and grimaced at the mess. Then he shrugged.

“It was taking you too long, so I took matters into my own hands. He was gonna kill you.”

Jaebum stared incredulously for a moment; then leaned back onto the cold marble floor, took a deep breath, and laughed.

 

* * *

 

They all stand quietly, in the carnage of this world they’ve created. Jihee, Jinyoung, Jaebum, and Jackson. Faces bloodied and hands still shaking from the gravity of what they’ve done. They sit together, on the floor of the throne room. No one has found them or the body yet. The world is changing, shifting, and all because of them. All trying to find words to fill this space, but not locating any. The future is a scary thing, vulnerable and uncertain. So they sit, and wait, and do not speak. Each one for their own reasons. Each with the childish notion that maybe, just maybe, if they remain in this space for just a second longer, than the world will not have changed and they will not have to face the consequences of all the moments after it.

It is then, in that quiet of emotion, that he comes.

They hear the clapping first, slow and controlled, approaching closer and closer and closer and then: there he is. A figure walks through the doors, not through them, but _through_ them. Material proving useless. Jihee and Jinyoung gape. He glides across the floor, dressed in all black. He is still applauding, as though he has reached the end of a play. An audience member. 

(They watch, always.)

“And long live the king! What a brilliant ending!”

Jaebum stares, wide eyed and open-mouthed. Disbelieving.

“Now this is all quite well and good, truly magnificent way for things to go, but where exactly is my place in all this?”

“What are you, how did you- what are you doing here?”

Jihee turns to him in confusion, “Do you know this man, Jaebum? Who is he?”

The figure continues, ignoring the questions and looking right at Jaebum, “Did you _really_ think I wouldn’t know Jaebum? Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?

“I didn’t, I can’t-”

The man cuts him off with a sneer, “Imagine this: Im Jaebum. The dreamer, the fool, the fucking _revolutionary._ Conjures up some wild plot with his friends to travel to the capital and kill the king and somehow restore peace. But then, what after the king is dead? The country scrambles for leadership from an unfit prince and falls into the chaos once again.” Jinyoung frowns at the mention of him, but his face is still steely.

Jaebum’s master stops for a moment, and smiles, “But then! Imagine that, a change in plans. The crown prince- weak, lost, just _falling_ into your lap. The stars align. Befriending you, being around you, trained by the best and now- suddenly- you have access to the ruler of our country, who is no longer the inadequate thing he once was. And magic will finally, _finally_ be allowed to rise again.”

Realization dawns.

“You knew. The whole time, you knew. You used me, manipulated all of this.”

“Of course I knew, Jaebum.”

Jaebum shakes his head, clearly overwhelmed. The others watch- frozen in confusion. Lost among all the history that is between these two people.

“You- you but you hated my relationship with Jinyoung, you discouraged it at every turn.”

“I wanted you to gain an _ally_. I never planned on you and all your romantic idealizations. Your desperate, foolish hope to be loved.” He taunted, “That was never part of the plan. You were losing focus. I had to make the stakes higher to get you back on track.”

Jaebum doesn’t say anything. It seems he has no words left.

“Jaebum, have you never wondered exactly who you are?” The man asks him.

“What are you talking about? I know who I am.” He says with gritted teeth.

“You are all familiar with the story of the Master, who brought the seven years of chaos. Correct?”

He walks closer to Jaebum. Close enough to touch, and he reaches out a hand for his shoulder, but Jaebum just flinches away. The man lets him.

“Think about it Jaebum, the Master disappeared, and not long after. You are born. A child of the old magic, a child who takes runes to their skin easily, almost as though they never left. A child who can walk into the home of the druids, and hold a holy knife in their palms.”

“...what are- what are you saying?”

“Do you remember what I told you when we first met?”

“You said...you said that you had heard whispers about me.”

“Your magic Jaebum, it speaks in ways others don’t. Why- would other magicians fear you so much? Why- would the whispers be so interested in _you?_ A sniveling child who could barely move a vase of water, a nobody. Nothing. Street trash from the outerlands, destined to live and die as insignificant as you were born.”

“And I doubted it at first too. I told the heavens, I appealed to them, I said- I don’t think you are right. I don’t think the boy is anything special. How could he be? Our second meeting, I almost left.”

The man smiled again.

“But again and again, I was proven wrong. Your power shined through. Even that night, I sensed it. I saw all the ways you could surpass nature, you could grow. In the wrong hands, without careful direction, you could be disastrous.”

“So I took you, shaped you. The reincarnation of the most powerful magician in my hands and my hands alone. The Master’s final trick, and greatest wild card. And now, together- with your help- with _his_ help - I will lead this country back into the arts. Destroy all the weak fools who feared the power of magic.”

“I am not, how could I be- the Master.”

The man is now speaking hurriedly, tripping over himself, as though he is getting tired of Jaebum’s hesitance, “Your knife Jaebum, did you ever translate it? Did you ever figure out what it says?”

“No. I, I never did.”

“May I?” He asks. And Jaebum gently takes it out of his pouch, and gives it to him with his good hand.

The man runs his fingers gently over the ancient words, and speaks them with reverence, “Only the Heavens can stop a god.”

“This blade was his, crafted in his hands, and now it is yours- it calls to you and you alone. It gives you power, correct?”

“...yes. It always has.”

“Do you understand now Jaebum? Everything I was trying to do, everything I ga-”

“Stop.”

The man’s look of shock would be comical if this moment was not to tense. None of the others know what to do. They are merely observers, watching this moment unfold.

“ _What_?”

“You….used me.” Jaebum whispers quietly- voice hoarse, “My entire life. It was never about me, it was always about how I could get you what you wanted.”

He walks closer to his master, his eyebrows now downturned and his face twisting in anger, in rage, “You’re right, I did have a foolish notion to be loved. By you, the closest thing to a parent I’ve ever had. And I gave you all I could. My magic, my attention, but it didn’t matter. It _never_ mattered. _I_ never mattered.”

Jaebum’s voice is changing. The smooth tone has turned rough, almost as though it is no longer his voice at all. It is deep, and shakes the ground as he walks forward. The very air around his is bending and crackling- filling with an unspeakable power. The rest of the group exchange nervous looks. 

“You held me back, you kept me from reaching my full power. You controlled me, caged me, you are _afraid_ of me. Afraid of who I could be, so you kept me within your lines, within your limits, never going too far. Never disobeying. ” His voice is booming now, it rattles the walls and old pieces of stone rain down on them all. His voice turns cruel as he continues, "Always, 'yes master' 'of course, master' let me do what you say is best- _master."_

Jackson hunches over, trying to regain his balance. Then, slowly, he approaches step by step, “Jaebum, calm down. Jaebum, _Jaebum_.”

But Jaebum was past the point of hearing words, of being himself. His eyes had changed from their normal brown, and were now outlined in gold. His hands almost glowed as they shake with energy. He raises a hand, and pins his master to the white wall. The man tries to move, but Jaebum does not let him. He twists his wrist on his good hand, and the man screams in agony. Jaebum pauses, and looks down at his injured hand. Seeming to realize it as an inconvenience. He flexes it, and they all watch in horrified awe as the grisly sight of the skin hiding crushed bones is repaired. He healed himself. No one had seen anything like it, as none had even though it possible to do. But Jaebum had just done it, with hardly any effort. Meanwhile, the man against the wall is making sounds so guttural that they are almost not human at all. Jaebum smiles (viciously, savagely, so unlike himself- so _wrong_ ) and does it again, twists his wrists, now with both hands, and blood spurts from the man’s mouth as his insides are rearranged again and again and again and again. The power of hate, the power of revenge. But who’s revenge is it? Is it revenge at all? People are taking cover. The castle is crumbling, the city is shaking. The world is turning, still. They are always watching, and they are afraid.

.

.

.

Only the Heavens can stop a god.

.

.

.

Jinyoung is the second son that was never meant to be. Jinyoung- the child who defied the Heavens. Who didn’t have a destiny, who was born out of none.

.

.

.

“Jaebum!”

(This is a story of destiny, but it is also a story of choice.)

.

.

.

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung tries again, his voice pleading.

Jaebum pauses. He turns. His head cocked curiously. 

Jinyoung reaches out a hand, “Jaebum...this is not you. This is not you. Stop, please.”

Jaebum blinks, once, twice.

“People are getting hurt Jaebum. Please.”

And the gold disappears. Jaebum blinks again, and his eyes are back to their normal shade. Next, the blue energy leaves his hands. Finally, the anger leaves his face. He looks at Jinyoung in shock, in fear, in despair.

Jaebum’s master falls to the ground, dead. Merely a pile of flesh and blood and soft tissue. Nothing else. Crumbled to dust, just like the stone falling through the air. Just like the way that things once were.

Only dust.

They all stand quietly, in the carnage of this world they’ve created. Jihee, Jinyoung, Jaebum, and Jackson.

There is only silence.

 

 

Epilogue

 

_“And will I tell you that they live happily ever after? I will not, for no one ever does. But there was happiness. And they did live.” - Stephen King_

 

* * *

 

“Minsun still has not been found?”

Minhyuk shook his head apologetically, “No, your Majesty.”

“I’ll devote twenty more troops, keep looking Minhyuk. As long as she stays out in this land, the kingdom and its people are in danger.”

“Yes, your Highness.”

Jihee looks over at her brother from where he is now slouching in his seat. A bad habit from when he was younger. Now that they were alone in the room, he seemed ready to indulge in it. She reaches a hand across and rests it on his arm.

“We’ll find her.”

“Will we? She is a snake Jihee. She is good at disappearing when she needs it.”

“We are trying all we can, there is no point dwelling in doubts.”

“You’re right.” He sighs, a faraway look in his eyes.

She pats his arm to get his attention, “You are doing a wonderful job, my King.”

Jinyoung smiles woefully, “You’ll be much better.”

She hesitates, feeling the guilt rise in her throat the way it did whenever this topic came up. No matter how many times Jinyoung assured her it was what he wanted, she was still afraid she was being selfish. Getting what she had always wanted, what she had never even let herself _hope_ she would have, is an overwhelming thing to be confronted with. “You know, we don’t have to do this Jinyoung. I am happy with my position.”

Jinyoung shook his head, “I was never meant to lead Jihee, but you will make a fine Queen. The people love you, they trust you, and so do I. I am blessed, to forfeit my position to someone so capable. I will be of much greater use doing other things. And I’ll always be here to help.”

“The people will-”

“Never fully accept me Jihee.” He injected, “They don’t trust me. The city is divided, and I am not the person who can bring them together.”

She feels her heart swell, “I will try my best.”

“You will do amazing Jihee, they already love you. Now you can show them who you really are.”

Jihee felt tears prick her eyes, and smiles in spite of them, “I love you so much, Jinyoung. I promise I’ll make you proud.”

Jinyoung smiles back, and squeezes her hand, “I know you will Jihee, I know.”

 

* * *

 

Jackson walks through the halls of the castle, trying to prepare himself for the conversation about to occur. He groans when he turns a corner and is met by a wall instead of a door. The man still gets turned around sometimes when he’s traversing this massive structure, especially when chunks of it are still missing and being repaired. Eventually, whether by pure luck or sheer will, he finds his way. When he walks into the room, Jaebum is lying in the darkness- half curled on his side. Jackson lights the lanterns and the man sits up, but Jackson can see the bags underneath his eyes.

“Did Jinyoung send you?” He rasps out.

“He asked me to come talk to you, but I was going to regardless.”

The man stayed silent.

“Jaebum, it’s been almost a season. You can use magic. Or at least stop living like this. Stop punishing yourself.”

Jaebum shakes his head, “I _can’t_ Jackson, not until I can be sure I won’t lose control again.”

“I’ve got this, this thing inside of me.” He clutches at his own chest to further his point, “This darkness. In that moment, with you and the others- I was prepared to destroy the entire castle. Blow it into pieces. Regardless of the women, the children, my friends. I would have done it if not for Jinyoung. And I _could_ have done it. Easily.”

Jaebum’s eyes are haunted when he whispers, “I can’t risk letting it out again, letting _him_ out.”

Jackson grabs his best friend’s hands in his own, and Jaebum winces- as though just touching him could hurt the other.

“Jaebum. He is not you. You are not him. Whatever part of him is inside you, we’re working to get it out. Youngjae and I, we’ve been researching. We’ve found some promising things from old druid texts.”

“The only person who could translate those is dead.”

“Not quite, we found someone. Someone from across the sea, his name is Mark, and we think he may be the key to getting what we need.”

Jaebum looks so, incredibly tired as he says, “I don’t know Jackson, I just don’t know.”

“You don’t have to know. If you don’t want to come, if you want to stay here with Jinyoung and the others, that is alright. But Youngjae and I are going to leave in a fortnight. Think about it, okay?”

Jaebum stays quiet, and Jackson sits on the edge of the bed, placing a careful hand on the other’s hair.

“Jaebum, I love you so much. So does Jinyoung. And Jihee. And the others. Please stop thinking you’re alone, because you’re not. We all are here, we went through hell and back- together. That bond will never be broken, no matter how much distance you try and put between us.”

Silence.

“Just think about it, okay?” He repeats.

“Okay.” Jaebum replies softly.

And that word has to be enough for now.

Jaebum doesn’t demand the lanterns off as Jackson leaves, so Jackson will consider this a win. Jackson has known this man all of his life, and he will do whatever it takes to get him to a place of ease. He has faith, and patience.

Time heals most everything, Jaebum will get there eventually.

 

* * *

 

Jinyoung finds him in the library.

Jaebum is stretched out on the floor like a cat; all long, graceful limbs. Jinyoung knows from experience that the way the sunlight is streaming in through the window has probably created the perfect warm patch to lay on. He sits down next to Jaebum.

“What’re you doing?” He asks.

“Nothing, just reading.”

Jinyoung picks up the book Jaebum has beside him and reads the title aloud, “The Complete History of the Royal Family.”

He gives Jaebum a look, “Anyone of interest?”

“No, most of your ancestors are pretty boring. I see where you get it from.”

Jinyoung gives him a light shove and Jaebum smiles, Jinyoung moves to lie down next to him.

“How is everyone adjusting?”

“Jackson is having the time of his life. Taehyung, Jisoo, and Minhyuk are doing okay. Namjoon fits in like he’s always belonged here. The others are...doing alright. I know Changkyun was struggling with some of the established soldiers.”

Not all of the Clan had come to live in the castle. Some had stayed in the outerlands, either not willing to be caged, or not trusting the crown. Jinyoung and Jaebum had both felt their own feelings of betrayal at some of those who they had left behind, but both also knew that all they could do was respect the decisions. And honestly, Jaebum was glad some members had decided to reject Jinyoung’s invitation for a new home. He felt comfort that the Clan was still existing outside of the castle. Rebuilding magic relations with the kingdom was a big job and an important one, but nothing had given him the same immediate and certain validation that being out in the wild had; knowing that that was continuing on without him was a good thing. All someone could hope is that they build something everlasting, that can move forward even after they're gone. The name Im Jaebum may fade from memory, but the Clan’s good deeds and reputation persisted.

For the ones who had come to the castle, however, the transition was difficult. Two different peoples, both with their own perceptions of each other, suddenly living under the same roof and serving the same man. There were bound to be some resentment and some fighting, but Jinyoung was trying his best to make as much peace between them as possible.

“It’ll get better,” Jinyoung says softly, “The old are afraid of the new, but they will learn to accept them. I won’t tolerate them doing any different.”

“Some people just can’t open their minds Jinyoung, you can’t change that. Most of the people around here still flinch when I walk by.”

Jinyoung gently took the others hand, “It won’t be this way forever.”

“It’s alright. I understand why they’re afraid.” And Jaebum says it so matter of factly and with so much acceptance that Jinyoung felt the pang of heartache in his chest.

“I’m not afraid.”

The look on Jaebum’s face is grateful, and he squeezes Jinyoung’s hand in thanks. The conversation dies, but the silence is companable as they both lie in the sun. Jaebum’s head comes to rest on his shoulder, and Jinyoung lets him sleep. Jaebum has his own room, but he often stays in Jinyoung’s. He insists that he gets enough rest, but Jinyoung will often wake with the space next to him empty, and Jaebum watching the stars from the window as though they can answer all of his questions.

A little while longer passes, and then Jaebum is speaking again. The words soft against his neck.

“Jackson thinks he’s find someone who may know more about my...situation. Who may be able to help.”

Jinyoung tangles his hand in Jaebum’s hair, “You know what you have to do, Jaebum.”

“Jinyoung I-”

“Jaebum. Right now, as much as I would love to keep you by my side forever, we both know that this is not where you should be. You need this. Where ever this man is, you need to find him.”

Jaebum’s voice sounds tight when he speaks, and Jinyoung knows that if he moved his face from where it was buried in his neck- Jaebum’s eyes would be watery as he whispers, “I love you, Jinyoung.”

“I love you too. Every part of you. No matter what happens.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

He pauses,

“Is it wrong to say I’m glad you got kidnapped?”

Jinyoung laughs, genuine and joyful, “No, I’m glad too.”

And they lay there together surrounded by books, warmed by the sun until hours pass and night falls. Two beings, with the weight of history laying heavily on their shoulders, and together they carry it. The universe will speak of these two for a long time, the ones who altered their courses, who challenged their inheritance in all it’s evil, awful glory

The future is uncertain, yes, isn’t it always? The Heavens toy with the hands of fate, but the choices that are made can redirect those hands in a million different ways. Love, uncertain and blinding and true, will bring kings to their knees and wizards to their deaths. But it persists. And it destroys, and it heals. And then it does it all over again.

In the end, everything is simple. Even this, especially this.

For in this moment, they are not kings, or magicians, or bringers of evil or peace alike; in this moment they are two beings. Separate but together. Curled around each other and finding the strength to live another day, to confront another crisis.

The world is turning.

But the heavens don’t weep for the lives of men, not today.

Because today, there is no reason to.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a happy ending? not necessarily. a hopeful ending? absolutely.
> 
> and there was the big reveal! i'd tried to leave hints throughout the fic pointing you guys in that direction, so even if you didn't see it coming hopefully if you go back and look you may find some! i wanted to write it so that if you reread it, you can notice things you didn't before, and this chapter is definitely full of symbolism, comparisons, and parallels.
> 
> and now it's time for my sappy end notes as another story comes to a close.
> 
> when i started writing this story, i had just come off of writing what was at the time, the longest thing i'd ever written. i had said that i was not going to start another chaptered thing for awhile, but then on a whim i started this and what a ride it has been. plain and simple- this story has been a challenge. it's out of my comfort zone, i'm not someone who normally writes fantasy, even though that's what i primarily read. this forced me to write in ways i've never had to before, and lord was it tough sometimes (fight scenes? jesus have mercy). it was a daunting task, to suddenly control this huge world i had to navigate, and somehow convey to readers in the way i saw it in my head. but it was so worth. just throughout the course of this story i've grown so much, and i'm so happy that i got to share it with you all.
> 
> so to everyone who reads this, who leave kudos and comments, thank you so much. you gave the story life, and gave me the reassurance i needed to actually move forward despite my insecurities. thank you, for loving this despite it's flaws, and helping me push to create something i'm proud of. i'm so overwhelmingly grateful.
> 
> they're definitely be more to this, i definitely set it up for a sequel and i have some little scenes i wanted to write and add. there is much more to their story, now especially that we know who jaebum truly is, and he has to wrestle with that new reality. so keep your eyes peeled for that, in whatever form it may take. 
> 
> if you liked this, please feel free to read some of my other works. thank you again for reading, i hope you all have a wonderful day, and i'll see you soon.

**Author's Note:**

> and off we go! this is what happens when i watch too much merlin and play too much fire emblem. this'll be a wild ride so i hope you guys are ready. 
> 
> please please please comment and let me know what you think, i love hearing your thoughts!


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